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CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Daniel and Sam had known that, sooner or later, this would happen.  News of their relationship had finally entered the base grapevine.  It turned out that someone passing by Daniel's office had witnessed the moment between him and Sam when she kissed his head, then heard Daniel ask her to come home with him.  The woman had wasted no time passing on what she'd seen and heard.

Sam kicked herself over the slip, realizing that she should have been more careful.  But what was done was done, and there was nothing to do now but deal with the gossip.

Tomorrow would be the start of a three-day weekend for them, Monday being Labor Day.  They planned on spending Saturday and Sunday alone together, just relaxing and recuperating from all the stuff with Ke'ra.  The barbecue at Janet's would be on Monday, which would include just Daniel, SG-1, and Cassie.

A file in his hand, his eyes on the words printed on the paper, Daniel walked down the corridor, occasionally glancing up to make sure he didn't walk into someone or something.  As he reached a corner, he looked up and noticed someone staring at him oddly.  He stared right back at the man.

"Something wrong, Lieutenant?" he asked.

"No, nothing, sir," the man replied.  He then walked on by.  Daniel watched him leave, then continued toward his destination, which was Sam's lab.  When he got there, he saw that she wasn't alone.  A scientist who occasionally assisted her was there.  When the woman saw him, she, too, got an odd look on her face.  She glanced back and forth between him and Sam, then excused herself.

"How often has that been happening to you?" Daniel asked Sam.

"You mean that look?  Too often."

"Yeah.  I sometimes wonder what they're thinking."

Sam frowned severely.  "I wish they'd just ask instead of making a bunch of guesses and assumptions that are probably wrong."

Daniel gave her back a little rub.  "Me too, but we knew that people might react like this.  Everyone will eventually get used to it, and we'll no longer be the hottest topic on the base grapevine."  He smiled.  "And think about it this way.  Now that everyone knows, I can do things like this without worrying."  He followed that up with a kiss.

Sam gave a nod.  "You're right.  That is an advantage."  She pulled his lips back to hers in a second kiss.  It was halted by someone clearing their throat.  They turned to see Jack standing just inside the lab, which made both of them blush.

"Having fun, are we?" he asked blandly, his expression unreadable.

The couple drew apart.

"Sorry, sir," Sam said, her cheeks heating up even more.

"Are you here for something, Jack?" Daniel asked, staring at the man closely.

"Nothing important.  I just wanted to find out what you're bringing to the barbecue so that I'll know what not to bring."

Daniel replied.  "I was going to bring some baked beans, and I think Sam's bringing a salad."

Sam nodded.  "Two salads, potato and macaroni."

"Good," Jack said.  "That'll work.  I was planning on providing the steaks and the beer."

"I'll let Janet know, sir.  She already has hotdogs and hamburgers.  What about Teal'c?"

"He can buy the other beverages.  So it sounds like we're all set.  I'll see you two on Monday."

Jack was around six yards down the corridor when Daniel came hurrying up to him.

"You want to talk about it?" the archeologist asked.

"Talk about what?"

"What you saw.  That's the first time since you found out about us that you've seen me and Sam being . . . affectionate."

"Yes, it is, but it's not like I thought I'd never witness stuff like that going on."

"And you're okay with it?"

"Sure.  No problem."

Daniel stared at the grey-haired man's profile.  "Jack."

The colonel came to a halt.  He glanced about and saw that there was no one else around.  "All right.  You want the truth?  It did bother me a little, but not so much that I wanted to leave the room.  I've had two weeks to get used to the idea of you two being a couple.  You don't have to walk on eggshells around me.  It's fine.  I'm fine.  So don't go deliberately acting like you're not a couple when I'm around.  You have my express permission to smooch as many times as you want to at the barbecue."

Daniel almost laughed at that last sentence.  "Well, thank you, Jack.  I'm so pleased that we have your permission."

Jack nodded shortly, then continued down the corridor.  Daniel watched him leave, wondering if his friend really was as okay as he claimed to be.


There was a big smile on Cassie's face, which had been a frequent occurrence all afternoon.  Actually, the smiles had started last night when her mother told her that Daniel and Sam were in a relationship.  Janet had also told the fourteen-year-old that Daniel recently lost his wife, and Cassie thought it was so romantic that the grieving widower had found love again with one of his best friends.

Ever since Daniel and Sam arrived that afternoon, Cassie had been watching them.  She saw the way they looked at each other, the way they smiled at each other.  It was so different from the way it had been at previous parties, when they were just friends.  Sam looked at Daniel like he was her whole world, and Daniel looked at Sam so warmly and tenderly, that is except when they leaned into each other and whispered something secret.  Then he smiled like Cassie had never seen him smile before.  Actually, before today, she'd seldom seen him smile at all.  He seemed so happy now, and so did Sam.

The couple was now sitting side-by-side, eating hotdogs.  Sam had a dab of mustard on her cheek.  As Cassie looked on, Daniel wiped it off with his thumb, then leaned over and kissed her.  The sight made Cassie silently squeal with delight.

"You look like you're about to start jumping up and down and cheer, Cass," her mother said as she walked up to the girl.  "What's got you so happy?"

"Oh, I think it's just so wonderful that Sam and Daniel are dating.  It's so obvious that they're totally in love."

Startled by the statement, Janet stared at her daughter, then looked over at the couple.  They were laughing about something, and they did look very happy.  Compared to Daniel's demeanor at Sha're's funeral less than two months ago, the difference was startling.

Janet returned her gaze to her daughter.  For obvious reasons, she had not given Cassie any information on the circumstances surrounding Daniel and Sam's change in relationship, so the teenager had no idea that only one of the pair was in love with the other.  It was only natural that Cassie would assume they both felt the same way, and, to be honest, if Janet didn't know the truth, she'd think the same thing.  Daniel was certainly acting like a man in love.

Janet saw no reason to tell her daughter the truth about the relationship.  Why spoil her happiness?  She was a fourteen-year-old girl who was at that stage when love is romanticized and idealized to the extreme.  She and her girlfriends went to every romantic movie that came out in the theaters, and Cassie went on and on about the romances between celebrities.  It probably wouldn't be long before she got her first crush.  She was growing up, and this was all part of it.  The bad thing was that, if Daniel and Sam ever broke up, Cassie would be devastated.

Cassie was not the only one who had been paying a lot of attention to the couple.  Jack's gaze had been on them often, and about half the times that it was, he got a frown on his face.

"They appear to be quite content," said a voice to his left.

Jack looked up from his chair at Teal'c, whose eyes were on Sam and Daniel.  "Yeah," he muttered.

Teal'c's dark-eyed gaze fell upon him.  "You sound displeased."

"I wouldn't say that displeased is the right word.  Now, worried is definitely the right word."

"What concerns you, O'Neill?"

"Well, look at them, Teal'c.  I've never seen Carter so happy before.  I'm just worried about what's going to happen when this whole thing between her and Daniel goes south."

"And you are certain that it is going to . . . go south?"

Jack stared back up at the Jaffa.  "Aren't you?  You know, now that I think about it, you and I have never talked about it.  What do you think about this whole thing?"

"I believe that Daniel Jackson and Major Carter acted hastily and allowed strong emotions to cloud their judgment."

"Then you think they're making a mistake, too."

"I did not say that, O'Neill.  I do believe that it was a mistake for them to begin this relationship when they did, but they both appear to be happy, and I have always believed that they were well suited for each other."

That last part surprised Jack.  "You have?"

"Yes.  I believed that, if Daniel Jackson had not already been in love with another woman, he and Major Carter would have embarked upon a relationship shortly after meeting."  Teal'c looked at Jack.  "Do you not agree, O'Neill?"

"I don't know.  I never really thought about it."

Jack looked back at Daniel and Sam and got to thinking about the relationship the two shared before they became romantically involved.  He couldn't deny that it was close.  They seemed to click right from the start.  He'd never forget watching them "mind meld" in the map room as he and Kawalsky just stood gaping at them, totally clueless.

If Daniel had never fallen for Sha're, and circumstances still enabled him and Sam to meet, could he see them becoming a couple?  He was surprised to realize that he could, quite easily, in fact.  So why hadn't he ever seen this before?  It was because Daniel had been so in love with Sha're.  Because of that, Jack could never imagine the archeologist having a relationship with Sam.

So, now that they were in that kind of relationship, could it really have a future?  If it had started a year or two from now, after Daniel had gotten over Sha're, Jack could picture it being successful.  The problem was that it began only a few short weeks after Sha're's loss, and Daniel was still in love with her and still grieved for her.  It was for that reason that Jack couldn't put much hope in it surviving.

"So, given how it started, do you think it has a chance?" Jack asked the man beside him.

"That I cannot say.  Daniel Jackson's love for his wife was great, and the wounds of her death were deep.  Those things are still strong in his heart.  Yet he has found happiness and contentment with Major Carter.  We can only wait to see which emotions will prove to be more powerful and abiding."

Jack grew a little smile.  "Why, Teal'c.  Those are quite the words of wisdom."

The Jaffa said nothing, only smiling ever so slightly.


The next day, SG-1 went on another mission.  Though Daniel kept himself from going to the control room to watch them leave this time, he couldn't stop thinking about it.  It was supposed to be a simple meet and greet with a culture they had been told was peaceful.  Even so, Daniel was wishing he was there.  He had always been their point man when it came to first contact with native populations.  What if Jack said something that angered the people?  He wouldn't be there to calm everyone down.  What if it was a society with strict rules about women, like the Shavadai, the culture on Simarka that was descended from the Mongolians?  Sam would probably get ticked off, and he wouldn't be there to smooth her ruffled feathers.

Daniel tried to tell himself that he had no reason to worry.  Even if they did run into trouble, they were perfectly capable of getting themselves out of it.  Besides, he was supposed to be getting used to this, getting past his anxiety.  The problem was that he didn't seem to be doing so.

Sighing explosively, Daniel got up from his desk and left the office.  He wandered around the base for a while, ignoring the looks he got occasionally.  In time, his wandering led him down to the infirmary.  From the doorway, he watched Janet talking to a patient.  She glanced up and noticed him.  Excusing herself, she walked up to the archeologist.

"Is something wrong?" she asked him.

"No.  Well . . . yes.  I just. . . ."  Daniel trailed off, not wanting to admit his concern.

Janet studied him for a moment.  "Come on.  I never got any breakfast this morning, so I'm getting pretty hungry.  You can keep me company while I eat."

They went to the commissary, where Janet got her belated breakfast, and Daniel got a cup of coffee.  As she ate, she watched him stare at the contents of the cup in his hands.

"What's bothering you, Daniel?" she finally asked.

"Sam, Jack and Teal'c are on another mission, first contact with a culture that is supposedly peaceful."

Janet nodded, understanding now.  "But you're still worried about them."

Daniel let out a sigh.  "Yeah.  I know I shouldn't be.  They're all way better at taking care of themselves than I am in dangerous situations.  Even if something did happen, they are well armed and well trained.  They'd be fine."

"Yet the fact remains that they are there, and you're here, in the dark about what's happening, not knowing if they're okay or not."

Daniel frowned back down at his coffee.

"Daniel, it's understandable that you'd feel that way, especially this being only the third mission they've gone on without you, just the second one, if you discount the last one because you ended up joining them.  You care about them, and you worry for their safety.  There's nothing wrong about that."

Daniel didn't look up from his coffee.  "When Jack and Sam accidentally got sent to the gate in Antarctica, all the time they were missing I was worried sick about them, wondering where they were, if they were okay.  I couldn't sleep.  I couldn't stop trying to find them.  I wished I was with them so that at least I'd know if they were all right."

"And that's how you're feeling now?"

"In a way.  I mean, this time, I have no reason to believe they're hurt or in danger, but I still wish I was with them so that I'd know if they're okay."  Daniel shook his head.  "I'm just worrying needlessly.  Everything's fine.  They're fine."  He got to his feet.  "I'm just going to go back to my office and get some work done, which is what I should have been doing all along."

Mad at himself for bothering Janet with his obsessive worry, Daniel headed back to his office.  He was just getting off the elevator when there was the announcement of an unscheduled off-world activation.  He froze in his tracks, his heart rate rising.  He told himself to calm down, but it did no good, so he just stood there, waiting.  He hadn't been waiting long when other words came over the speakers, ones that had him spinning on his heels and slamming his hand against the down button for the elevator.  The doors opened immediately, and he rushed into the elevator, pressing the button for Level 28, the call for a medical team still ringing through his head.

By the time, Daniel reached the gate room, he was nothing short of frantic, positive that something had happened to Sam.  When he ran into the room and saw her sitting on the ramp, her BDU shirt covered in blood, he felt like someone had punched him in the gut and twisted a knife in his chest at the same time.

"Sam!" he cried.  He ran forward, dodging personnel and even pushing a few of them out of his way.  She saw him and rose to her feet.  Before she could take a step toward him, he was there, his hands grasping her arms, a terrified look in his eyes.

"Oh, God.  You're hurt," he gasped.

"No!  Daniel, I'm okay!  It's not my blood."

Sam's words managed to penetrate through to Daniel's brain.  "I-I-It's not?"

"No.  It's Miska's."

"Who?"

Sam pointed down at a man lying on the floor.  In his rush to get to Sam, Daniel hadn't even noticed him nor the medical personnel that were treating him.

"There was an accident in the village, a landslide," Sam explained.  "Several people were hurt, but Miska was the only one whose injuries appeared serious.  We decided that we'd better bring him here.  Teal'c and I brought him through.  The colonel's still on the planet, helping where he can.  We're going to send some medical personnel through to treat the other injured and some people to clear the debris."

Realizing that Sam was okay, a wave of relief swept through Daniel so powerfully that it left him feeling weak.  He yanked her into his arms and held her tight.

"Thank God.  I-I thought. . . ."

"Shh.  I know, Daniel.  I'm all right . . . well, mostly."

Daniel pulled back slightly.  "What do you mean mostly?"

"I twisted my ankle while trying to rescue one of the accident victims."

Daniel looked down and saw that she was favoring her left leg.  "Why didn't you tell me?!"

"It's no big deal.  I've had lots of twisted ankles."

The archeologist led her a few feet away from the crowd of people and helped her sit on the floor.

"Do you want me to get your boot off?" he asked.

"I think we'd better wait on that until I'm in the infirmary."

Just then, Janet came over.

"How is he?" Sam asked.

"He'll be fine.  It looks worse than it is.  He won't be needing surgery."  The doctor looked down at the leg Sam had stretched out straight.  "And how are you?"

"I'm all right, just a twisted ankle."

"Well, I'll be wanting to take a look at it, of course.  Another gurney is on the way for you."

A little while later, Sam was on an exam bed in the infirmary.  Daniel had stuck to her like glue.  He was now holding onto her hand rather tightly, the aftermath of fear making it impossible to let go.  He hadn't said anything since they'd gotten there, and he hadn't met Sam's eyes even though he knew that she was looking at him.  He still wasn't fully in control of his emotions, and he didn't want her to see it.

"Daniel, are you okay?" Sam asked softly.

Before the archeologist had no choice but to answer, Janet came walking up.

"Miska is doing well," she said.  "The wound is being cleaned and debrided.  There's a lot of dirt and rock particles in it.  As soon as they're done with that, I'll get busy stitching it up."  She turned to Sam.  "In the meantime, I might as well take a look at that ankle of yours.  How is it feeling?"

"It still hurts but not too bad."

Janet got Sam's boot and sock off.  "There's some swelling, but not much."  She gently examined the injury.  "I'd say that you've got a slight sprain, which, of course, means that you're going to have to take a few days off to let it heal fully."

Sam sighed.  "Great.  Just what I need."

"It could have been a lot worse, Sam," Daniel said, an odd note in his voice.

The major looked at him, but still couldn't get him to meet her eyes.

"Um, excuse me," he then said.  "I need to go use the bathroom."  He hurried to one of the infirmary bathrooms and locked the door.  He looked down at his hands and saw that they were shaking.  Closing them into fists, he went to the sink and splashed cold water on his face, trying to regain his composure.  He stayed there until he'd succeeded, then returned to Sam.  A nurse was busy wrapping her ankle.

"I'll take you home as soon as she's done," he said.

"That's not necessary.  I really don't have to go home.  I can just put my foot up on a chair.  As long as I stay off of it, it'll be fine."

"Sam, Janet said that you need to take a few days off.  If you stay here and work, there's no way you'll stay off that leg.  You need to go home and rest that ankle."

Recognizing that Daniel wasn’t going to give in, Sam did so instead.  On their way to her place, he asked for details on what happened.  She filled him in, which led to her talking about the people of the planet, who were, indeed, peaceful and friendly.  Daniel said very little, not peppering her with all the questions he normally would.  It was easy for Sam to see that something was bothering him, but he seemed reluctant to talk about it.

Once they'd arrived at Sam's place, Daniel fussed over her like a concerned grandmother.  He settled her on the couch and provided her with pillows for her feet and back and an icepack for her ankle.  He fixed her a cup of herbal tea, gathered a stack of reading material for her, and made her an early lunch, doing it all at breakneck speed.  Finally, Sam had had enough and managed to grab hold of his hand.

"Daniel, stop.  Please tell me what's wrong."

"Why do you think something's wrong?" he asked, avoiding her eyes.

"Because you're acting like the Energizer Bunny on speed, and you've barely spoken a word.  It's obvious that something is wrong."

Daniel stood unmoving for several seconds, then slowly sank onto the edge of the couch next to Sam's thigh.

"From the moment you guys left on the mission, I'd been worrying," he said in a low voice, his eyes on the floor, "thinking about all the ways that you could run into trouble with the native population.  I know I shouldn't have, but I couldn't help it.  When the announcement of the unscheduled activation came over the speakers, I got this horrible feeling, and then when they called for a medical team, I was certain that something terrible had happened to you, just like in that dream I had.  When I saw all that blood on you, I-I thought I was going to lose you like I lost Sha're.  All I kept thinking was that Sha're had died, and now you were going to die, too."

"Oh, Daniel."  Sam reached up and pulled him down to lie with his head on her chest.  He wrapped his arms around her waist and held on tight.  She stroked his hair and placed a kiss on the top of his head.  "You didn't lose me, Daniel, and you're not going to."

"Don't make that statement, Sam.  You and I both know that SG teams risk being killed every time they step through the gate.  I have a whole lot of personal experience to attest to that."

Sam let out a sigh.  "Yes, I know.  But we could also get killed just driving to work.  Nobody is completely safe."

Daniel sat up, his face turned away.  "I know, Sam.  You're right.  I'm just still a little shaken up."  He got to his feet.  "You don't have much of anything for dinner, so I'm going to do some shopping.  Do you need anything before I go?"

Sam stared at him for several seconds before saying that she didn't.  He gave a short nod, then headed for the door.  Sam watched him leave, a frown on her face.  She understood what was happening.  Daniel had lost the woman he loved only two short months ago, and he was now terrified that the same thing was going to happen with Sam.  Probably what he should do was talk to a psychiatrist, but there was no way he would agree to that, not after what happened with MacKenzie.

Sam wished that she knew what to do to ease Daniel's fears, but there really wasn't anything she could do short of leaving SG-1.  He was right about the dangers of being on an SG team.

So would she leave SG-1 for him?  Would she leave the military for him?  She really didn't have to think about it.  The answer was yes.  She would give it all up for him.  But she knew he wouldn't let her do that.  Besides, it wouldn't really cure the problem.  Only time would do that.  In time, Daniel's fear of losing her would ease to a normal level.  She had to believe that.

When Daniel returned, he looked calm and relaxed, though she had to wonder how much of it was an act.  He insisted on staying with her even though the crutches Janet had sent her home with would assure that she wouldn't have to put weight on her injured ankle.  He watched TV with her, her legs on his lap, his hand gently caressing the one with the bad ankle.  He fixed dinner that evening and served it to her on a tray so that she wouldn't have to leave the couch.

As they lay in bed that night, Daniel never let go of her, not even in his sleep.  It was no great surprise that he had a nightmare.  Sam managed to soothe it away without awakening him.  She thought about what had happened today and all the days before then, back to when they first became a couple.  There could be no doubt that he had come to care about her very deeply.  His terrible fear that she would die was a testament to that.  But did it mean that he was falling in love with her?  Sam wanted to believe that it did, but she was afraid to get her hopes up.  Sha're's death was still very much with him, and his reaction to what happened today might mostly be because of that.  It was natural for anyone who'd recently lost a loved one to be afraid that it would happen again.  For a long time after her mother died, Sam was scared to death that her father would get killed, leaving her and Mark alone.

Would she ever be sure that Daniel loved her like she loved him?  Would she ever feel that in her heart?  There really was only one way: if she heard those words from his lips.  He would never lie and say he felt something that he didn't, so if the day came when he looked her in the eyes and told her that he was in love with her, she'd know that it was true.

Whether or not that day would ever come was the real question.


Sam's ankle was feeling much better the next day, so she insisted that Daniel didn't need to stay home from work and help her.

The archeologist hadn't been in his office for very long when Jack came in.

"How's Carter?" he asked.

"Her ankle still aches, but it's doing better.  She was complaining about staying home of course."

"Of course.  She's as much of a workaholic as you are."

"How are things on P5D-804?"

"The teams sent through are getting the landslide cleared away as fast as possible.  We're just lucky that only a small part of the hillside gave way.  If the whole thing had come down, there wouldn't be a village left.  We're going to put up nets and retaining walls, although the smartest thing to do would be to move the village farther away from the hill."  Jack stared at Daniel closely.  "I hear that you got pretty . . . worked up in the gate room."

Daniel's gaze dropped to his computer screen.  "I was just worried about Sam.  I heard the call for a medical team, then, when I got there, I saw the blood on her, and. . . ."  He shrugged.

"Yeah.  Teal'c said that he's never seen you move so fast.  He has doubts that an army of Jaffa could have kept you from reaching her."

Daniel looked up at Jack doubtfully.

"Okay, so he didn't actually say that," the colonel admitted, "but it was implied."

"It just scared me.  I thought she was seriously injured."  He decided to steer the conversation back to the planet.  "So, I understand that the people on P5D-804 are friendly."

"Yes, they're very nice.  You'd have loved talking to them, which I'm sure would have been a lot more fun than being cooped up in this dingy office."

Daniel said nothing in response to that, having grown used to the little comments Jack frequently made regarding the advantages of rejoining SG-1.

"And I'm betting that, with your knowledge of geology, you would have seen right away that the hillside was unstable."

That made Daniel frown, wondering if the man was right.  He probably wasn't.

"Having a bachelor's in geology doesn't mean that I have the ability to look at the side of a hill and instantly tell that it's unstable, Jack," he responded.  "You can't always tell from what's on the surface."  He paused.  "Did it make any strange noises before it went?"

"Yeah, actually, it did.  There was a weird thumping and banging sound."  Jack saw Daniel frown again and pointed at him.  "Ah ha!  I was right.  You would have known that hillside was going to come down."

"Maybe.  I'd have been . . . concerned."

"And you would have hustled us all away from it, probably saving a lot of people from injury."

Daniel stared at him.  "Are you trying to make me feel guilty over not being there, Jack?"

"No, I'm trying to make you see that your knowledge was valuable on missions."

"Jack, how many times has my knowledge of geology been of any use on a mission?"

"Admittedly not many, but I can think of one time that it probably helped save a whole lot of lives: on Edora."

"There are a lot of people here with knowledge of geology."

"That's true, but there's something I want you to think about.  You told me that you couldn't go through the gate anymore because your reason for doing so was no longer possible.  So maybe it's time for you to consider that there are other very good reasons for you to be on the team."  Jack gestured at a photo on the archeologist's desk.  "I bet if you took the time to think about it, you could come up with a few yourself."

The colonel turned and walked out of the room.  Daniel's gaze went to the photograph.  It was of him and Sam, taken at her birthday party last year.  He'd decided to frame it and put it on his desk since they no longer had to hide their relationship from the personnel.

His mind went back to his thoughts earlier today, how he'd have felt better if he had been on the mission because he would have known whether or not his ex-teammates were okay, whether or not Sam was okay.  If he rejoined the team, that would no longer be a problem.  But could he do that, go back out there knowing that Sha're was no longer also out there somewhere, waiting for him to rescue her?  Could he keep that from preying on his mind?  As he stepped through the gate onto Vyus, that thought had crossed his mind, and it had hurt.  How long would it take before it no longer did?

With that question and more going through his mind, Daniel got to his feet and left his office.

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