CHAPTER ONE
Jonas Quinn walked slowly through the complex that, for the most exciting year of his life, was his home, his place of work, and his refuge from a world and a people who had branded him a traitor. He would be going back to that world in about an hour, and he had to admit that he wasn't completely happy about it. When he left the SGC to begin his new job on Kelowna as a diplomat, he had believed it was what he wanted. He had missed his home, family and friends. But now, after months of dealing with the never-ending squabbling, paranoia and mud-slinging that went on between the leaders of his planet, Jonas was wishing that he'd stayed with the SGC. At least for right now, the squabbling had stopped. Jonas didn't know what Jack had said to them, but, whatever it was, it had significantly altered the attitudes of First Minister Dreylock, Vin Eremal and Lucia Tarthus.
As Jonas passed the office that used to be his and was now, once again, Daniel Jackson's, he glanced inside. What he saw made him freeze in his tracks, mouth dropping open. One of the heavy bookcases in the room was sliding across the floor, seemingly under its own power. Jonas stepped closer to the door and saw Daniel standing before the bookcase, his attention focused on it.
"Daniel?"
The archeologist started violently. At the same time, the bookcase jumped up off the floor an inch or two, books toppling off the shelves, then came back down, tilting backwards.
"Crap!" Daniel swore. Jonas then watched as the falling bookcase halted in place and slowly straightened itself. Daniel turned to the Kelownan with an embarrassed smile. "Hey, Jonas."
"Uhhhh . . . hi." Jonas dragged his eyes from the bookcase. "Daniel, what's going on?"
Daniel glanced at the bookcase sheepishly. "Oh, um, yeah. I guess I need to explain a few things, huh."
"I'd say so."
"Come on in and take a seat."
Jonas did so, watching as Daniel gathered up the books that had fallen and placed them on his worktable. The archeologist then settled in the chair behind his desk.
"Daniel, were you . . . moving that bookcase?" the Kelownan asked.
Daniel looked straight at him. "Yes."
"How?"
"Oh, that's a very long story. Do you have the time?"
"Well, since I definitely don't want to leave until I've heard it, I'll make the time."
Daniel gave him a short nod. Then he proceeded to tell Jonas a story that left the Kelownan reeling in shock. Sitting before him was a man who could now blow up an Al'Kesh and lift a Stargate with the power of his mind. It was unbelievable. And, on top of that, Daniel had gained the power to see the future, something with which Jonas had personal experience.
"Needless to say, it's all been a bit overwhelming," Daniel concluded.
Jonas laughed. "I bet." He glanced at the bookcase. "So, what was up with that?"
"Oh, um, something fell behind it, and I couldn't get the thing out. I didn't want to bother anyone about it, so. . . ." Daniel waved his hand.
"So, you decided to move it yourself."
"Yes. Whatever you do, don't tell Janet. She'll skin me alive. I'm not supposed to use my abilities except when absolutely necessary."
Jonas smiled. "I won't tell a soul. Do you get a headache from moving something like that?"
"No, it's not nearly heavy enough to cause a problem. Now, lifting a Stargate is another matter entirely."
"I can imagine so." Jonas paused. "So, you can see the future."
"On occasion."
"You've seen things several weeks before they happened?"
"The vision I had of Sam's death came a little over two weeks before the event took place."
"None of my visions were of things that took place more than a few hours in the future."
Daniel fell silent. "How did you react to having that kind of power?"
"Well, I was shocked at first, but then I was kind of happy about it."
Daniel's expression showed his surprise. "You were?"
"Yes. I thought that it would be a tremendous help to the SGC. I was thinking about how it could be used to help defeat the Goa'uld." Jonas studied Daniel's expression. "What about you? Are you happy about these powers?"
"No," Daniel answered.
"Why not?"
"Because it's too much. Because the thought that I could kill dozens, perhaps even hundreds of people just by willing it is absolutely horrifying. Because I'm afraid that. . . ." Daniel paused. "Well, there are lots of reasons."
Jonas pondered Daniel's words. "I didn't consider that. I suppose that, if I was in your shoes, I might feel the same, although I guess it would all depend."
"On what?"
"On whether or not I thought it was worth it. I mean, let's face it, Daniel. This power could be of tremendous use against the Goa'uld. When I developed the ability to see the future, I didn't want to lose it even though I was risking my life by not letting Doctor Fraiser operate right away. I thought it was worth the risk because of the help I could give the SGC."
Daniel thought about that. "That is a good point, and, if it was only my life that was threatened by this, I'd probably look at it that way. But this isn't about the danger to me."
"You're worried that you might hurt someone by accident?"
"Yeah. The very first time I used these abilities on a mission, I accidentally killed six Jaffa. Since then, I've learned how to control them better, but . . . I had a little accident a while back, which made it all too clear that, though I may think I have complete control, it's really just an illusion. Another accident could happen, and, next time, someone could get hurt or even killed."
Jonas thought about what Daniel was saying, and it made him realize something. If he was the one who had those abilities, he'd probably be thrilled, not because he'd delight in the power itself, but because of all the things he could do to help the SGC and fight the Goa'uld. Yes, he would be worried about accidentally hurting someone, but it would be overridden by his eagerness to use the power for good. But Daniel was different. Throughout all the years that he'd been with the SGC, the thing that mattered most to him was that the innocent be protected from harm. Jonas had seen that many times while reading past mission reports, like when Daniel risked his job and perhaps even a jail sentence to help the Tollans escape even though their technology could have been used to help fight the Goa'uld. He did it again when he returned to Shyla's planet to help the miners after his horrifying experience with sarcophagus addition. There was the time that he went up against Jack and everyone else by arguing against the trade that the SGC wanted to make with the Eurondans because he was concerned about who was on the other side of the war. And, just a few months later, he risked his life to save the Gadmeer. And Jonas would never forget the sacrifice the archeologist made for the people of Kelowna.
Now, Daniel had these incredible abilities that could be used as a powerful weapon against the Goa'uld, but the thing that was foremost in his mind was the innocent people who could accidentally be hurt by them.
This was one of the ways in which Jonas could not take Daniel's place when he had the man's position on SG-1. Daniel was a crusader for what was morally right, an advocate for all those who needed help or who could be harmed by the SGC's actions. If he had been on the team when they tangled with the human-form Replicators, he would never have allowed Fifth to be betrayed like that. Or, at the very least, he'd have fought Jack tooth and nail over it.
Looking at Daniel, the man who was both his predecessor and his successor, Jonas knew that it was time to talk about some things, stuff that he needed to say.
Jonas got to his feet, too restless now to remain seated. He wandered over to the worktable and picked up one of the books. Staring down at it, he began. "When I refused to let Doctor Fraiser remove the mass in my brain, she guessed that it was because I felt like I still needed to prove myself and my value to the program. She was partially right." Jonas' eyes met Daniel's. "For that whole year that I was here, I lived in your shadow. You were this . . . incredible legend at the SGC, the man who opened the Stargate, who was instrumental in saving not only Earth, but many other cultures and peoples. You were the guy whose brilliance was respected by virtually every scientist on base, whose courage, determination and willingness to sacrifice himself impressed even the Marines, and whose code of ethics was so strong that he'd fight anyone and everyone for what was right."
"Jonas. . . ." Daniel began.
"No. Please let me finish. In addition to that, you were the man his former teammates cared about so much that, for the entire year I was working with them, I never stopped sensing the hole that your loss made in their lives. They all loved you, and I knew that I would never mean the same thing to them."
Daniel was staring at the desktop, clearly upset.
"And I was the one responsible for them losing you," Jonas stated softly.
Daniel's head shot up. "No, Jonas. It wasn't your fault. You weren't the one who ordered that Naquadria bomb to be built."
"No, I wasn't, but I was the one who cowardly stood by and did nothing as you sacrificed your life for a planet that wasn't even yours."
"You were a scientist and a political advisor. You weren't trained to act under extreme, life-threatening situations."
Jonas shook his head. "That's no excuse, Daniel. It should have been me who went through that window and disabled the bomb, and I lived a year with that guilt as a daily part of my life."
Daniel's eyes returned to his desk, not knowing what to say.
"What you said to me on Anubis' ship was right," Jonas continued. "I joined SG-1 because I felt guilty about what happened to you, and I thought that I could make up for it by finishing your work. And that's what I attempted to do. I tried to atone for what I'd done, to continue what you started and make myself as useful as I possibly could. But I couldn't replace you, Daniel, because I'm not you. You're too . . . unique, irreplaceable. I could not be everything that you are, and I could not give to the SGC all the things that you did. That was especially true in regards to Colonel O'Neill, Sam and Teal'c. When we found you alive and human again on Vis Uban, I was so relieved. It was like this huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. From that moment, I knew that my position on SG-1 would be coming to an end, that I had been only acting as a . . . a placeholder for you."
Daniel looked up at him. "Do you regret leaving?"
"Yes, sometimes. I miss going through the Stargate."
Daniel smiled faintly. "Well, considering what you have to deal with back on Kelowna, I'm not surprised. I think I'd take life-threatening danger over one of those council meetings any day of the week."
Jonas smiled. "You're right there. Although, whatever it is that Colonel O'Neill said to them, it's made them a little bit more cooperative."
"Yeah. Let's hope it lasts." Daniel got to his feet and walked up to the Kelownan. "Jonas, I want you to know that I never blamed you for what happened. It was my choice to do what I did, and, if I had to do it all over again, I'd make the same decision."
Jonas held out his hand to Daniel, who shook it firmly. "Goodbye, Daniel. I hope that everything works out well for you."
"You, too, Jonas. And if you ever decide to come back to the SGC, I'm sure that there will be a place for you."
"Thanks."
Jonas walked out of the office with a smile on his face, happy that he'd unburdened his soul to the man to whom he would always owe a debt.
Daniel closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead tiredly. He hadn't gotten a very restful sleep last night, odd dreams about Sarah plaguing him all night. The dreams had been about when he first met her, but, strangely, he had looked like he did now, not the way he did all those years ago. His hair, his face, everything was present day. Sarah, too, looked around the age she did when Daniel saw her last, not the much younger woman she was when he first got to know her.
Daniel poured himself another cup of coffee and returned to his seat, glad that there was nothing big going on right now. Since the whole incident with Kelowna, correction, Langara, things had been pretty quiet. He had welcomed the days of peace and quiet. After everything that had been happening in his life, a bit of tranquility was just what he needed. He didn't fool himself into thinking it would last long, however. It never did.
Daniel was right in the middle of a huge yawn when Sam poked her head in.
"Ooh, looks like someone didn't get much sleep last night," she said with a smile.
"Not for lack of trying. I went to bed early enough. I've been going home every night for the past few days."
Sam came into the room. "So, what's the problem."
"Dreams."
Sam looked at him more closely. "Dreams?"
"No, not those kinds of dreams. There is nothing prophetic about these. Just the opposite, in fact. They're about something that happened in the past, about Sarah, when I was working with her back in Chicago, before the Stargate Program."
"Oh."
"But it was kind of weird."
"How so?"
"Things were all mixed up," Daniel replied. "For one thing, I looked like I do now rather than the way I did back then."
"Well, no offense, Daniel, but it's not like you don't have some issues to work out regarding her."
"Oh, yeah. I can definitely say that."
"Maybe you should talk to someone."
Daniel smiled. "I thought I was."
Sam returned the smile.
"But enough about me," Daniel said. "Tell me what's been making you so pleased these past couple of weeks or so."
"Pleased?" Sam repeated innocently.
"Yes, pleased. I've been noticing a lot more smiles lately, and you seem more cheerful."
Sam looked a bit chagrined. "I didn't realize that I'd been so transparent."
"Only to those who know you. So, what's up? I'd almost think that you got yourself a boyfriend."
Sam's smile told him that he'd just hit the mark. Sam had a boyfriend? Daniel felt something twist painfully in his chest. "You have a boyfriend?" he asked, keeping the emotion out of his voice.
"Yes, I guess I do. His name is Pete. He's a Denver cop. I met him through my brother a few days before that whole business with Kelowna got started. He's working on a case here in town right now, and we've gone on several dates. It's been great. He's a nice guy, funny, smart, fun to be with."
The pain in Daniel's chest grew steadily worse with every word Sam spoke. It took all of his self-control to keep his voice even as he said, "That's great, Sam."
"Yeah, I'd almost forgotten what it was like to actually date somebody, it's been so long. You'll have to meet him someday. I'm sure you'll like him."
"Yeah, uh . . . sure. Um, well, I . . . I need to get back to work. I haven't gotten much accomplished what with being so tired."
"Sure, okay." Sam searched his face, which was now turned away from hers. "Daniel, are you all right?"
Daniel forced a smile to his lips. "Yes, I'm fine." He got up and walked her to the door. "See you later, Sam."
"Bye."
Daniel made it back to his desk and sank into the chair. God, this hurt. Why was it hurting? Okay, so Sam had a boyfriend. He should be happy for her, delighted that she'd found someone that she liked in that way. It shouldn't feel like somebody had just sliced open his heart and poured acid into it. It shouldn't feel like something inside him had just died. If he didn't know better, he'd think that. . . .
Daniel's thoughts came to a jarring halt. No. It wasn't that. It couldn't be that. This was Sam, his teammate and best friend, the woman he had worked side by side with for most of the last seven years. He couldn't be falling in love with her. It just wasn't possible.
'Then why does the thought of her being with another man hurt so much?' his inner voice asked him.
Daniel dropped his head into his hands. This couldn't be happening. Life could not be so cruel as to finally let him feel love again only to have it be for someone he could never hope to be with like that. But Daniel knew that there was no logic in that thought. Time and time again, life had kicked him in the teeth when it came to women. Why not once more?
"Hey, Daniel. What. . . . Daniel, what's wrong?"
Daniel lifted his head to look at Jack, who had just entered the room. He quickly straightened in his chair and adopted an emotionless mask.
"Nothing. Nothing's wrong."
"Uh huh. Then why did you look like someone just gutted you?"
"It's nothing," Daniel insisted. "So, what did you want?"
Jack kept staring at Daniel for several long, uncomfortable seconds before answering. "I wanted to know what time you were planning on coming over tonight."
"Oh. Um, I'm going to pass tonight, Jack. I didn't sleep very well last night, so I'm just going to go to bed early."
"Is this something I need to know about?"
"No, I just had a restless night, lots of dreams. Ordinary dreams. No visions of the future."
"Well, that's good. I think we've all had enough of those for a while. So . . . you're sure that everything is okay?"
"Yes, Jack. Go be someone else's mother hen."
"Nobody else needs me to be their mother hen."
"So, I'm the only lucky one?" Daniel asked sarcastically.
"Yep."
"Then consider yourself chickless, Jack. This one's flying the coop."
A slight smile curved the colonel's lips. "See you later, Daniel."
Once Jack had left, Daniel dropped the calm mask he'd been wearing. He turned to the computer monitor and stared at the screensaver. Okay, he had to get past this. He needed to just forget about these feelings and not let them bother him so much. He was in love with Sam, and she had a boyfriend. He had to accept that and move on. When Sha're died, he managed to get past the grief and continue with his life. He could do it again. No problem. Piece of cake.
Daniel's head sunk back into his hands. Why wasn't he listening to himself?
Knowing that he wasn't going to be getting any work done, Daniel went to the gym. Not paying any attention to how much weight was on the barbell, Daniel reclined on the bench and grabbed hold of the bar. When he began to lift, some part of his mind registered that the barbell was extremely heavy, but he paid no attention to it. He just tried harder. He succeeded in lifting the bar off the rack and began a set of bench presses. After a while, he decided that it wasn't enough weight and slammed on two fifteen-pounders, still not paying attention to what he was doing. Five more reps and he was adding yet another thirty pounds. When ten more reps still didn't have him breaking out in a sweat, he sat up in frustration. And that's when he noticed something. Every person in the gym was gaping at him with open-mouthed surprise. Not understanding the reason, Daniel glanced at the barbell – and nearly fell off the bench. Okay, that was . . . not possible.
The part of Daniel's brain that was not reeling in shock deduced that Teal'c must have been the last person to use the barbell and had not removed the additional weight he usually put on it . . . and Daniel had just added an additional sixty pounds.
Daniel tried to figure out how on Earth he had managed to lift that much weight. He could not be that strong . . . not physically, that is. There could be only one explanation. He had just unwittingly supplemented his physical strength with his psychic abilities. That realization sent Daniel's mind spinning again. What if he was in a hand-to-hand combat workout with someone and this happened again?
Suddenly deciding that working out in the gym was not such a good idea after all, Daniel hurried to the locker room, trying to ignore the way that everyone was still staring at him. After changing back into his BDUs, he returned to his office, determined to get some work done. His determination lasted all of an hour before thoughts of Sam and how he felt about her crept back into his mind.
Lunchtime came and went before Daniel even realized it. He had been intending to go to Sam's lab after lunch to see the new project she was working on, but the thought of being with her right now was simply too painful. Not feeling the least bit hungry, he continued working, or at least attempting to, wondering how he was going to make it through the days to come.
