CHAPTER TWO
Jack rode the elevator up. He'd just come from lunch and had noticed the lack of both Daniel's and Sam's presence in the commissary. He knew that his 2IC was in the midst of some project and probably wouldn't be surfacing from her lab for a while. As for Daniel, it wasn't unusual for him to miss lunch when he was caught up in some translation, but Jack had a feeling it was something else this time. He couldn't get out of his mind the expression of anguish that had been on his friend's face this morning. He had hoped that Daniel would tell him what the problem was, but the archeologist made it pretty clear that he was not in the mood to talk.
The elevator stopped at the nineteenth floor, and the doors opened to reveal Sam waiting there.
"Colonel," she greeted.
"Carter."
Sam got on the elevator. As the doors close, she started humming. Surprised, Jack looked at her.
"Humming?"
"I am?" Sam asked in surprise.
"You are."
"Sorry."
Jack looked at her more closely. Could it be?
"Hot date tonight, Carter?"
The expression that passed over Sam's face was one of both shock and embarrassment. "Um. . . ."
"Anybody I know?" Jack asked, hoping that she'd say yes and name a certain archeologist.
"Uh, no, sir. His name's Pete Shanahan. He's a cop."
Oh, crap. This was not good. "Speeding again, are we?"
"He's from Denver. He's a friend of my brother's."
"A setup?" Maybe this wasn't serious. If her brother fixed them up, she might just be seeing the guy to make Mark happy.
"Pathetic, I know."
"So, how long has this been going on?"
"Um, I met him about three weeks ago. We've been on several dates, but it's not serious or anything, at least not yet."
"And yet it is . . . hum-worthy."
Sam was looking extremely uncomfortable.
"So, I should imagine that Daniel knows all about this," Jack remarked. Sam looked at him in puzzlement. "I mean, you guys talk about things, right?" he hastily added.
"I told him about Pete this morning."
Damn. This is really not good. Jack now knew what was causing Daniel's distress.
Just then, the elevator doors opened on the floor Jack wanted. He stepped out.
"Well . . . have a good time on your date, Carter."
"Thank you, sir."
Jack stood at the elevator for a while after the doors closed, then headed toward where he had been intending to go. He made it about halfway before turning around and going back. He took the elevator down to the eighteenth floor and went straight to Daniel's office. The archeologist was standing before his worktable, staring with unseeing eyes at an artifact, a sad look on his face. The fact that Daniel had apparently not sensed Jack's approach told the colonel how deeply mired in his thoughts the man must be.
Not wanting to startle him, Jack quietly entered the office. He was nearly to the table before Daniel became aware of his presence. Jack watched as the mask fell back into place over Daniel's features.
"Oh, um . . . I didn't notice you," Daniel said, putting the artifact down. "Sorry."
Jack perched on the edge of the table. "I bumped into Carter on the elevator."
Daniel's gaze skittered away from Jack's. "Did you?"
"Yes. She told me about this new boyfriend of hers."
"Um . . . yeah. Pete."
Jack stared at Daniel, who was being uncharacteristically fidgety. "How long have you known?" he asked quietly.
Daniel looked at him. "Known what? About Pete?"
"No. How long have you known that you're in love with Sam?"
"W-what? I-I-I'm not. . . ." Daniel stammered, his voice tripping to a halt. He looked away.
"Daniel, I may not be as smart as you, but I know enough to recognize what's going on. I've seen you when you're in love, and it's the same thing that I've seen more than once lately when you look at Carter. And, now, you look like your world is caving in, which coincides with you finding out that she has a boyfriend. So, I ask again. How long have you known?"
Daniel gave a soft, weary sigh. "About . . ." he looked at his watch, "five hours and . . . twenty-two minutes."
Jack's eyebrows rose. "What? You mean that you just figured it out?"
"Yeah, around a minute after Sam told me that she has a boyfriend."
Jack heard the pain in the younger man's voice. He stepped up to Daniel and gently took hold of his friend's shoulder. "Daniel, I'm sorry."
Daniel shook his head. "There's nothing for you to be sorry about. This is just another case of the universe having fun at my expense." He made a face and ducked his head. "God, that sounded so self-pitying."
"I've never been one who has much patience for self-pity, but if there's anyone who's got a right to feel it, it's definitely you."
"Gee, thanks, Jack. That makes me feel so much better," Daniel said, his sarcasm edged with anguish. He lifted his eyes to meet the older man's. "When is it going to end, Jack? When is my life going to stop resembling a cross between a bad science fiction novel and a Shakespearian tragedy?" He abruptly turned and walked away a few steps. "Boy, I really have got this pity party going, haven't I. Just . . . just forget I said that. I'll be all right. Everything will be all right. I'll survive." He smiled sadly. "I always do."
Jack covered the distance between them. "You shouldn't have to just survive, Daniel. You deserve a lot more than that. Does Carter know how you feel? I'm guessing that she doesn't."
"No, and she's not going to either. She doesn't feel the same, and I am not going to put a strain on our friendship by telling her."
"What if you're wrong?"
Daniel turned to him. "Wrong?"
"What if she does feel the same way about you?"
Daniel let out a short, humorless laugh. "Jack, she's got a boyfriend. Remember?"
"Yes, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything."
Daniel was starting to get angry. "Um, well, excuse me, Jack, but when I dated a girl for as long as Sam's been dating Pete, I certainly didn't do it just for the hell of it. If I didn't feel anything after the first couple of dates, I didn't take it any further. I should think that the same would be true for Sam."
"Oh, I have no doubt that she's attracted to him, but that doesn't mean that she's in love with him, and it doesn't mean that she's not in love with you."
"If I was in love with someone, I wouldn't date somebody else."
"Not even if you thought that you could never be with the person you love?"
Daniel turned away again. "No," he said in a low, pain-filled voice. "I'll never date someone else."
'Oh, Daniel,' Jack silently sighed, feeling so sad for his friend. Daniel was right. It seemed like he had been designated as the universe's whipping boy, and someone had just picked up the cat o' nine tails to get in a few more lashes.
Jack moved to stand before his friend. "Daniel, I'm just saying that you shouldn't give up hope."
Daniel shook his head. "Even if you're right, Jack, what about SG-1?"
"You're a civilian, so the rules are different. There are no regulations forbidding you and Carter to date, or even get married, for that matter. I knew a major who had a married couple working under him on the same team. As long as Carter isn't the team leader, it would be all right, though I would have to evaluate your performance on missions and make sure that your personal lives weren't affecting your ability to work together and to do what had to be done."
Daniel looked into Jack's eyes. "And what about you?"
"Well, as your C.O., I have a few concerns, but I think it could work out. As your friend and Carter's, I know it could."
"No, Jack, that's not what I meant," he said gently.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
Daniel's brilliant blue eyes pierced right into him. "Yes, Jack, you do."
Jack turned away and went over to the worktable, his hands playing with the artifact Daniel had been holding earlier.
"Did you think that I didn't know?" Daniel asked.
Jack put the artifact down. "I kind of hoped you didn't. How did you find out? The Zatarc test?"
"What? What about the Zatarc test?"
"I'm guessing that answers that question."
Daniel walked up to his friend. "I know, Jack, because I know you. You might have thought that you were hiding it from other people, but you couldn't hide it from me. I also know that Sam has feelings for you, or at least she used to. I just never said anything since I knew that you couldn't be together because of regulations, and I didn't want to make either of you feel worse by bringing up the subject. After I descended and my memories came back to me, I watched you guys, and it seemed that what I'd seen before wasn't there so much anymore, especially with you. I figured that maybe you got things straightened out during that year I was gone."
"Well, we didn't talk about it, if that's what you think. We've never talked about it. I just gradually came to the conclusion that, even if we could be together, it wouldn't work out. We're not compatible. As the years went by, my feelings for her just sort of faded." Jack looked at Daniel. "Your . . . 'death' helped that along quite a bit."
Daniel blinked in surprise. "Why?"
"Because, afterwards, I put a lid on my feelings, Daniel, just like I did after Charlie died. Oh, it wasn't nearly that bad, and I was a whole lot better at pretending that everything was fine, but I had let myself care too much about you, and losing you taught me yet again the lesson that I needed to keep myself from caring so much because it hurts too much when you lose someone who . . . who means a lot to you."
Daniel searched Jack's eyes. "Jack, I. . . ."
"No, it's okay, Daniel. I've learned a lot since then, again thanks to you. I've realized that I have to let myself care about people, even if there's a chance that I'll lose them, because life is too damn short to keep yourself locked away from feelings." He gave Daniel a little smile. "So, to answer your question, I'm okay with you and Carter being together. You'd make her happy, and I think that she'd make you happy. And when my team is happy, I'm happy." Jack's expression firmed. "Don't give up, Daniel. If you love someone, and there is even a remote chance that you can be together, you have to fight for it. Take that from someone who knows. After Charlie died, I stopped fighting. I let my marriage with Sara fall apart, and I've regretted it ever since. You understand?"
A slight nod was all the answer Jack got and probably all he would get for now. It was time to change the subject.
Jack leaned against the table and crossed his arms over his chest. "Okay, now that we've got that settled, I think it's time that we talk about something else."
"What's that?"
"Oh, the fact that you went to the gym and made Teal'c look like a ninety-eight-pound weakling."
Daniel cursed the base grapevine under his breath.
"Would you like to explain how you did that?" Jack asked.
"I was upset, and I wasn't paying any attention to what I was doing. I didn't even notice how much weight was on the barbell."
"Not even when you added sixty more pounds?"
"No. My mind was on . . . other things. The only thing I can figure out is that my abilities kicked in and . . . gave a helping hand. I'm certainly not that strong physically."
"Well, regardless, you've got the Marines in awe of you now," Jack told him. "The last I heard, they were arguing about who would win in a fight between you and Teal'c. Some figured that Teal'c's experience would win out, while others thought that your superior strength would give you the upper hand. Me personally, I think that, if you've found a way to use your abilities to increase your strength in a fight, Teal'c wouldn't stand a snowball's chance in hell. He may be a big son of a gun, but he weighs a whole lot less than a Stargate."
"Which is why I can never get into a workout with him or anyone else again. I can't take the chance that I'll hurt someone."
"Daniel, you said that you were distracted, that you weren't paying attention to what you were doing. I bet that, if you were focused on the workout, it wouldn't happen, not unless you wanted it to."
"Nevertheless, I don't think it's worth the risk," Daniel stated firmly.
"Well, as your C.O., I need to remind you that you're required to pass various fitness exams each year, including proficiency in hand-to-hand combat."
"No, I'm not, Jack, and you know it. I'm a civilian. I'm not required to pass any fitness exams except the medical ones performed by Janet. I went through those other exams because it made you happy and kept you off my back. And I learned how to fight because . . . because it was a way to deal with Sha're and everything else."
Jack sighed loudly. "Yeah, okay, so you don't have to take them. But I don't want you losing your edge, Daniel. You never know when you may be forced to get into a fight with someone. Now, I bet that Teal'c would be willing to work out with you despite this thing that happened."
"Jack—"
Jack's finger shot up. "Ah! That's my final word on the matter, Daniel."
The archeologist closed his mouth. Then he thought of something. "What about you?"
"What about me?"
"Would you be willing to work out with me considering what happened?"
"Uh . . . sure."
A faint smirk twisted the corners of Daniel's lips. "You don't sound all that certain, Jack."
Jack cleared his throat. "Sure I'm sure. Just say when, Daniel."
"Tomorrow."
"Tomorrow?"
"Tomorrow. Say two o'clock?"
"Um . . . yeah, okay. Two it is."
"All right. See you then. And if you change your mind, let me know."
Jack glared at him. "I'm not going to change my mind, Daniel. You just prepare to get your ass kicked."
As Jack walked out of Daniel's office, the thought that ran through his mind was, 'I sure hope I've still got some Bengay in my locker.'
By the time five o'clock came, Daniel was so sleepy that he decided to go on home. It wasn't like he was getting much work done anyway. Between his tiredness and thoughts about Sam, he'd been pretty useless today.
Daniel had just reached the men's locker room when Sam came out of the door to the women's locker room.
"Oh . . . um, hi, Sam," he said, suddenly feeling extremely uncomfortable.
"Hi, Daniel. I missed not seeing you this afternoon."
"You did?" Daniel asked, trying not to be too pleased that she had noticed his absence.
"Uh huh. Didn't you say that you were going to come over to my lab?"
"Um, yeah. Sorry. I got . . . caught up in some stuff. So, what is this thing you're working on?"
"It's a device that jams the frequencies the Goa'uld use in their communicators and their remote control devices, like for ring transporters. Right now, we're working on making it portable enough to take on missions."
"Wow. That sure would come in handy."
"That's what we figured. Just think about how great it would be if the next time some Goa'uld tries to escape using a ring platform, we could stop them."
"I can think of several times when that would have been a good thing."
"Exactly."
Daniel looked at the way Sam was dressed, seeing that she was in civilian clothing. "You're going home early."
"I've got a date with Pete tonight." She glanced at her watch. "In fact, I really need to get going."
"Have fun."
"I will. Bye."
Daniel watched Sam leave, then went into the locker room, trying to ignore the pain that had flared back up in his chest. For a short while, when he and Sam were talking about the device, he had almost been able to forget that he was in love with her. But then she mentioned the date with Pete, and it all came crashing back in on him. How was he going to handle it if Sam really got serious with this guy? Maybe it would be best to back away a bit, spend less time with Sam for a while. If he wasn't in her company, it wouldn't be so bad, right?
Daniel knew that he was being a coward, that he was ignoring Jack's advice to fight for Sam, but he had been hurt so many times because of women that he just didn't know if he could leave himself open to being hurt again. It would be better just to shut away that part of his heart for good.
Daniel changed into his civvies and headed for home, stopping to pick up some takeout on the way. He ate his solitary meal and watched a little TV, but gave up when he couldn't keep his attention on the program. Feeling tired again, he decided to go on to bed. He got dressed for bed and laid down on top of the covers. The weather had been unseasonably warm lately, so he'd taken to sleeping with no blankets.
Though his mind was filled with thoughts, it did not take long for Daniel's tiredness to drag him down into sleep.
Daniel bolted upright in bed, breathing heavily. He'd just had yet another dream about Sarah. It was as if his subconscious mind was replaying his entire relationship with her from the beginning. But something was wrong. Little things were different from the way it had really been, more than just his and Sarah's appearances. The portrayal of Sarah was off. In these dreams she was way too coy, and he sure didn't remember the real Sarah fawning over him quite so much.
And then there was something else, something that Daniel couldn't quite pin down. That sixth sense of his was talking to him, telling him that there was something going on, but Daniel didn't know what it was.
To top it all off, when he woke up just now, he could have sworn that there was someone in the room.
Though Daniel still felt exhausted, he decided to get up and do some things around the house for a while, then attempt to get some more sleep later. He just hoped that he wouldn't have any more dreams.
