CHAPTER THREE
With a deep sigh, Daniel entered his quarters. He'd worked later than he should have. Of course, compared to the hours he often put in at the SGC, this was nothing, yet he still felt tired. But this tiredness was not really because of the work; it was the weariness of someone whose heart was breaking. Of the days that had passed since he and Sam made love, today had been the worst yet. He'd seen her several times during the day, and she hadn't been able to look him in the eyes for more than a second. They hadn't spoken more than half a dozen words to each other.
His friendship with Sam was disintegrating, and Daniel felt helpless to stop it. He shouldn't have admitted to his feelings of desire for her. It was a mistake. Now, she was so uncomfortable around him that she couldn't even be in his company when Mitchell and Vala were present. She'd skipped breakfast entirely and had both lunch and dinner in her lab. He knew about the two latter meals because Mitchell mentioned it to him.
Speaking of the pilot, Daniel was beginning to wonder how much Mitchell had figured out. He'd caught the man looking at him strangely several times.
So what was he going to do? How was he going to fix this?
Daniel took a shower, doing not much more than standing under the spray, head bowed, trying to soak in what little physical comfort the hot water gave him. After drying off, he slipped on a pair of sweat pants and an athletic T-shirt, then walked to the bed. He sat down, back against the headboard, and picked up his personal journal and a pen.
"I don't know what to do," he wrote. "I'm losing Sam's friendship. Maybe I've already lost it. Last night, I admitted to her that I still wanted her, and, now, she can no longer even look me in the eyes. God, what have I done? I wish I could go back in time and undo that night on Atlantis, make it so that it never happened.
"And you know what's even worse? I still want her. I want to wrap her in my arms and kiss her, make love to her over and over again. I want to see pleasure on her face and know I'm the one who put it there. I want to go to sleep in her arms and wake up still there in the morning. I can't stop thinking about her like that. The dreams I've had about her are about as x-rated as they come, and the ones that don't wake me up always end the same, with Sam lying naked in my arms, smiling at me.
"But even wanting her like this, what I want more is to have Sam's friendship back. I miss it. I miss her. They say that you don't really know what you've got until it's gone. Before all this happened, I'd sort of taken Sam's friendship for granted. Now that I'm afraid it's gone, I realize how much it really means to me. I don't know what I'm going to do if I can't get it back."
Daniel closed the journal and laid it on the night stand, placing his glasses beside it. He closed his eyes tightly against the burn of tears. How many more things was he going to destroy?
A knock on his door made Daniel open his eyes with a frown. He looked at the clock. Midnight. Who would be coming to see him at this hour? Maybe there was a problem.
Daniel rose and went to the door. His breath caught sharply when he saw who it was. Sam stood before him, hair damp, dressed almost the same as him, except that her athletic tee was black and was partly hidden underneath a BDU shirt. Despite the shirt, Daniel could tell that she wasn't wearing a bra.
Before that fact could have an impact on him, Sam was pushing him inside and shutting the door. And then she was pulling his lips down to hers in a hard kiss. His mind utterly stunned by the action, his body took over and yanked her against him. With a low groan, he plunged his tongue deep into her mouth, his hands already moving across her body.
Before his brain had time to kick back in gear, Sam was walking him backwards toward the bed. They fell upon it, Sam stretched out fully on top of him. She parted her thighs and rocked her hips against his.
Daniel ripped his mouth from hers with a gasp. "Oh, God, Sam. What—"
"I want you, too, Daniel," Sam told him, her voice husky and deep, her eyes burning with desire. "And I don't care if we shouldn't do it again."
Knowing that not only had he not lost her friendship, but that she also wanted him like he wanted her, all of the reasons why this was a really, really bad idea went flying right out of Daniel's head. He bracketed her face with his hands and pulled her lips back down to his. After several seconds, Sam began struggling to get his T-shirt off. He lifted up slightly to aid in its removal. Then he grasped both her shirt and T-shirt and whipped them up over her head to go flying through the air. Her naked breasts came down upon his chest, setting him afire. As their tongues tangled in a frenzied dance, he slid his hands underneath her sweat pants to the round globes of her bottom. He went still when he discovered that she wasn't wearing any underwear. His hands tightened convulsively, making Sam moan. She grasped the waistband of his sweat pants and made the delightful discovery that, he, too, was "going commando".
Daniel lifted his hips, allowing her to remove the clothing. Then he shoved her pants down, and she kicked them off, her slip-on shoes falling off in the process.
Naked and already fully aroused, they began rubbing against each other. Sam was ready for Daniel now, but he had other ideas. He began placing hot, wet kissing down the length of her neck, one of his hands reaching between them to her breasts. His thumb went to a nipple and began stroking and teasing it, making Sam moan with pleasure. She found one of his nipples and started doing the same, her other hand descending to his erection.
With a groan, Daniel pulled Sam up and took a nipple deep into his mouth. She grabbed hold of his head and held him to her as he suckled upon her, switching from one breast to the other after several long seconds.
Suddenly, Daniel flipped them over so that he was on top. He lifted Sam with one arm and slid her the rest of the way up the bed. And then he was going down, all the way down to the aching place at the juncture of her thighs. Sam nearly screamed when his mouth descended upon her, only the realization that someone might hear it keeping her from doing so. But she could not stop the whimpers and moans as Daniel used his mouth in ways that no lover before him ever had. And when three of his fingers pressed all the way into her, she nearly levitated off the bed.
Sam began to shake, her climax rushing upon her like a swooping Death Glider. And then she was flying over the edge, mouth opened wide in a silent scream. It seemed to go on forever, filling her whole body with liquid fire.
As it finally faded, Daniel moved up her body, his mouth coming down upon hers in a deep kiss. He was getting ready to enter her when she flipped them over, reversing their positions. Three seconds later, Daniel had to bite his lip to keep from shouting out as Sam did unto him as he had done unto her. He could not stop the movement of his hips as she used her mouth and hands to drive him rapidly toward release.
He was getting dangerously close to going over the edge when he grabbed her shoulders and pulled her up, not wanting to come that way, at least not this time. He sealed his lips over Sam's as he braced his feet on the mattress and, with a sharp upward thrust of his hips and a downward push of hers, mated his body with hers. Their outcries were drowned in each other's mouths.
Sam sat up and wrapped her hands around his forearms, his hands taking a firm grasp on her hips as they began to move. There was no slow and easy start. Almost immediately, they were driving into each other forcefully, the power and rapture of their lovemaking sending them hurtling out of control. Daniel watched Sam rising and falling above him, watched their bodies coming together again and again, and, all too soon, he felt his release rushing upon him, the ecstasy too overpowering, too consuming to hold at bay. Trying to hold it off as long as possible, he brought his fingers to Sam's center in an effort to bring her with him. He'd barely touched her when her whole body went stiff, her hips jerking forward as she let out a soft, keening cry. Her climax sent him flying into the stratosphere.
Unlike their first time together, this time, Sam felt it as Daniel emptied deep inside her. Still in the midst of her orgasm, she forced her eyes open and watched him come. He was beautiful, his face open and shining with rapture, all the sorrow, anger, despair and pain wiped away.
As Daniel's climax ended, his eyes opened and met Sam's, so luminously blue that they didn't even look real. They took her breath away. And then he pulled her down and robbed her of breath with a scorching kiss. Remaining inside her, he rolled them back over, coming to rest upon her. He took her by surprise with two quick, hard thrusts. He wanted to make love to her again already, but certain inescapable facts about the male anatomy made that impossible, especially for a man his age. But he had every intention of making love to her again before this night was over. In fact, he had plans to make love to her every single night throughout the rest of the trip home and afterwards.
Daniel didn't let the reality intrude upon his mind that this thing with Sam was in danger of becoming so much more than two people bringing each other pleasure and joy amidst the horrors in their lives, filling the void of loneliness within them. He had locked up his heart and thrown away the key. He could not let himself love again, for love inevitably led to loss and pain.
Sam hummed blissfully as Daniel covered her face with slow kisses, his hips rocking slightly against hers. He was still inside her, and, though he was no longer hard, it still felt fantastic.
There was a secret fantasy Sam had that had never been fulfilled. With a little smile, she decided that now was the time for it to come true. She wrapped her legs tight around Daniel's hips and brought her mouth up to his ear.
"Stay inside me," she breathed. "I want to go to sleep with you inside me."
Surprised, Daniel stared at her. Then he smiled. He pulled her hips tight against his, then carefully rolled them over onto their sides, Sam keeping her legs wound around him, her left thigh now pressed between his waist and the mattress. Daniel reached behind him and managed to pull the bedspread over their forms, tucking it in around Sam like a cocoon.
Their bodies fully enmeshed, the lovers closed their eyes and drifted away into sleep.
Sam's eyes fluttered open to the sight of Daniel's face just inches from hers. Surprisingly, they were in virtually the same position that they'd fallen asleep in, and, even more of a delightful surprise, Daniel was still inside her. Of course, her left leg was asleep, but she didn't care, even after the pins and needles feeling began once she moved it a little.
Lifting her head, Sam peered over Daniel's shoulder to the clock. The readout told her that it was 2:30. She really should go back to her own quarters. There was no way that she could stay here all night. They had to keep this a secret, so letting someone see her coming out of Daniel's room in the morning was out of the question. As it was, she'd be taking a chance that some insomniac or a crew person coming off duty would spot her. Actually, she knew what the schedule was, so she could time her departure to avoid the latter, and it's not like she had far to walk. There was only one room between hers and Daniel's. It was a really good thing, though, that there weren't any cameras in this section of the ship, at least none that were normally turned on. And it was also a very good thing that the walls were made of heavy steel since, even though they'd both been relatively quiet, the sounds of their lovemaking would have gone right through walls of more flimsy construction.
The train of Sam's thoughts came to a screeching halt as it suddenly hit her what she'd been thinking. Throughout the years that she'd had feelings for Jack, though she'd occasionally fantasized about saying to hell with the regs and having a secret, illicit love affair with her C.O., a fantasy was all it had ever been. She'd never seriously considered it. Her career meant too much to her, not to mention the fact that she'd never have wanted to endanger Jack's career. Yet, here she was, thinking about how to assure that her affair with Daniel remained secret. True, unlike with Jack, this thing with Daniel was not against regulations, but she could still get into a lot of trouble if Landry found out that they'd been hiding it. The wisest thing to do would be for them to go to him as soon as they got back to Earth and let him know about the change in their relationship.
Wait a minute. Change in their relationship? Yes, okay, so, obviously, it was a change. If that first time had remained the only time, then there would have been no need to even think about any of this stuff. But, now that they'd made love again, everything was different. Sam wasn't stupid enough to believe that this second time would be their last. Her desire for Daniel wasn't one iota less now than it had been at fifteen minutes to midnight when – while in the midst of a shower that was supposed to be cooling her down after an intensely erotic dream about him – she quite suddenly decided to surrender to her feelings. She wanted to make love with him again . . . and again, and again.
'I'm addicted to having sex with Daniel. Never in a million years would I have imagined this happening.'
So, exactly what was their relationship now? Best friends with benefits? That could work, couldn't it? No pressure, no commitment, no declarations, just two friends finding pleasure and solace in each other's arms, making the horrors they faced in their job disappear for a short while each day, helping to heal some of the wounds and drive away the loneliness. That's all it would have to be, all it could be. It couldn't be more than that. She couldn't let it be.
"Hello there."
Daniel's sultry-toned voice pulled Sam out of her thoughts. He was smiling at her, his eyes bright and happy.
Sam returned the smile. "Hi."
Daniel's hand slowly slid down her back. "I have to say that this is a very nice position to wake up in." To add emphasis to his words, he pushed himself deeper into her. She could feel him beginning to harden inside her, and it was one of the most erotic things she had ever felt. She moaned and tightened her muscles around him, which made him groan and repeat his earlier movement. His mouth came down on hers as he started thrusting into her slowly and shallowly, very swiftly becoming fully erect.
Abandoning any thoughts of going back to her own quarters, Sam began moving with him, telling him with her movements that she wanted him to go faster. Instead of complying, however, he abruptly stopped.
"What—" Sam began to say. His finger over her mouth halted her. There was a look in his eyes that made her respiration and heart rate rise dramatically. To call it passionate was an understatement.
"There are so many ways to make love, Sam," he murmured. His voice dropped in pitch. "Tell me how you want to make love."
Sam was nearly panting now. Dare she try it? She had with both Jonas and Pete, as well as others. But this wasn't Jonas or Pete or one of her other old boyfriends. This was Daniel, who, up until nine days ago, she would have believed was the slow, gentle kind of lover who wasn't very adventurous in bed. But he'd already had sex with her against a wall and had brought her to a crashing climax with his mouth.
"Tell me, Sam," Daniel repeated gently.
Getting over her uncertainty, Sam showed him instead of telling him. She pushed the bedspread away, then turned over onto her stomach and propped one of the pillows under her hips. She heard Daniel make a sound low in his throat and turned her head to look at him. He was staring at her intensely, his eyes traveling over her body.
Without warning, he swooped down on her mouth, claiming it in a hard, hungry kiss. Then he was lying on top of her, his legs parting hers. His mouth went to the nape of her neck, his tongue sliding down the length of it, teeth nipping at the tender skin. One of his hands went underneath her to her breast, then slid slowly down to her center. He soon had Sam writhing beneath him, her back arching, hips tilting upward.
Knowing that she was ready for him and unable to wait a second longer, Daniel plunged all the way into her. Like their first two times, they made no attempt to start slowly, diving headlong into the wildly blazing heat of their passion. As Daniel thrust into her repeatedly, Sam braced her hands against the headboard, pushing back with her hips, desperately seeking something that had eluded her with every man she'd been with in the past.
They were both getting close to the edge when Daniel slid his hand back down to where they were joined and pressed his fingers hard against her, pushing her tighter against his erection, increasing the friction and force of contact.
And that's when it happened, when he hit that special spot inside Sam that no other lover had ever managed to do. A small scream leapt from her throat, and she was soaring up and away, her body jerking out of her control.
This time, Daniel did not come with her. He held it off, wanting to feel Sam's climax fully. He wished that he could see her face, witness the ecstasy there. He knew that she would be beautiful.
As Sam floated in the rapturous afterglow of her climax, Daniel began to move again, slowly this time, pulling out almost fully before sliding back in. It was a glorious feeling, to feel her body slowly take him into its heated depths. He adjusted their positions so that he could go deeper, keeping his movements slow and steady, wanting to do this forever.
Sam soon also became immersed in their first slow mating. Her body, still tingling from her previous orgasm, came alive with the sensations, and she started moving with him.
Gradually, their speed increase, each thrust deeper and more forceful. Sam was amazed to feel another orgasm coming on, having believed that she didn't have it in her for a second one. And then Daniel returned his fingers to where they'd gone before, repeating what he'd done last time, and, against all odds, he hit that spot within Sam yet again. Her body seized and clamped tight around him.
There could be no holding off Daniel's climax this time. It rushed upon him, consuming him. With a final, deep thrust he emptied into Sam, a low cry ripping from his throat as the ecstasy flooded through his whole body, setting his nerves on fire.
As their climaxes came to an end, Daniel and Sam lay shaking and gasping for air. After a few moments, Daniel weakly moved off her. He pulled the bedspread back up and gathered her close so that they were spooned together, touching from head to toe. His hands slowly stroked her as he placed light kisses across her neck and shoulders, his body gradually quieting.
"Wow," Sam breathed, which earned her a chuckle from her lover.
"I concur," he said.
"Do I even want to know where you learned to do that?"
Daniel smiled slightly. "You can thank Sarah for that one. She was a great deal more experienced than me when we met, and she was a, um . . . very dedicated teacher."
"I'll have to thank her someday."
"Oh, please don't. I'd never be able to look her in the eyes again."
Sam laughed. She turned around in Daniel's arms and studied him. "I have to admit something."
"What's that?"
"You are really taking me by surprise."
He studied her curiously. "How so?"
"I'd never have guessed that you'd be this kind of lover. I'd have thought that you'd be, well. . . ."
"The slow, gentle, missionary position sort?" he inquired.
Sam blushed. "Sorry."
Daniel smiled. "It's okay. I do love to make love slowly, and, to be honest, that is one of my favorite positions, with . . . variations."
Sam gave him an embarrassed smile. "Actually, it's also one of my favorites. I, um . . . love feeling the weight of a man on top of me. It's always been a big turn-on."
Daniel's smile turned sexy, his hand skimming down her side. "I'll remember that." The smile faded. "As for the slow and gentle part, back when I was with Sha're, that's the way it usually was, but I guess it's just been way too long since I had sex." His smile returned. "I have a whole lot of sexual energy stored up."
"Holy Hannah, do you ever!"
They both laughed. As the laughter ended, Daniel's eyes ran across Sam's face. He brushed some tendrils of hair from her cheek, noting how beautiful and happy she looked. Her body fit so perfectly against his, like two pieces in a living, breathing jigsaw puzzle, just as it had while they were making love. That's when he thought of something.
"Um . . . I know that women on SG teams are required to use birth control," he said, "and that there's no worry about STD's, but. . . ."
"Are you asking me if we should use protection?" Sam grinned. "You're a little late in asking, aren't you?"
Daniel returned the smile. "Sorry. I couldn't help myself."
Sam dropped her smile. "No, I don't think there's a need for us to use protection. As you said, pregnancy's not an issue, and we're both free of disease."
"Well, that's good because I don't have any condoms, and I'm certainly not going to ask for some from the infirmary."
Sam smiled again. "Can you imagine the look on the face of the person you asked?"
"Yeah. It would be all over the ship inside an hour."
"I bet." Sam's eyes dropped to Daniel's chest. She ran a fingertip across it. "I should go back to my quarters, before it gets too late," she said regretfully.
Daniel sighed. "Yes, I guess you should," he agreed, though he didn't want to. He didn't want her to leave. He wanted her to stay in his arms for the rest of the night, just as he'd been longing for throughout the entire week.
The little voice of warning began talking again, telling him that these feelings were far too dangerous. He really needed to take a step back.
That thought helped as he released her and watched her get out of bed. This time, he did not look away as she retrieved her clothing, and she did not feel uncomfortable about standing naked in front of him. He watched her get dressed, admiring her lithe, slender beauty.
As Sam slipped on the last article of clothing, she turned to him. "I'll see you tomorrow. Um . . . I mean later."
Daniel nodded. "Breakfast? I missed you at the meals yesterday."
Sam sighed. "I'm sorry about that, Daniel. I was avoiding you because just the sight of you was making me want you more."
Daniel smiled. "Well, that's a whole lot better reason than what I thought it was."
Sam frowned. "What did you think?"
Daniel's eyes dropped to the rumpled bedcovers. "That you were uncomfortable about me wanting you. I thought I'd ruined our friendship by telling you."
Sam stepped toward him. "Oh, Daniel. I'm so sorry. I didn't intend for you to think that. I should have explained sooner."
Daniel shook his head. "Actually, that probably wouldn't have been a good idea."
"Why not?"
"Because the second you told me that you wanted me, too, I'd have been making love with you, and that probably wouldn't have been a wise thing to do in the middle of the day."
Sam grinned. "Probably not." She came the rest of the way forward and placed a long kiss on his lips. "See you at breakfast."
She walked toward the door, but Daniel's voice stopped her. She turned to see him get out of bed and slowly walk up to her. Sam's breath caught in her throat, her eyes running hotly over his body. Though they'd made love multiple times, she hadn't yet had the opportunity to get a really good look at all of him. Now that she was, she was awed by how spectacular he was. Daniel had certainly never been skinny, but, now, he possessed a body that was strong and powerful-looking, muscular, but not too much so. No one in their right mind would ever call him a geek now. She recalled having similar thoughts after Daniel descended for the second time, and she got to see what he looked like dressed in nothing but a flag wrapped around his waist. Back then, she couldn't help but wonder what the flag was hiding. Now, she knew. Daniel was, without a doubt, very well-endowed. That she had discovered during their first time together, which had actually left her quite sore.
Daniel came all the way up to her and pulled her into his arms. His naked body pressed against her fully clothed one was enough to make Sam start reconsidering her decision to leave. His mouth came down on hers in a very long, very deep, very, very possessive kiss that had her going weak in the knees. She wound her arms around his neck and held on tight.
Finally, he ended the kiss. His lips drawing away only a fraction of an inch, he whispered, "You're coming back here tomorrow night."
Sam's lips curved upward. "I am, huh?"
"Yep, and every night for the rest of the way home." He pulled her tighter against him. "Every night. Like I told you, there are lots of different ways to make love, and I plan on us exploring several of them before we reach Earth."
Sam moaned, her body fully aroused in an instant. Damn. It was cruel of him to do this to her when she was on her way to her lonely, empty bed. How was she going to get to sleep now?
Sam decided to get a little revenge. She glided her hands down his body to his butt and gave it a squeeze, which made him gasp.
She smiled against his lips. "But what if I want you to come to my room sometimes?"
Daniel also smiled. "That would be fine by me."
Sam suddenly grew serious, her eyes meeting his. "We'd be taking a big chance, Daniel. Sooner or later, someone would be bound to see one of us entering or leaving the other's room."
Daniel shook his head. "Nope. I have a plan."
"You do?"
"Uh huh. It came to me as I watched you get dressed." He jerked his head toward something to the left. "You see that?"
Sam looked over at the wall and realized that there was a door there, partially covered by the bureau.
"I think when they first laid out these rooms they were intending to make this one and the next one over into a VIP suite or something," Daniel told her. "I'm not sure." He grinned. "That's the room that is between yours and mine, and it's empty. One of the new personnel for Atlantis was in it on the trip over."
Sam frowned. "Daniel, if you're thinking what I believe you are, it wouldn't work. We couldn't cut through that room. There's no door between it and my room."
The archeologist shook his head. "No, that's not my plan. My plan is for you to arrange it so that you get moved to that room."
"And how would I do that?"
"You're a very smart person, Sam. I'm sure you'll think of something."
The astrophysicist looked over at the door. If she was in that room, she and Daniel could move freely. They wouldn't have to worry about being seen. They could actually spend the entire night with each other without risking getting caught.
A little thrill of excitement coursed though Sam as she thought about spending every night of the remainder of the voyage with Daniel.
"I'll think of something," she said.
Daniel kissed her again, more softly this time. "See you in a few hours."
Taking a quick peek out the door to make sure no one was around, Sam slipped out of the room and hurried to her own, not relaxing until she was safely inside. After using the bathroom, she crawled into bed. It felt cold and empty. Just a few hours spent sleeping in Daniel's arms, and she wanted to be in them all night, every night. That thought scared her. This was supposed to be just best friends with benefits, not a full-blown love affair, yet here they were, planning how they could spend every night together for the rest of the way home.
If Sam was smart, she'd take a big step back and put a little distance between them, tell Daniel that it really wouldn't be a good idea, and they should just get together occasionally. But then she thought about the glory of their lovemaking, how incredibly good it felt and how wonderful it had been to wake up in his arms. During all that time she spent with Daniel tonight, not even once had she thought about the war, about all the challenges and obstacles that stood in the way of a victory that none of them were certain of achieving. Even now, thoughts of the Ori seemed distant to her, of lesser concern.
And she was no longer lonely. That ache inside her was gone.
Okay, so maybe they could be best friends with lots and lots of benefits. There weren't any rules about how many times you could make love with your best friends with benefits partner. And, dammit, it felt good. It felt really, really good. She and Daniel both deserved that, didn't they? They deserved to have something that would help them get through all the bad stuff. They deserved some joy in their lives.
Her mind made up that it really was okay, Sam closed her eyes and let sleep claim her.
