CHAPTER NINE
Sam arrived at a quarter after nine.
"Hi," Daniel greeted a little nervously. "He just got to sleep a little while ago."
Sam walked over to the bed and smiled down at Danny. "You know, I didn't say this before, but it's kind of cool seeing a living example of what you looked like as a child. You were really adorable." She turned around to see Daniel staring at the carpet, hands in his pockets. She couldn't ever remember seeing him this ill-at-ease.
Sam took a seat in a chair. After a moment, Daniel did likewise.
"I've . . . I've been thinking a lot about what happened . . . almost happened," Daniel admitted, eyes still cast downward, forearms resting in his knees.
"Me too."
Daniel finally met her eyes. "Sam, I . . . I don't know what to say. I never expected anything like that to happen, not between us."
"I know, Daniel. It shocked me, too." This time, it was Sam's gaze that dropped. "I, um . . . I think I should admit that this isn't the first time I've felt something like this toward you."
Daniel blinked in surprise. "It isn't?"
"During those first few months, I-I had sort of a. . . . God, this is embarrassing."
"It's okay, Sam."
The major looked at him. "I had a crush on you."
Daniel's eyes widened. "A c-c-crush?"
"Oh, yeah. You were this sweet, brilliant, gorgeous guy who shared my passion for work and whom I thoroughly enjoyed working with. I felt a connection with you almost right away."
"So did I," Daniel told her.
"But you were married, so I fought with my feelings and finally got over them. After that, you were just a dear friend to me. That's the way it's been ever since."
Daniel stared down at his clasped hands. "I guess if this is confession time, I should confess that this isn't the first time for me, either."
"Really?"
"When you guys first found me on Vis Uban and I looked at you, I felt something. It was even stronger in the tent, when you talked to me."
"That's why you asked if there had ever been anything between us?"
Daniel nodded. "Once my memories began returning and I remembered Sha're, I never thought about it again."
The two friends lapsed into silence.
"The smartest thing to do would be to forget about this and move on," Sam said after several long seconds.
Daniel lifted his head. "You're right."
Sam looked into her friend's eyes. "Do you think you can do that?"
"I honestly don't know, Sam. I can try. That's all I can promise."
Sam nodded. "That really would be for the best."
"Yes. Yes, it would." If that were true, why was it that Daniel felt sad? Why was there a voice inside that was crying out in denial?
They both got to their feet.
"This will be okay," Sam declared. "In a few weeks, it'll be like it never happened."
The archeologist nodded again, unable to find his voice.
Sam took a step toward the door. "Um . . . okay. I'll . . . I'll say good night, then."
Daniel would never know what insanity took possession of him, but, as Sam moved past him, he took hold of her arm and pulled her against his body. His lips came down on hers an instant later. Sam gasped sharply, her body stiffening, and then she relaxed against him, her lips becoming soft and yielding. The tenuous emotions they had been feeling blossomed into something a whole lot more solid . . . and more powerful. The kiss was electric, a slow-burning fire that threatened to ignite into an inferno. Despite the danger, neither one of them wanted to stop. Daniel's arms wrapped around Sam's waist as hers entwined about his neck. Lips parted and tongues went in search of the secret depths within each other's mouths, drawing matching moans from Daniel's and Sam's throats. Mouths opened wider as the kiss deepened even more, tongues sliding wetly against each other, mating in a slow dance of growing passion.
Daniel and Sam had no idea how much time had passed before they separated. They were both trembling inside, hearts racing.
"I-I'm sorry," Daniel whispered, releasing her and backing up half a pace. "I shouldn't have done that. For the life of me, I don't know what the hell I was thinking."
Sam swallowed to moisten her dry throat. "No. It, um . . . it's okay. We've both been through a lot of emotional stuff lately, especially you." She took a deep breath. "I'm going to go now."
"Okay."
Sam nearly ran to her lab. Once there, she shut the door, something she almost never did.
'Oh my God, oh my God!' her mind cried. 'Daniel and I just kissed! And, Holy Hannah, can that man ever kiss!' She was still shaking from the aftermath. She felt like the cells of her body were vibrating. She hadn't felt like that after a kiss since . . . since . . . since never!
Sam sat down hard on a chair. That should most definitely not have happened. When he started kissing her, she should have put a stop to it, gently pulled away and left.
Blowing up a sun was easier than that would have been.
This was really, really not good. It was a disaster on a galactic scale. Well, okay, maybe not a galactic scale, but pretty damn big. What was it with her and mega-disasters in the romance department? First, she falls for Jonas Hanson, who turns out not to be the kind of man she thought he was. Then she gets a crush on Daniel, a married man. She no sooner gets beyond that when her heart goes pitter-patter over an alien who can't stay on Earth. After that, she inherits feelings for a Tok'ra, somebody she could never be with unless she became a Tok'ra as well. And then, stupidest of all, she develops a thing for her commanding officer. She might be smart in other ways, but, in the love department, she was a complete idiot.
And, now, she was feeling things for Daniel again, her best friend and teammate, a friend who had just given her a kiss that made her body feel like it was a nuclear reactor slowly building up to an overload.
What were they going to do? What was she going to do? This couldn't possibly work out. There's no way that they could have a relationship. Not that a relationship with Daniel wouldn't be fantastic. They could be great together. They were certainly compatible. These years as friends and teammates had proven that. But it would change so many things, not the least of which would be the team dynamic. Though it wasn't technically against regulations for her and Daniel to be involved, they probably wouldn't be allowed to stay on the same team. The colonel wouldn't be happy. The general probably wouldn't either.
Sam's mind turned fully upon Jack. How would he react to this? Sam knew that, at one time, he had feelings for her, but she really didn't know how he felt now. He had given no indication that he still felt that way in a very long time.
And how did she feel about him? Oh, some of those old feelings were still there, but she'd known a long time ago that nothing could ever come of them. Thinking about it, she suddenly realized that her feelings for Jack had been a . . . a safe harbor. As long as she had those feelings for him, a man she could never have and, therefore, never lose in that way, then her heart couldn't get broken by somebody else.
But Daniel was not a safe harbor. He was a storm at sea that could sink her if she wasn't careful. No, the smartest, wisest thing they could do would be to put what happened in the past and get back to the way they were before, just good friends and teammates whose feelings for each other weren't complicated by deeper emotions.
For hours, Daniel lay in the bed, staring up at the ceiling. He'd tried to sleep, but it was useless. He couldn't stop thinking about what happened. It had been fantastic . . . and completely idiotic. He'd already mentally kicked himself a dozen times. Yet again, he'd let his emotions rule his brain and done something colossally stupid. Now, he didn't know what he was going to do. His brain was telling him that he needed to forget all about this and get things back on the old track with Sam. His heart was another matter. It wanted another kiss . . . and a whole lot more.
But that could not happen. He and Sam needed to back away from this, go back to just being friends. The emotions he'd felt when they kissed and the knowledge that he could totally lose himself in them had sent a warning screaming through his brain that this was a really bad idea. The problem was that really bad idea had felt so damn good, better than anything he'd felt in a very long time.
Daniel turned onto his stomach and buried his face in the pillow, hoping that, in the morning, he'd figure out how he was going to ignore these feelings and pretend he didn't want Sam as more than a friend.
It didn't take long for Danny to tell that something was wrong the next morning. Daniel was way too quiet and looked like something was bothering him. Danny didn't like seeing him like that.
"Did you and Sam talk last night?" he asked, thinking that maybe Sam was the problem.
"Yes, we did."
"Then what's the matter?"
Daniel sat with a deep sigh on the bed beside Danny. He rubbed his hands over his face. He was tired, having gotten no more than an hour or two of sleep. Worse than that, morning hadn't brought any solutions to the problem.
"I did something I really shouldn't have," he admitted.
"What?"
"I kissed her."
"On the mouth?"
"Oh, yeah."
"How come?"
Daniel looked at the boy. "Good question. Because, though my head was telling me I shouldn't, my heart was telling me I should, and I always had trouble listening to my head over my heart."
"Was it a bad kiss?" Danny asked innocently, thinking that maybe there could be both good and bad kisses.
"No. I almost wish it was. That would have made things so much easier. It was a really good kiss."
"Do you feel romantic love for Sam now?"
The innocent question gave Daniel pause. No, he didn't think that he was in love with Sam, but it wouldn't take much to make him fall for her. Another kiss, and he'd be a goner. It might not even take that much.
"Not . . . not yet, Danny, but I'm afraid that could happen."
"Have you ever loved somebody like that before?"
"Yes, I have. I had a wife, Danny, and I loved her very much, but she died."
Seeing the sadness in Daniel's eyes, Danny wrapped his arms around the man's waist, trying to give comfort. Daniel returned the hug, resting a cheek on the boy's head.
"I don't want you to be sad," Danny said. "Would you be happy if you didn't feel like that about Sam?"
"It's not really a case of being sad or happy, Danny. It's about what we should and shouldn't do and what would be better and easier for everyone. Loving Sam romantically is something that shouldn't happen and something that could cause all kinds of problems."
"Because you're on the same team."
"That's one of the reasons."
"Are there rules saying that you and Sam can't love each other like that?" Danny knew about rules. His mom and dad had rules about what he couldn't do, like trying to get up on top of a camel by himself.
"Uh . . . I don't think so," Daniel replied. "I'm not familiar with all the military's rules, but I don't think there are any that would forbid Sam and me getting together. If I was in the military, the answer would be yes, but I'm not. I really don't know for sure."
"If there aren't any rules, then why would it be so bad?"
Daniel sighed. "It's just so hard to explain, Danny."
Danny went silent. He thought about his mom and dad, how happy they looked sometimes when they kissed or held each other. Would Daniel and Sam look that happy if they were like his mom and dad?"
"If it wouldn't be a bad thing, and it was okay for you and Sam to love each other romantically, would it make you happy?"
Daniel thought about that question for a long time. When he replied, it was with the answer he knew in his heart was true. "Yes, it would. It would make me very happy."
"And Sam, too?"
"I don't know. I think that maybe she would be. I hope that she would be." Daniel looked at his watch. "Come on. We should go get some breakfast."
Jack and Teal'c had breakfast with the two Daniels, but Sam never showed up, which upset Danny because he thought it hurt Daniel.
"Where's Sam?" he asked.
"Probably too busy with some project to eat," Jack replied. "She does that a lot."
"Oh."
"You want me to call her and drag her butt down here?"
"Just let her work, Jack," Daniel said a bit shortly, knowing that work wasn't really the reason for Sam not showing up. "She hasn't gotten much done lately because of everything that's been going on."
The colonel studied him intently. "What's bugging you this morning, Daniel? Those are almost the first words you've spoken since we sat down."
"I'm just tired, Jack. I didn't get very much sleep last night."
"Working most of the night? You're supposed to be on leave, you know."
The easiest thing would be to lie, but Daniel wouldn't do that in Danny's presence. "No, I was . . . thinking."
"Thinking? Another thing you do way too much of, as far as I'm concerned. Thinking about what?"
"About something that's private, Jack."
The sharp edge to Daniel's voice surprised the colonel. Okay, apparently, this was something Daniel didn't want to talk about.
"Okay. Sorry. I didn't mean to pry."
Daniel sighed. He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes, which were a little bloodshot. Jack hadn't noticed that before, being too focused on Danny. Now that he was really looking, he could see that Daniel did appear tired.
"Hey, how about if I take the munchkin today?" Jack asked. "The two of us can go up top, toss around a frisbee for a while, maybe do a little exploring in the woods." He looked at Danny. "How would you like me to teach you backwoods survival techniques, like how to make a shelter from tree branches, stuff like that?"
Danny nodded, thinking that sounded like fun. "Then Daniel can go take a nap."
"That's exactly what I was thinking."
"Jack, you must have work to do," Daniel said. "I may be on leave, but you're not."
"Nothin' that can't wait till later or even till tomorrow, for that matter."
Daniel knew that he should say no, but he really was tired, and he had a headache, too. Some sleep would do him good.
"All right. I guess I could use a nap."
"Good." Jack turned to Teal'c. "You wanna join us? You could teach Danny how to track wild animals."
"I would be pleased to join you, O'Neill."
After finishing his breakfast, Daniel returned to his quarters. He hadn't taken a shower this morning because he woke up only a few minutes before Danny did and ended up getting into that conversation with him. He decided to take one now, hoping to ease the tightness in his neck muscles.
Daniel spent a long time under the hot spray. He came out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist and sat on the bed with a weary sigh. That's when his tiredness hit him full-force. He laid down, thinking that he'd close his eyes for just a moment before getting up to put on some clothes. That was the last thought he had before sleep took him.
Sam took the elevator down to Level 25. She wasn't sure that Daniel and Danny were there, but she wanted to check.
She'd been a coward this morning, not having the courage to face Daniel, and, now, she felt guilty. She was still afraid to face him, but she wanted to say good morning to Danny and to let Daniel know that she wasn't avoiding him because she was angry.
Sam knocked softly on the door of Daniel's quarters, but got no answer. Thinking that Daniel might be in the bathroom, she tried the doorknob and found it to be unlocked.
"Knock, knock," she said as she cracked the door open. "Is anybody he. . . . Ohhh . . . my."
The last two words were uttered in a breathy whisper as she got a look at what was on the bed. Daniel was sleeping on his stomach on top of the covers, his arms hugging a pillow, dressed in nothing but a little towel around his hips. One of his legs was hiked up, causing the towel to stretch tightly. That towel had slipped downward and was only just barely covering him. If he moved, it would very likely come untied and fall off.
Sam's brain was telling her that she should walk right back out and leave. She paid no attention to it. Closing the door, she took a step further in, letting her eyes drink in the sight of the sleeping man. It's not like she hadn't seen him half-naked before. There had been a couple of times when she caught him in just his boxers, which had always embarrassed him. And, yes, she'd noticed how well-built he was. But this was the first time she'd seen him quite this exposed, and it was the first time she'd seen anywhere near this much of his naked flesh since he descended.
Daniel had been working out a lot since returning, as if he was trying to make his human body as strong as it could be. And, oh boy, had it ever worked. His strong back and broad, muscular shoulders made Sam's temperature rise. She couldn't see his chest, but knew that it would be broad and well-defined. Sam's gaze traveled down the smooth, unblemished skin of his back to what the towel was hiding. She was checking out Daniel's butt. She was actually standing here, checking out her best friend's ass. And she really liked what she could see. She was sorely tempted to pull off that towel and get an eyeful of what was underneath.
Even as she thought that, Daniel shifted in his sleep, and the towel slipped lower, giving her a tantalizing glimpse of what she'd been thinking about. If he turned over right now. . . .
Sam's temperate had now risen to a fever. She had this irrational desire to strip off her clothes, march over to the bed, rip that damn towel off of Daniel and make half-crazed love with him.
It was that desire that made Sam realize she needed to get out of there right now. She turned and escaped the room, shutting the door with a trembling hand. She made her way to the nearest women's restroom and splashed cold water on her face.
Whoa. That had been . . . intense. She was no innocent and had experience sexual desire before, but seldom had it hit her that hard.
This was insane. A mere week and a half ago, Daniel was her friend and teammate, plain and simple. Now, he was a man that she was fantasizing about. Worse than that, he was a man she was experiencing emotions for that were even more dangerous than sexual attraction. If she wasn't really careful, she could fall head over heals in love with him. And wouldn't that mess everything up royally.
Sam left the bathroom and returned to her lab, vowing that, one way or another, she was going to drive these thoughts about Daniel out of her head.
Jack, Danny and Teal'c were presently on the trail of a deer, which Teal'c had surmised was a buck. They crept through the forest, Danny doing a surprisingly good job of moving silently.
Teal'c abruptly held out a hand, halting the others. Making a motion to be silent, he inched forward, followed by Danny and Jack. They crouched behind some brush and looked out into a small clearing. The buck was there in the distance, its velvet-incased antlers bobbing slightly as it grazed. It lifted its head to peer in their direction for a few seconds, then returned to eating.
Jack looked down at the little boy and saw him staring at the deer in childish delight.
"In a few more months, that buck will probably have quite an impressive rack on him," he whispered close to the child's ear.
"Rack?" Danny inquired, also whispering.
"Antlers. The bucks lose their antlers in the winter, after the breeding season, then start growing them back in the spring. By fall, he'll have rubbed that fuzzy stuff off, and they'll be big and sharp. That's the difference between antlers and horns. Horns never fall off."
"The oryx have horns," Danny said. "Some people think that the legend of the unicorn came from them."
"Really?"
"Uh huh, because, when you look at them sideways, it looks like they have only one horn."
Jack smiled down at him. Just eight years old, and the kid was already becoming a fountain of information on mythology.
Something startled the buck, and it bounded away. The three observers rose to their feet.
"Wasn't that fun?" Jack asked.
Danny nodded, smiling.
They began retracing their steps.
"Uncle Jack?" Danny inquired.
"Hmm?"
"Are you, Daniel, Sam, and Teal'c allowed to love people romantically?"
Surprised by the question, Jack replied, "Sure. Of course we are."
"With each other?"
That made Jack come to a sudden halt. He stared down at Danny. "Why on Earth would you ask that?"
Danny's gaze went to the ground. "Can't tell you. It's a secret."
Jack's eyebrows rose. "A secret, huh? Well, to answer your question, Daniel, Sam, Teal'c and I are teammates, and, like with all military teams, there are rules about that sort of thing. Like, for instance, I'm not allowed to date pretty much anybody on base who is in the military."
"How come?"
"It has to do with a thing called chain of command. General Hammond is the boss of everyone on the base. Because we're all under his command, none of the military people on the base can date each other or get married with each other."
"Because he won't like it?"
"No, because it's the rules, ones that were made by other people."
"That's dumb."
Jack smiled slightly. "Well, the people had good reasons for making the rules."
"But what about people there who aren't in the military, like Daniel?"
"Ah, well, the rules are different for them. If Daniel or one of the other civilians wanted to date somebody on the base, there wouldn't be any rules to prevent it."
Danny smiled. "There wouldn't?"
"Nope. They could even date the military personnel, although there are some higher-ups who wouldn't be crazy about it. So, why are you asking this." Jack grinned. "You trying to find a girl for Daniel? Good luck if you are."
Danny was looking at the ground again. "I can't tell you."
"Oh. That's right. You said it was a secret."
The boy nodded.
"Okay."
They resumed walking. About a minute had passed when Danny spoke again.
"If somebody thinks they shouldn't do something, but somebody else thinks they should and that it will make the other somebody happy, what should they do?"
Jack's curiosity went up another notch. "Hmm. That's a really tough question, Danny. I guess it all depends on what you're talking about. Usually, it's best just to let the other person make their own decision."
"But what if it doesn't make them happy?"
The colonel looked down at the little boy. "Danny, sometimes, we have to make decisions that don't make us happy because it's the best thing to do."
Danny was frowning, clearly not pleased with the answer.
Jack chucked him under the chin. "Come on. No more talk like that. Let's go find some bugs we can eat."
"Ewww!" Danny exclaimed.
When Daniel awoke after a four-hour nap, he found the towel halfway off and not doing a whole lot to cover him. Thankful that Jack hadn't brought Danny back to the room, he got dressed.
Daniel was in the commissary with lunch and a cup of coffee when Jack, Teal'c and Danny came in. Seeing him, they went straight to his table.
"Hey, look who's awake," Jack said. "You're looking better, not so ragged around the edges. I'm guessing you got some sleep."
"Yes, I did. So, did you guys have fun frolicking in the woods?"
"I do not frolic," Teal'c replied haughtily.
"Neither do colonels," Jack added.
"Sorry," Daniel apologized.
"But, yes, we did have fun. We'd still be out there if Danny hadn't gotten hungry. He didn't want to eat the bugs."
Daniel's eyebrows rose. "Bugs?"
"Uncle Jack said that if you're lost in the woods and have no food, you can eat bugs to keep you alive." Danny made a face. "I'd rather have waffles."
"Waffles definitely do sound better than bugs," Daniel agreed.
Daniel's teammates and the boy got their lunch and sat at the table with him.
"Still no Carter?" Jack asked.
"She may have already eaten," Daniel replied. The question had dimmed his mood. He knew that Sam was avoiding him because of what happened, and it hurt. They'd always been so close, and, now, he felt like that was being ruined by his stupidity.
The archeologist resumed eating with an effort, listening to Danny talk about tracking a deer and the other things he had done with Jack and Teal'c.
"Hey. Is this seat taken?"
Daniel's head shot up from the contemplation of his food. Sam was standing beside the table, holding a tray. For a moment, their eyes met.
"Nope. It's all yours, Carter," Jack replied. "I was beginning to think we weren't going to see you today."
"Sorry, sir." Sam took a seat on the other side of Danny, which positioned the boy between her and Daniel.
"You weren't at breakfast," Danny said disapprovingly.
"I know. I was busy with things. I'm sorry. I'll try not to miss breakfast tomorrow." She glanced at Daniel, then began eating her lunch.
"Why don't you tell Sam what you did today?" Jack suggested to Danny.
The boy eagerly launched into a repeat of the day's adventures.
"Bugs? He wanted you to eat bugs?" Sam said. "Gross."
"Uh huh. Then he pretended to eat one."
"Pretended!" Jack exclaimed. "Who says I was pretending?"
"You were too pretending!" Danny insisted. "You had the bug hiding in your hand."
The colonel stared at the boy. "Just like Daniel. I can't slip anything by him." He sighed theatrically. "Okay, so I was pretending."
Danny smiled smugly and went back to his food. He started making a circle with his French fries. Then he made another circle inside the first.
"What's that?" Sam asked him.
"A Stargate."
Every adult at the table stiffened and looked at each other.
"Where did you hear about the Stargate, Danny?" Daniel asked, keeping his voice level.
The boy shrugged. "I don't know. From someplace. What is a Stargate?"
Every one of Daniel's teammates looked to him to answer the question.
"It's . . . it's something that was found on the Giza Plateau back in 1928," he replied truthfully.
"Why is it called that?"
"Uh, because it's a gate, and it has pictures of star constellations on it." Okay, so that was only partially a lie. It was a gate and it did have star constellations on it. That just wasn't the reason why was called a Stargate.
"Like the Big Dipper and Little Dipper?"
"Actually, those are only parts of the constellations of Ursa Major and Ursa Minor," Sam corrected, hoping to distract the boy from his questions about the Stargate. "Maybe we can go outside tonight, and I can tell you the names of the different constellations."
Danny smiled. "That would be fun."
Danny's knowledge of the Stargate succeeded in completely taking Daniel's mind off the issue between him and Sam. He was positive that the boy had gained that knowledge from his mind.
With a sinking heart, Daniel realized something else. They no longer had the option of waiting to tell Danny about the program and the truth about himself. Regardless of whether or not he was ready, he would have to be told now.
