CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Jack decided to postpone the debriefing until the morning, after they'd all gotten some rest. He ordered everyone to go home and get a good night's sleep.
That night, Sam and Daniel did not make love at first. Instead, Daniel established the link, and they spent a long time just touching and kissing, filling the places in their hearts that had been empty while they were apart. For nearly two hours they did this, until at last, their touching turned into slow, gentle lovemaking.
They were now wrapped tightly in each other's arms. Sam's head was on Daniel's chest, and she was listening to his heartbeat.
"I was so scared," she said after a while. "I kept trying to tell myself that you were alive, but I was so afraid that you weren't."
Daniel pulled her even tighter against him. "I know. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that, Sam. I'd have made it to the bunker sooner if I hadn't been injured in the attack. It took a few days for me to regain enough strength to heal myself."
"Where were you during that time?"
"In a house several miles outside the city. Leda, Jared Kane's wife, was taking care of me."
"Oh, so that's who Leda is."
Daniel smiled, looking down at her. "Do I detect a hint of jealousy?"
"Nope," Sam replied, smiling.
Daniel lifted an eyebrow. "No?"
"Uh uh. I know that I have absolutely no reason to be jealous, even if she was drop dead gorgeous."
Daniel pulled her closer. "You're absolutely right. You will never have a reason to be jealous over another woman. There's room in my heart for only one woman." He kissed Sam gently.
"I should hope so," she responded. She then snuggled back into him. It wasn't long afterward that they both fell into a contented sleep.
The debriefing was held at eight the next morning. Daniel started off by filling the others in on what took place before his last check-in.
"So, you did try to see what was going on," Sam said after he told them about his first attempt to use his precognitive abilities.
Daniel nodded. "But all I saw was fighting between the military and rebels. There wasn't anything warning me of the impending disaster. But then, on the way back from my last check-in, my sixth sense went off like crazy. I tried again to find out what was wrong, and that's when I saw the cities being destroyed, millions killed. I tried to warn Gareth, but he wouldn't listen to me." Daniel halted, getting upset. He still felt like he'd failed the people of Tegalus, that he should have been able to find a way to stop what happened.
Daniel felt Sam lay a hand over his, but he did not look at her, keeping his gaze on the table. "I tried a second time to find out more information, and I saw Soren's troops seize control of one of the missile control facilities. That's when I found out what was going to trigger the war. I tried to make Gareth and Kane believe me. I even told them the truth about my abilities, but they wouldn't listen."
"Daniel, that wasn't your fault," Jack said, seeing how upset his friend was. "You can't make someone believe you if they refuse to."
"If I had just known which facility the rebels were going to take over, I could have stopped them myself," Daniel said, not acknowledging Jack's statement.
"Daniel, you can't expect yourself to see everything, to know everything," Sam told him. "That's not being fair to yourself."
"Carter's right," Jack said. "You may have these abilities, but they're not always going to be able to fix things."
"As you have said yourself many times, you are not a god, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c stated.
Daniel sighed. "I know. I know that I'm not always going to be able to fix things or prevent something from happening. I just can't help but think that I could have done something this time. So many people died."
"Daniel, listen to me," Jack said firmly. "I know that you wish you could have stopped it from happening. I know it's tearing you apart that you weren't able to, but what could you have done? What did you not do that you could have?"
It was a few seconds before Daniel replied. "I don't know."
"Because there was nothing else you could have done. You did everything in your power to stop it. It just didn't work. You have to accept that and live with it, because, if you don't, this thing is going to haunt you for the rest of your life."
"Not every battle can be won, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c told him gently.
All at once, some of the last words General Hammond said to him came into Daniel's mind.
"Your abilities have given us many victories that otherwise may have been denied us, yet there may come a day when even your power cannot prevent tragedy. If that day ever comes, do not let it discourage you or make you doubt your capabilities. There is not another soul on this planet nor, most likely, any other who could have done a finer job of using those abilities the way they should be."
Daniel realized that those words had turned out to be prophetic. He had been unable to prevent a tragedy, and, now, he was doubting himself, questioning his abilities. So many times, he had been able to completely avert a tragic event or, at the very least, lessen its impact with his abilities. This time, he couldn't. There would probably be other times when he'd fail again.
"The success or failure of your deeds does not add up to the sum of your life. Your spirit cannot be weighed. Judge yourself by the intention of your actions and by the strength with which you faced the challenges that have stood in your way."
The words of Oma Desala came to Daniel like she was standing right there in the room. When she said those words to him over two years ago, Daniel had felt like any good he might have done hadn't been enough, that he hadn't made a big enough difference. Did he still feel that way? No. No, he didn't. He recognized that he had accomplished a lot of good things in his life. And, if, sometimes, he failed, like he had this time, at least he had tried as hard as he could.
"Daniel?" Sam inquired softly. He had been quiet for quite some time.
"I was just remembering the words of two very wise people," Daniel said.
"And what did those very wise people say?" Jack asked.
"That I shouldn't judge myself by my failures nor even by my successes, that what's important is that I have always tried to do what was right and have used my abilities the best that I could."
Sam's hand tightened around his as she smiled at him.
"No truer words could be spoken," Jack said. "Are you ready to go on?"
"Yeah."
Daniel continued his recount of the events on Rand. Jack, of course, wasn't happy when he found out that Daniel had been seriously injured in the attack and had failed to say anything about it before now.
"I healed myself, Jack," the archeologist responded. "I saw no reason to mention it before now."
"And you're absolutely sure you healed everything?"
"Yes, Jack. I'm all better now."
Sam hid a smile at Daniel's tone, which was like that of a man talking to a very young child.
Jack ignored the tone and told him to continue. When Daniel got up to the point in the narrative where he contacted Sam, the lieutenant colonel and Teal'c began adding their account of events.
Finally, they reached the moment when the forces from Earth arrived. Jack knew the rest of the story.
"Well, I have to say that those were twelve days I wouldn't want to repeat," Jack remarked.
"You can say that again," Daniel responded.
"I don't want to think about how this would have turned out if Daniel didn't have his psychic abilities," Sam said. "He probably wouldn't have been able to make it to the bunker. He could have been trapped on that planet for several weeks or even months, even if we had convinced Soren to let us search for him, which I'm seriously doubting now." Sam didn't add that Daniel might have been trapped there for the rest of his life, a life that would probably not have been a long one. He'd never have been able to live under Soren's rule, and he wouldn't have stopped trying to get home.
"There's no point in dwelling on what didn't happen, Carter," Jack told her. "Daniel's back with us with another exciting chapter added to his life."
"Yes. Such a shame I can't write an autobiography. Probably be a bestseller," Daniel remarked sarcastically.
"Heck, I'd buy it," Jack said with a little smirk, "and I wouldn't even wait for the paperback."
"Gee, thanks, Jack."
Though Jack offered to give Daniel some time off after his written report was turned in, the archeologist wanted to get right back to work. There was certainly plenty of it to do. Once the report was out of the way, he dug right into it, managing to get quite a bit done that day and the next two, despite the fact that a lot of people visited him to let him know that they were glad he'd made it back.
When Daniel came into work Friday morning, he was called to Jack's office. When he got there, he found Sam there as well.
"What's up?" the archeologist asked as he sat down.
"I figured it was about time that we talked about the status of SG-1," Jack replied.
"Shouldn't Teal'c be here?"
"Not for this conversation."
Daniel and Sam looked at each other, guessing what this was about.
"Is it about our relationship, sir?" Sam asked.
"Yes, it is. As I'm sure you've already guessed, now that you are the leader of SG-1, the two of you being involved is a big problem since, quoting regulations, it could adversely affect discipline and respect for authority within the team. Of course, since Daniel never had all that much respect for authority on the team anyway, nothing much would be different in that regard, but the brass don't look at it that way. Up until now, the relationship that you two have has been kept under the radar of everyone who isn't in the SGC. That's not possible anymore."
"The president knows," Daniel said.
Jack looked at him in surprise. "He does?"
"Yes, sir," Sam confirmed. "He, um, caught us kissing while we were at Camp David."
"And he didn't say anything?"
"No, not a word."
"Huh. Well, that's good to know."
"So, what does this mean, sir?"
"Well, the most obvious solutions are to put someone on the team who would take over command or to transfer Daniel off the team. There are some people who are still eager to see Daniel command a team of his own."
"Sir, if I have to choose between relinquishing command of SG-1 or losing Daniel from the team, I'd rather give up command," Sam stated with conviction.
"That's what I figured you'd say."
"So, who would take over command?" Daniel asked. He was torn about what he'd rather see happen. He still didn't want a team of his own and would miss being on SG-1, but he hated to see Sam lose command.
"That I don't know. I've already been talking to people. It all got put on hold when you disappeared on Tegalus, but, before then, things got rather . . . heated. The brass was not happy that they'd been kept in the dark about your relationship. I was able to point out one thing, though. You two have been involved for nearly four months now, and it has not adversely affected the team at all. I made sure the brass was clear on that, and Hammond told them the same thing. I also let them know that, since Carter took command, there have been zero problems regarding your relationship affecting the operation of the team. As far as Hammond and I are concerned, there will not be any problems regarding discipline or respect for authority within SG-1."
"Sir, may I say something?" Sam asked.
"Of course, Carter."
"I'm sure you already know this, but when it comes to discipline and authority on SG-1, there really isn't any, not between Daniel, Teal'c and myself. There never has been. We don't have a hierarchal relationship, not even on missions. There really is no chain of command among us, not even now that I'm the team leader. Daniel is a civilian and Teal'c is an alien, and we each have our specialties and particular skills and knowledge. The three of us work more like equal partners than superior and subordinates. Sure, I'm the one who makes the final decisions now, but what we really have is a democracy. When a mission relies mostly on Daniel's skills and knowledge, he'd be the one to take the lead. The same thing would be true for Teal'c. I really think that could work well for us." Realizing what that might sound like, she hastily added, "Not that the team didn't work well with you as the leader, sir. That's definitely not true. I just mean—" She broke off as Jack held up his hand.
"I know what you mean, Carter, and I agree. My status as team leader was often tenuous as best. I always knew that if Teal'c wanted to defy my orders and go do whatever he pleased, I couldn't stop him. That's exactly what he did a couple of times. As for Daniel, we're all well aware of how often he paid no attention to who was boss. Yet, despite that, SG-1 is the best damn team in the SGC. It has successfully completed more missions than any other and never lost a team member . . . well, not permanently. I already brought up a lot of these points to the people I talked to."
"And what did they say?" Daniel asked.
"The jury's still out. Some agreed that, so far, your relationship doesn't seem to have affected the team's effectiveness, but they have reservations about the leader of SG-1 being romantically involved with a teammate. Others are against it, plain and simple. Now that I know the president seems to have no problem with your relationship, I'll give him a call and talk to him about this whole thing. If he agrees to give you a special dispensation, then the problem will be solved."
"And in the meantime?" Sam questioned.
"In the meantime, it's business as usual. I have not received any official orders to put an end to this, so, until I do, SG-1 will stay just like it is."
"A three-man team?"
"Since we don't know yet what position a fourth team member would be placed in, yes."
Sam shrugged. "Well, there aren't any rules that say an SG team has to have at least four people."
"Which makes it so much easier. I've already got enough decisions to deal with. As soon as I know anything for sure, I'll let you know."
The week that followed was rather tense for Daniel and Sam, who were both worried about what the brass would decide regarding their relationship and the team. Jack gave no clue on how things were going, telling them that he'd fill them in once everything was decided.
On the morning of the following Friday, the general called them into his office. The couple nervously took seats.
"Okay, I know that you two have been worrying about this, so I'll cut right to the chase. Based on how well you've handled your relationship and being on the same team so far, the president has agreed to give you a special dispensation."
Sam and Daniel smiled in relief.
"We can both stay on SG-1?" Sam asked.
"And Sam can keep her position as team leader?" asked Daniel.
"Yes to both questions. However, if this ever becomes a problem, Daniel will have to transfer off SG-1. That's the deal."
"There won't be a problem," the two scientists said at the same time.
"I hope that's true."
"So, now that this is settled, what about a fourth team member?" Daniel questioned.
"Well, as Carter pointed out, there are no rules that say an SG team has to have four people, so, as far as I'm concerned, things can stay as they are, unless Carter wants to add another member." He looked at SG-1's leader. "It's up to you, Carter. It's your team now."
"For right now, sir, we can operate as a three-man team, but I will start going through personnel files to see if I find someone I think will fit well with the team."
"A word of advice. Pick somebody who's in the military so you at least have one person on your team that has to follow your orders."
Sam smiled. "I'll keep that in mind, sir."
Just then, Daniel noticed a file on Jack's desk with the words "Atlantis Project" written on the tab. "I'm assuming that there was no word from Atlantis while I was gone," he said.
"No, not a peep," Jack confirmed. "Obviously, you were right about them not having a ZPM, and they apparently haven't gotten their hands on one."
"I hope they're okay," Sam said.
"Me too," Daniel responded. "I keep worrying that Major Sheppard didn't prevent what I saw in that vision."
"Sir, do you think that we'd be allowed to take Osiris' Al'Kesh to the Pegasus galaxy? With its modified engines, it wouldn't take long to get there."
"Believe it or not, Carter, I actually already thought of that," Jack told her. "Our conversation about taking it to Tegalus to search for Daniel made me think about it. I discussed it with a few people."
"You were considering using the Al'Kesh to come find me?" Daniel questioned. "I thought about that myself."
Jack and Sam looked at each other. They'd hoped that this wouldn't be brought up.
"Um . . . yeah, we made the request," Sam said.
Daniel gave a single nod. "They said no."
"Not 'no', Daniel," Jack hastily corrected. "We were just told to wait. The second time we asked Soren if we could come to the planet to search for you, he said to call back in four days. That's when we asked if we could use the Al'Kesh. We were told to give the man the four days. If Soren still hadn't been willing to play ball, we'd have had that Al'Kesh en route to Tegalus before the day was out."
"Makes sense. After all, the odds of me being alive were pretty slim. Risking the Al'Kesh to go search for a man who was very likely dead wouldn't make much sense."
"Hey. We don't give up on people that easily," Jack stated firmly. "Besides, when it comes to you, 'presumed dead' is a stupid error in judgment on anyone's part."
"All the same, I don't blame them for their decision."
'Of course you don't,' was the thought that came to Jack's mind. 'The rest of us will just have to be mad for you.'
"Back to the question about Atlantis, what did they say about using the Al'Kesh?" Daniel asked.
"They're worried about what would happen if the vision you had came true. If the entire galaxy is now being overrun with Wraith, one lone Al'Kesh wouldn't stand a chance if it tangled with a bunch of those guys. We really don't know what the level of their technology is, so it's impossible to say if they could detect a cloaked ship. There is the concern that if the Wraith got hold of the Al'Kesh, it would give them a way to get here to our galaxy. And it's not like we could really do anything to help the people on Atlantis anyway, not with one little ship. By what your vision showed, we already know that the team didn't meet with complete disaster in the city, so the odds are good that they're still okay."
"So, they said no."
"Yep, pretty much."
"You know, it's really too bad that we don't still have that power generator that you built when you had the knowledge of the Ancients," Sam said to her C.O. "There's a chance that I could have gotten it to work again, and we could have used it to dial Atlantis."
"Yeah, that's definitely out of our reach, being in another universe and all." Jack looked at Daniel and noticed that the man had a vacant expression. "Daniel? Yoohoo. You still here?"
Not replying, the archeologist abruptly got to his feet and left the room.
Jack blinked and looked at Sam. "Was it something I said?"
He and Sam got up and followed Daniel out. They missed the elevator he got on, so had to wait for it to come back down. Guessing that the man had gone to his office, they went there. When they got there, they found him rapidly drawing something on a sketch pad.
"Daniel?" Sam inquired, looking at what he was drawing. It appeared to be some kind of schematic, but of what she didn't know.
"What is that?" Jack asked her.
"I don't know, sir."
Finally, the archeologist's drawing ceased, and he just stood staring at the paper.
"Uh . . . Daniel?" Jack queried tentatively.
Daniel blinked, then looked at them. "Oh. Sorry. It's, um . . . it's the power generator."
"What?" Sam stared at the drawing. Now that she was really looking at it, it did look somewhat familiar.
"You mean it just popped into your head?" Jack asked.
"Yeah. It was the weirdest thing. You guys were talking about it, and, suddenly, it was just there."
"Okay." There was a pause. "Honkin' big Ancient space gun," Jack then said slowly and distinctly. He looked at Daniel's expression. "Nothing coming to you?"
"Nope. Sorry."
"Dang."
Sam was too busy studying the schematic to pay attention to them. "If this really is the power booster, we might be able to build one. We already know that the one Colonel O'Neill built was powered by the liquid Naquadah from a staff weapon." She turned to Daniel. "Do you think that you could actually put one of these together?"
"Yes, I think so. The image is still strong in my mind."
Sam's expression of excitement abruptly changed. "Oh no. What if this means that the Ancient knowledge is leaking back into your conscious mind?"
Daniel shook his head. "No, I really don't think it's that. Remember how I suddenly knew that thing you and McKay were arguing about was a power regulator? I think this is something like that. Like I said then, every once in a while, something from that knowledge pops into my head. Up till now, it's pretty much been stuff like remembering some fact about a planet or a bit of historical information. One time, this totally incomprehensible equation jumped into my head."
Sam's face brightened. "Really? What was it?"
"I don't remember it now."
"Too bad."
"Okay, let me get this straight," Jack interrupted. "Are you saying that you can build this thing?"
Daniel nodded. "Yes, I think so."
"Sweet."
"We should get started right away," Sam said, picking up the schematic. "We don't want to take the chance that you'll forget."
Before Jack could say anything, they were gone.
"Yes, Carter," he said to the empty room. "You have my permission to go do that. What? Oh, you're very welcome. Think nothing of it."
One-sided conversation finished, Jack left the room to return to his office.
For the rest of that day and into the next, Daniel and Sam worked together on the device. Because Daniel's brain wasn't scrambled by the Ancient knowledge and they didn't rush through its construction, what was created had a more finished appearance than the original Jack had built.
The two scientists stared at the completed device. All that remained was to place the liquid Naquadah in it.
Jack came in. "So, is it done?"
"All except for the liquid Naquadah, sir," Sam replied.
Jack studied the thing. "Doesn't really look like the one I made."
"Well, sir, yours was thrown together pretty quickly with a lot of odds and ends. We took a lot more time with this one."
"And you're sure it's going to work?"
"Pretty sure," Daniel replied.
"Okay, then go ahead and put the Naquadah in, and let's see what happens."
The liquid Naquadah chamber from a staff weapon was carefully removed and placed inside the device. The power button was then pressed, and the device turned on. They all stared at the softly humming object. Sam ran a scanner over it, smiling.
"I'm getting substantial power readings. It's working."
"Then we can dial Atlantis," Daniel said.
Sam turned the device off. "Well, we still don't know for sure if it will work like the other one, but, if it does, then, yes, it will allow us to connect to a gate in another galaxy."
"All right, then I've got a phone call to make," Jack said.
The result of the phone call, which had been to the president, was that they had a green light to attempt to contact Atlantis. Sam decided that, to be on the safe side, she should run a few tests first, so the attempt to contact Atlantis was scheduled for tomorrow morning.
When morning arrived, everyone stood in the control room with excited anticipation, except for Sam, who was with Siler, hooking up the device. The moment it was hooked up, she called to let the control room know that everything looked good, and they could try dialing the gate.
"Walter, dial Atlantis," Jack commanded.
"Yes, sir."
As each chevron engaged, the tension level increased, until, at last, the eighth and final chevron locked, and the Stargate burst to life with a cheer from everyone.
A galaxy away, in the Ancient city of Atlantis, Doctor Elizabeth Weir and Major John Sheppard watched the chevrons light up, wondering where the wormhole was coming from. The moment the wormhole established, the protective force field that served the same purpose as the iris on the Earth gate snapped into existence.
"Who is it from?" Weir asked the technician. When he didn't immediately answer, she looked at him. There was an expression of shock on his face.
"I-it's from Earth," he stammered. "Stargate Command."
"What?!"
The man pressed a button, and a familiar voice came over the speakers.
"Atlantis, this is General O'Neill of Stargate Command. Do you read?"
"General O'Neill?" Elizabeth said in surprise.
"Doctor Weir, is that you?"
"Yes, General. I . . . I'm stunned. How is this possible?"
"Oh, the promotion? Yes, I know it's hard to believe, but—"
"Jack," said another familiar voice.
"Oh. Right."
"Hello, Doctor Weir," Daniel Jackson's voice greeted.
"Doctor Jackson. Did you find another ZPM?"
"No, not exactly. We managed to come up with a different power source. We don't know how long it's going to keep the gate open, so explanations will have to wait for later. What you need to know now is that we can very likely make more of them, which means that we can send some to you."
Elizabeth looked at Sheppard, and they both smiled.
"That is incredible news," Weir said.
"There's something I need to know right now, though. Is Major Sheppard there?"
"Yes, I'm here," John replied.
"Did you do what I told you to?"
"Yes, I did. I didn't kill her. It wasn't easy, and we almost didn't get away because of it, but I did what you said."
"Thank God. You have no idea how good that is to know." Someone spoke in the background. "Doctor Weir, we need to close the gate now. We'll contact you again soon."
Back at the SGC, the Stargate shut down. Sam came in a few minutes later.
"We were getting some minor power fluctuations, so I thought it was best if we shut it down. So, did they say they were all right?"
"It didn't happen, Sam." Daniel replied. "Sheppard didn't kill the female Wraith."
"Thank goodness."
"Daniel told Weir that we could build more of those things," Jack said.
"I don't see why not. We have the schematic, and I took detailed notes while we were building the device. We should be able to make as many as we want, well, as many as we have liquid Naquadah for."
"I doubt we'd have any trouble getting a few dozen staff weapons from the rebel Jaffa." Jack patted Daniel's shoulder. "Especially if Dan'yar here is doing the asking."
"If this device is like the one you built, I will be able to get it to work at least one more time. I wouldn't guarantee that it will work more than that, though. It doesn't have even a fraction of the power capacity that a fully charged ZPM would."
"Then we'll just have to have several of them on hand."
"It's possible that I might be able to devise a more powerful and efficient device using this one as the blueprint." Sam made a face. "As much as I hate to admit it, Doctor McKay would probably be a big help in that regard."
"Well, once we get one of those doohickeys over to them and they can dial out to us, maybe McKay will come on back and give you a hand."
"Actually, sir, it would probably be better to do the work over there. I should imagine that they've got technology in the city that would far exceed anything I could use here, and we might even find some information on the original Ancient version of this device."
"And I'd really like to dig into any records that are there," Daniel added.
"Whoa!" Jack exclaimed. "Did I say that you could both go traipsing off to another galaxy?"
"Well, actually, Jack, you told me that I could go if I wasn't going to be gone for more than two or three weeks," Daniel reminded him.
"I said that I'd consider it," Jack corrected.
"That's not what I remember." Daniel smiled pleasantly. "Shall I quote you?"
Jack glared at him. "Smart ass." He looked back and forth between the two scientists. "Oh, all right! You can go, but not until we're certain you can get back."
"We can send through two of the devices with instructions on how to hook one up. They'll most likely be using it with a Naquadah generator, so I'll have to figure out how to do that. Hopefully, it won't take more than a couple of days or so to figure that out and to make four or five of the devices."
Sam got to work on the project right away. As several other people were busy building more of the devices, the astrophysicist set about adapting the one they already had so that it would also work with a Naquadah generator.
While that was going on, Daniel was already packing, deciding what books and other resource materials he'd be taking with him.
Jack came in and watched Daniel shoving books into a backpack. "Kind of jumping the gun, aren't you? It's probably going to be a few days before you guys leave."
"I just want to be all ready ahead of time."
Jack studied him. "You're really excited about this."
"Are you kidding? It's a city of the Ancients, Jack. Not just ruins, but an actual functioning city. The thing I want to know more than anything else is about the Ancients, their history, their culture, and, most of all, their research on ascension and how they managed to do it. I have all the memories of what I did and saw that year I was ascended, but I remember almost nothing about what I learned about them. I need to know who they are, what motivates them as a people. I want to know why they choose to do nothing to help any of us. I know that I might not find all those answers, but anything that I can learn will give me a clearer picture of them."
Jack knew that this search was very personal to Daniel. As a man who was once ascended and had to exist under the rules of the Ancients, he had a need to understand them.
"Well, I'm glad you're getting the opportunity to find out," he said.
Daniel looked at him. "Of course you know that if there is any trouble you need my help on, just let me know. I'll come right back."
"Sure. We'll give you a holler if we need you to save our collective asses again. The same goes for Carter. You know, Teal'c's not going to know what to do with himself while you're both gone."
"I'm sure he'll find something to occupy him."
