CHAPTER ELEVEN
Daniel awoke to a feeling he had been certain he'd never have the joy of experiencing, the sensation of a naked Samantha Carter sleeping in his arms. He looked down at her. Her head was pillowed on his chest, golden hair tousled from sleep and their lovemaking, the expression on her face that of peaceful contentment.
Looking at her, Daniel felt the sorrow of the past torturous months fall away, leaving his spirit feeling light and free. For the first time in a very long time he felt utterly happy. He'd forgotten what that felt like.
Daniel noticed that his wallet was lying open on the floor. He looked at the photo of his wife, a copy of the one he kept in his office. 'I've found love again, Sha're,' he told her. 'If you could talk to me now, I know you'd tell me that you were happy for me. I hope that Sam and I will be given what you and I were denied, the chance to live the rest of our lives together. She is very different from you in many ways, but she has a strong heart, a good heart, just like you. I know that I will love her until the day I die, just as a part of me will always love you.'
The minutes ticked by as Daniel lay there, content to just watch Sam as she slept. When she at last awoke, it was to the sight of his brilliant blue eyes watching her with love in them. She smiled and covered his mouth with hers.
"Hey, there," she murmured.
"Hey."
"How long have you been awake?"
"Around a half-hour or so."
"You should have woken me up."
Daniel smiled. "I was enjoying watching you sleep. Waking up with a naked woman in my arms is something I haven't had the pleasure of doing in quite a long time."
Sam returned the smile. "Even though I already knew that, it's still hard to believe."
"Why?"
"It's almost unbelievable that someone so long out of practice could have been so incredible last night." Sam's smile grew. "You blew my socks off, Doctor Jackson."
Now, most men, after having been given a compliment like that, would have become insufferably smug. Not so Daniel. He blushed. In fact, he turned downright crimson. He got this shy little smile, and his eyes dropped away from hers. Sam grinned, thinking that he was just too darn cute. She planted another kiss on his lips. As they drew apart, Daniel earnestly looked into her eyes.
"You were incredible, too, Sam. You made me feel so alive and happy. It's been a long, long time since I felt this good."
They searched each other's eyes for a long minute, then came together in a deep kiss. Sam lay her head back down and snuggled closer to him.
"I could really get used to waking up like this every morning," she said.
"Me too, though I suspect that Jack might not be all that thrilled if you and I stripped to our birthday suits and snuggled in the same sleeping bag while we're on missions. Well, I take that back. He might not mind so much if you stripped naked at night while on missions, but he sees enough of my bare ass in the locker room."
Sam giggled. "Doesn't appreciate the view, huh?"
"Not especially."
Sam slid her hands down Daniel's body then between him and the bed, giving the portion of his anatomy in question a squeeze. She was rewarded with a little gasp from the archeologist.
"Well, I do," she told him.
Daniel did likewise to Sam. "Ditto," he said with a mischievous grin.
Sam grew serious after a moment. "I guess that's something we need to talk about."
"You mean what we're going to do about work?"
"Yeah. Are we going to keep this a secret or let everyone know?"
Daniel looked straight at her. "I don't want to hide, Sam. I've been hiding how I feel about you for all these months. Now that we're together, I want people to know."
Sam nodded. "I want that, too. How do you think the colonel's going to react?"
Daniel smiled. "Actually, he'll probably be delighted."
"Why do you say that?"
"Because he tried to encourage me to go after you."
Sam's eyes widened. "He did? You mean he knows that you're in love with me?"
"He does now. It . . . kind of came out when we were on the way to the mountain to get my car."
"Well, that's a relief. I was kind of worried that he'd . . . take it badly."
Daniel studied her face. "He cares about you, Sam, but not like that, not anymore."
"Did he tell you that, too?"
"Yes."
"I have to admit that I had a big crush on him for a long time. It was never real love, not like I feel for you. To be honest, I was just being stupid and cowardly. He was a safe subject for my affections because he was unobtainable. I could never get hurt in a relationship with him since we could never get into a relationship. I could love him from afar and keep my heart insulated from other men."
"What changed that?"
"When I was alone on the Prometheus, I realized that I wasn't truly happy because I had no one in my life, that I'd been hiding all this time, afraid to take a chance on love." She placed a kiss on Daniel's chest over his heart. "I'm very glad that I woke up to what I was missing."
Daniel wrapped his arms around her. "Me too."
Sam's gaze fell upon the bruise on Daniel's shoulder. She had completely forgotten about it last night. She lightly touched it.
"I didn't even feel it," he told her. "I was too focused on how you were making the rest of me feel."
Sam placed a few kisses on the injury. Then she ran her hand over his left hip. "How about this?"
"It's just a little sore."
"Hmm." Sam scooted down and started placing kisses where the skin was discolored. The touch of her mouth there got an immediate reaction from his body. He ignored it, however, and pulled her back up, having remembered something as well. He laid a hand on her thigh.
"How about your leg?" he asked.
"Not too bad, although I bet Janet wouldn't be too happy with the workout I've been giving it." She grinned. "It's a good thing the stitches were removed. I have a feeling I'd have popped a few last night."
Daniel rolled Sam over onto her back and slid down. He began placing soft kisses down the length of the scar. Something in his body language sent a warning to Sam, and she touched his head.
"Daniel? Are you all right?"
He didn't reply for a moment. "I was so scared, Sam," he finally said in a small voice. "I was so afraid that you were dead." He laid his head on her stomach, his arms coming around her hips. "I felt so damn helpless. There was nothing I could do for you. If you had died—" His voice broke.
Sam wrapped her arms around his shoulders, running her fingers through his hair. "Shh. Don't, Daniel. Don't think about it. I didn't die. I'm right here."
Daniel rose back up and gazed with startling intensity into her eyes. "God, I love you so much."
"I know. I love you, too."
Their lips came together in a deep, yet tender kiss. In the golden morning light, Daniel made love to Sam with slow and gentle reverence, making her feel so beautiful and so very, very loved. Never before had she known that it could be like this, that the act of making love could make her soul feel like it was flying. Wanting to share the feeling with him, Sam worshiped Daniel's body as he did hers, bringing him to the cusp of completion several times before he finally grabbed her hips and brought her down onto him, melding their bodies. He sat up, his mouth descending to her breasts as they began to move.
Flying high on the powerful drug of their lovemaking, Daniel and Sam lost track of time and the world around them, until, with matching cries, they reached their climax, Daniel taking Sam over the edge before allowing himself to follow.
Daniel held Sam tightly as their breathing and heart rates slowed. Then they lay back on the bed, touching and caressing in silence for a long while.
"I never knew it could be like this," Sam said at last.
"Like what?"
"This. What you're giving to me, what we're giving to each other. I've had sex, I've made love, but I have never made love with someone I truly loved and who really loved me back."
"But what about Jonas Hanson?"
"I know now that I never really loved him, and I don't think he really loved me. No, I take that back. I think he loved me as much as someone like him was capable of love; it just wasn't enough. The sex between us was a lot more take than give on his part."
"I'm sorry."
Sam lifted her head and looked at him. "Don't be. It was a mistake I wish I hadn't made, but it's in the past, dead, like Jonas is. All that matters is now and what I have with you."
They contentedly remained in each other's arms as the minutes passed, neither one of them in any great hurry to get up . . . that is until Sam's stomach rather noisily let her know that it wanted some attention.
Daniel let out a chuckle. "I think it's trying to tell you something."
"Yes, it is. It's definitely ready for some breakfast. We've burned a lot of calories these past few hours." She gave Daniel a look that was both sultry and mischievous. "And we need to eat so that we have the energy to burn still more calories later on."
"I like the way you think, Samantha Carter," Daniel said with a grin.
"Well, you always did love me for my brain."
The archeologist's hands ran up and down her body. "I love everything about you, most definitely not just your brain."
Sam gave him a kiss. "That goes for me, too."
"So, breakfast?"
"Shower first, a nice, long, hot one."
Sam got up and headed for the door, giving Daniel an excellent view of her naked backside. Then she paused and turned around. Daniel raked his eyes up and down her form.
"Coming?" she asked.
A grin spread across the archeologist's face. "Oh, yeah," he breathed. He climbed out of the bed, giving Sam the opportunity to ogle his body. Then she took his hand and led him to the shower.
As the hot water cascaded over them, Daniel and Sam explored each other's bodies as they washed one another, slowly and joyfully learning every inch. Quite some time later, they exited the shower and dried each other off. Sam let Daniel have some fun blow-drying her hair, and he, in turn, allowed her to give him his shave.
The breakfast preparation turned out to be an interesting experience, not to mention a challenge to Sam's ability to concentrate. She had decided that it was her turn to fix a meal since Daniel had been doing all the cooking over the past week. The problem was that the archeologist wouldn't leave her alone to do it. He kept coming into the kitchen and putting his arms around her from behind, kissing and nibbling up and down the length of her neck and stroking her body. For the sake of her sanity, Sam finally put him to work helping with the food prep.
This new side of Daniel Jackson was a surprise to Sam. He had never been a particularly tactile person, not the kind of man who touched a lot. But, now, he seemed to really be having a hard time keeping his hands to himself. Not that she was complaining about it. On the contrary, Daniel's display of affection, playfulness and sensuality – not to mention his incredible sexuality – delighted her and made her feel very special and very loved. Thinking back, Sam recalled that Daniel had been pretty tactile with Sha're, hugging her, holding her hand, sitting close enough to her that their bodies touched while they ate. That had been happy Daniel, a Daniel who was in love. It was the Daniel she was seeing now. The man she'd known up until last night was someone who had partially withdrawn into himself, hiding behind a wall constructed to protect the deepest parts of his heart and soul. She hoped that she would never see that man again.
After breakfast, the couple sat together on the couch. They spent a good part of the morning talking, sharing things too personal and intimate for them to have talked about before becoming lovers.
It was not long after lunch that Daniel got the brilliant idea to play another round of Truth or Dare. This time, the questions were a lot more intimate and there were a whole lot more dares, most of which involved removing items of clothing and touching. In the end, they were both naked and rolling around on the floor in front of the fireplace, tickling each other. Naturally, the tickling progressed into other things. The game continued, only there were no more "truths," only dares to see which of them could be more creative in bringing pleasure to the other.
After it was all over, they lay sprawled on the floor, exhausted but feeling high on laughter and endorphins.
Once he was sufficiently recovered, Daniel rolled onto his side and propped his head up on his hand to look down at his lover. "You are really good for me, you know that? I haven't laughed this much or felt this fantastic in. . . . I can't even remember the last time."
Sam rolled onto her side to face him. "I could say the same thing. I have to tell you, Daniel. If I'd known that having you as a lover would make me feel this good, I'd have seduced you years ago."
Daniel grinned. "Oh, really."
"Yep."
"Well, I doubt that I'd have had much defense against Samantha Carter in full seduction mode."
"Nope."
They both laughed.
A couple of hours later, the couple decided to go for a walk even though it was wet outside. They went to the park that was a few blocks away, holding hands the whole way. Daniel coaxed Sam onto one of the swings. As a light drizzle began to fall, he pushed her, delighting in her laughter and in the sight of her looking so free and happy.
As they left the park, the heavens opened up, and it began to pour. Laughing, they ran hand in hand all the way back to the house.
The lovers stripped off their dripping clothes in the bathroom and took a hot shower together to warm up. This time, the touching soon turned into a whole lot more, their body temperatures rising from more than just the water. His mouth locked with Sam's in a consuming kiss, Daniel lifted her up and pinned her against the shower wall. Sam's legs went around him. A moment later, he was inside her. Sam moaned his name and arched against him.
Their lovemaking was fast and furious, their climaxes coming quickly, launching them into the stratosphere. Afterwards, they just about staggered out of the shower.
"Holy Hannah!" Sam gasped, her legs shaking. "Where are you getting all this energy?"
"I've been storing it up for over six years," Daniel replied, also feeling more than a little rubbery in the legs.
Sam stared at him. "Six years? But what about Shyla?"
Daniel shook his head. "We never slept with each other. She was a princess, and their laws required that she remain a virgin until her wedding night."
"So, that means the last person you were with was—" Sam broke off quickly, cursing herself.
"Hathor," Daniel finished, his tone suddenly dark.
Sam took his hand. "I'm sorry, Daniel. I didn't mean to bring up bad memories."
"It's all right, Sam. It happened. I can't pretend that it didn't. It took a while, but I got past it. It's only a bad memory now."
Sam gave him a hug, then they both dried off and got dressed.
After dinner, they returned to the couch, both of them more quiet and reflective.
"Daniel, there's something I've been wondering about," Sam asked after a while. "When we were playing that first game of Truth or Dare, I asked you what you would change from your past. I can understand why you wouldn't go back and prevent Sha're from being taken by Apophis, but why didn't you say that you would go back and stop her from being killed, change things so that we captured her alive instead?"
Daniel was silent for several seconds, his eyes staring off into the distance. When he finally spoke, it was in a low voice. "If I was limited to changing only one event, unable to influence anyone or anything else in addition to it, and I chose to save Sha're, I would not be able to prevent my younger self from making the worst decision of his life."
"What decision is that?"
"If Sha're hadn't died and we had managed to capture her and remove the Goa'uld, I would probably have left the SGC. I would have stayed long enough to find Sha're's son since that's what she'd have wanted, but, after that, I'm almost certain I would have left, gone back to Abydos with her."
"But your work here has been so important, Daniel," Sam objected. "If you hadn't been with us during those years, there are so many good things that wouldn't have happened, so many ways that things would have been worse. Whole civilizations would have been lost if it weren't for you, including the entire human race here on Earth. There are so many who owe you their lives."
Daniel looked at her. "But you see, Sam, back then I didn't think my contribution to the program was all that important. I really believed that I hadn't done all that much. I never thought that it would make that much of a difference if I left."
"But you do now?" Sam asked, upset by what Daniel has said.
"I know that the work I do here is important, too important to leave behind. I know now that I have made a difference."
Daniel looked away again. "It's not easy realizing that, even if I could go back in time and save Sha're, I'd have to choose not to. But then I think about the fact that I wouldn't really be saving her anyway, not for long."
"What do you mean?"
"If Sha're hadn't died and I had gone back with her to Abydos, she and I and probably all the other Abydonians would now be dead. I wouldn't have ascended, so I would not have known that Anubis was coming to get the Eye. When he did come, we'd have fought him, and we'd have all died. And Oma would not have been there to help any of us ascend."
"And Anubis would have gotten that tablet that spoke of the Ancients' lost city."
Daniel nodded. "Yeah."
Sam's gaze dropped to her lap. "Daniel, if you could go back and save Sha're without it resulting in a catastrophe . . . would you?"
Daniel stared at her profile. "Sam, are you asking if I'd trade what I now have with you for getting Sha're back?"
Sam sighed. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked that. It's not a fair question."
Daniel put a finger under her chin and lifted her head to meet his gaze. "Sam, I did love Sha're very much. For years, I thought that she would be the only one for me. But I was wrong." He cupped her face in his hand. "I wouldn't give up what I now have with you for anything, Sam." He searched her eyes. "Do you believe me?"
She smiled and nodded. Then she pressed her mouth to his in a long kiss.
"I love you," she whispered against his lips. He said the words back to her with all his heart.
As the evening wore on, Sam got progressively quieter. Daniel could tell that something was bothering her.
"What's wrong?" he finally asked.
She gave a sigh. "I was thinking about Pete. He's coming over tomorrow."
"Oh. You're trying to figure out how to break it to him."
"Yeah. I don't know how I'm going to tell him, Daniel. He's a really nice guy, and I don't want to hurt him." Sam sighed again. "But there's no way I can prevent that, is there."
"Not if he feels even half of what I feel for you, Sam." Daniel could see how much the thought of having to tell Pete was bothering her. "You want me to do it?" he asked, although the thought of telling Sam's soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend that he'd slept with her was not on his top ten list of things he most wanted to do.
"No. Absolutely not. I don't want you to have to hurt him to protect yourself."
Daniel stared at her. "You sure I wouldn't be the one getting hurt? He is a cop, after all."
"Daniel, you've been trained in hand-to-hand combat by the former First Prime of Apophis and an ex-Special Op, ex-Black Ops Air Force colonel. No training Pete would have gotten at the police academy could equal that."
Daniel shook his head. "I wouldn't hurt him, Sam."
She looked into his eyes. "No, you wouldn't, would you." The intensity of her gaze increased. "Perhaps you are the one I should worry about. Would you let him hurt you, Daniel?"
The archeologist looked away from her. "I did steal his girlfriend."
Sam grabbed his face, forcing him to meet her eyes. "You didn't steal anything, Daniel. I gave myself to you, freely. It was my choice to do this. You have nothing to feel guilty about. I'm the only one who has any reason to feel guilty, and I guess I do a little, but I realize now that I should never have gotten involved with Pete in the first place. I started dating him because I was determined to get over the thing with the colonel and have a real relationship with someone. If I'd met him just a month earlier, I'd probably have turned him down when he asked me out. He came along at just the right time . . . or the wrong time, depending on how you look at it. Regardless, I am the one who needs to tell him."
"I'll be here to back you up, Sam."
Sam shook her head. "No. It would be better if you're not here."
"Sam—"
"No, Daniel. You being here would just make it worse. I am in no danger from Pete. He would never hurt me."
"So, what do you want me to do?"
"Go home and wait for my call."
Daniel was silent for a moment. "You want me to leave tonight?" he asked, hiding the fact that he really did not want to go.
Sam wrapped her arms around him tightly. "No. I need you with me tonight, Daniel. I need you to love me."
Daniel cupped her face and gave her a soft kiss. He gazed deeply into her eyes. "Tonight and forever, Sam." He then stood and held his hand out to her. Sam took it, and he led her to the bedroom.
