CHAPTER NINETEEN
Vala frowned down at her lunch, spearing at the food with her fork and dragging it around her plate. During the week that had passed since they got back from their last mission, she and Cam had hardly spent any time together. At the base he always seemed to be busy, and the two times she mentioned coming over to his place after work he said that he was tired or had things to take care of. If she didn't know any better, she'd think that he was avoiding her. They didn't even spend his days off together, Cam going off out of state to visit a friend of his from the Academy who'd been in a serious car accident.
She missed him, missed sharing meals with him every day, missed hanging around with him, sneaking kisses when no one would see. She missed the way he smiled at her. She hadn't seen a single smile since they got back from the mission.
Vala had to wonder if the reason for Cam's attitude was what had been going on at the SGC. The base grapevine had gotten hold of the news about the wedding, and all five members of SG-1 were finding themselves the brunt of a lot of jokes and teasing. Yes, all five. A lot of people considered the idea that Teal'c had been mistaken for a matchmaker to be hilarious. Those people, however, were bright enough not to say anything in the presences of the Jaffa. The same was not the case when it came to the other members of the team and their unintentional nuptials.
The remarks didn't really bother Vala, but she knew that they did bother Cam, who was blaming himself for them being in that situation in the first place. She bet that Daniel was blaming himself as well since he was the one who failed to understand everything Luan said.
Whatever the reason for what was going on with Cameron, she wasn't going to let him get away with it for much longer. He would be off again this weekend, and she intended to go to his place with or without an invitation.
Unbeknownst to Vala, the subject of her thoughts was, at that moment, thinking about her.
Cam let out a sigh and gave up trying to read the report sitting before him after going over the same paragraph for the fifth time. Thoughts about Vala kept getting in the way. He was avoiding her. There were no ifs, ands or butts about it. The reason for the avoidance was that he wasn't sure if he could hide from her his feelings and doubts about their relationship. He was surprised that she hadn't confronted him yet. It was only a matter of time before she did.
Last Friday, he had been trying to figure out how he could prevent Vala from coming over to his place on Saturday when he got a call from the wife of one of his Academy buddies, telling him that Kent had been in a bad car wreck. He was going to be all right but would have to go through physical therapy. Normally, Cam might have just chosen to talk to Kent on the phone, but he realized that this could solve his problem with Vala, so he made hasty arrangements to catch a flight out on Saturday morning and spent that day and most of Sunday with his friend.
Cam knew that he wasn't being fair to Vala. She deserved some kind of explanation. The problem was that any explanation would have to include the fact that he was in love with her, and he was afraid of what that revelation would result in, what Vala would say. Then again, what was the point in continuing this relationship if he couldn't face spending any time alone with her?
Cam's gaze went to the pot sitting off in a corner, from which tiny sprouts had already emerged. He had been intending to give the pot to Bill Lee so that the scientist could study the plants sprouting from the seeds he and Vala planted, but he just couldn't quite get himself to part with it. Quite frankly, he shouldn't want anything to do with it since it was a constant reminder of the whole fiasco on their last mission. So why was he hanging onto it? Maybe because, in a weird way, he thought of it as a symbol of his feelings for Vala. It had been given to them in a ceremony that was supposed to join them for life, and, although he wasn't anywhere near ready for thoughts about going down the aisle with Vala, he did know that he wanted to spend his life with her.
Those thoughts had him going right back to his earlier ones. He needed to find his courage and talk to her. That's all there was to it. This weekend would be good. He could take her to his place and talk it all out. Then it would be over and done with, and he'd know if their relationship had a future or if it was time to end it and try to move on.
When Sam stopped by Cam's office a while later, she could tell right away that something was bothering him. When she asked him what was wrong, he stared at her for a moment, then asked her to shut the door. After she did so, she took a seat.
"It's about me and Vala," he said. "I'm beginning to wonder if this thing between us has any real future."
Surprised, Sam studied him closely. "Why do you say that?"
He told her about the incident in the bower, leaving out the details of Vala's sexual advances and the fact that she was naked.
"I've been in love before, but I have never felt the way I do for her," he confessed. "But, now, I have to wonder what kind of future we can have if I'm the only one who feels this way. I know it's only been a few weeks and I should give her more time, but. . . ."
"You're wondering if more time will make a difference."
"Yeah."
Sam didn't say anything for a moment. "Cam, you already know that I had some doubts about your relationship with Vala. I was worried that you'd get hurt, but, now, I think I need to say something else. Don't give up too soon. Daniel believed that he and I would never have a relationship and almost went off to Atlantis forever because of that. We came so close to never discovering what we could have together. I know that it's probably something you're afraid to do, but I think you need to talk to Vala, let her know how you feel."
"I know. I'm planning on doing that this weekend." He managed a smile. "Wish me luck?"
"You bet."
Cam lost the smile. "So what was the real reason for your visit?"
"It was about tomorrow's mission. At the briefing I think we need to discuss how we're going to approach this one. The reaction of the native population to the MALP wasn't exactly promising." She was referring to the fact that several men with spears had attacked the thing, jabbing at it with spears a couple of times before backing off and just watching it. "If it wasn't for that strong energy reading from the area, I'd really think twice about going there."
"I guess we'll just have to be careful. It's not like it'll be the first time that we've gone into a potentially dangerous situation. Let's just hope that, this time, the translator works." Changing the subject, Cam then said, "So, I understand that General O'Neill may have found a house."
Sam smiled and nodded. "He put in an offer and should be hearing back later this afternoon. He was planning on going back to D.C. in the morning, but he might have to stay another day if there's a counter offer."
Cam was about to ask her a question when his phone rang. The caller was someone who needed to get some information from the pilot, so Sam told him that she'd see him later and left the office. As she closed the door behind her, she sent out a silent wish that his relationship with Vala would turn out well.
Daniel had just finished eating dinner when the doorbell rang. He opened the door to find Jack on the other side. He invited the man in.
"I've got some good news," Jack said. "The owners accepted my offer on the house."
"Congratulations. I bet you're happy."
"Yeah, it's gonna be nice to get back here. Too many politicians in D.C."
Daniel nodded. "So, what did you really come over here to talk about?"
"Giving you the good news about the house isn't good enough?"
"You could have told me that over the phone."
Jack went over to the recliner and sat down. Daniel took a seat on the couch and waited.
"I spent last night at Sara's," Jack announced.
Daniel blinked. "Oh. You mean. . . ."
"Yeah. I definitely wasn't planning on that happening, not this soon, but we were sitting there on her couch, sharing a glass of wine, and it felt just like it used to, before Charlie died. It felt good . . . great, actually."
"And this morning?"
"That felt good, too. Neither of us regrets what happened."
"I'm glad. You've been alone for a long time, Jack."
"I just hope that I don't screw things up again." Jack stared into Daniel's eyes. "There's something I need to say to you. It's about the thing between me and Sam." He watched Daniel's gaze drop to the floor. "It wasn't until I woke up this morning with Sara that I realized something. I never really stopped loving her. All these years, I still had those feelings for her. I'm not saying that I didn't love Sam, but what I felt for her was not the same as what I felt for Sara when we were together. Back when things were good between us, if I'd had to give up my career to keep her, I would have."
Daniel understood what he was saying. "But you were never willing to retire to be with Sam."
"No. Oh, I told myself that it was because I felt an obligation to protect Earth from the Goa'uld, but, subconsciously, I knew different. Kerry wondered why I didn't leave the service and command the SGC as a civilian. It could have been done. Then I could have had a relationship with Sam. But I chose not to do that. When the Goa'uld stopped being a threat, I could have retired, but, instead, I accepted the command of Homeworld Security even though it would mean I'd rarely see Sam. All along, something in here," he tapped the side of his head, "was telling me that Sam wasn't the one for me, but I didn't start listening until after I moved to D.C. and began to realize that my feelings for her were no longer as strong as they were in the beginning. The thing is that I'm not the only one who had the option if leaving the service. Sam could have, too, and continued to work at the SGC and on SG-1 as a civilian. So why didn't she? I think it's because something inside her was telling her the same thing."
Jack leaned forward in his seat. "The reason I'm telling you this is that I know that, somewhere in that head of yours, you can't help but think about the fact that Sam loved me first, and that might be causing some doubts about whether she can feel that way about you. Well, I want you to get those doubts out of your mind. The two of you have what she and I could never have had, not in this universe. I am one hundred percent positive of that. I may have been wrong about a lot of things in my life, but I'm not wrong about that."
Daniel finally lifted his eyes to Jack's. "Thanks."
The older man nodded. He then got to his feet. "Well, I have an early flight back to D.C. in the morning, so I'd better get some shuteye."
Daniel stood as well. "When will you be back?"
"Not too long. I'll give you a call when I know exactly when I'm coming back."
The two men said goodbye, then Jack left the apartment and went down to his car. As he drove away, a satisfied smile came to his lips, the thought in his mind that everything was going to turn out just fine.
Landry and the five members of SG-1 sat around the briefing table, discussing the morning's mission.
"Based upon the natives' aggressive response to the MALP, I'd definitely say that we need to watch our step," Cam was saying.
"It's possible that they were just afraid of something they didn't understand," Daniel responded. "If they have no technology of their own, the MALP could have been a pretty frightening sight. Their response may have been nothing more than an attempt to protect their people from what they believed was a threat."
"That's true," Sam said, "but that doesn't mean they won't react the same way to us."
Landry looked back and forth between her and Cam. "Do you believe that it would be best to have another team as backup."
"I have been thinking about it," the pilot replied.
Daniel spoke again. "The problem with that is that, if these people do feel threatened by anyone or anything coming through the gate, the larger the size of the party, the stronger those feelings will be. Five people might not feel so threatening, but almost twice that many could be a different story."
Sam nodded. "Daniel's right about that."
"Perhaps there is another option," Teal'c said.
"Which is?" Landry asked.
"SG-1 will go through the Stargate alone, but you will maintain an open wormhole until we believe that there is no danger. A second team will remain standing by in the gate room. If we are attacked, we can radio for help."
Cam liked that idea. "That'll work."
Landry agreed. "All right. That's what we'll do, then. I'll have SG-3 waiting in the gate room. I will also keep the MALP transmitting a video feed so that we can see what's happening."
They discussed the mission for a few minutes longer, then SG-1 went off to get ready. A while later, they stood in the gate room, waiting for the Stargate to dial up. Once the wormhole connected, they then waited for the okay to go through.
Up in the control room, Landry ordered the technician to turn on the MALP's camera. A picture came on the screen showing a grassy meadow. Not far away was a small village with buildings made of wood and stone. Within a matter of moments, a group of nine men appeared, armed with spears and bows. They walked forward a few paces, then stopped and just stared.
"SG-1, we've got nine armed men about fifty feet from the gate," he announced to the waiting team. "They are not presently showing any hostility. It's your call on whether or not to go through."
Cam looked at his teammates. "I'm game of you are." When the others said that they were, too, the leader of SG-1 looked up at the general. "We're going through, General." He then looked at SG-3. "Be ready to bail us out if we get into hot water, guys."
The teammates strode forward and entered the wormhole. They came out the other side alert and prepared for hostilities. At the sight of them coming through, the nine men lifted their weapons, but did not fire. SG-1 cautiously descended the dais and came to a stop.
"Jackson," Cam said, "you're on."
Daniel took a step forward, opening his mouth to speak. He never got the chance to utter a word.
One of the men, his finger pointing straight at Teal'c, cried, "An evil one!" And then all hell broke loose. SG-1 ducked for cover as half a dozen arrows were launched at them. They made it to the shelter of the Stargate and began firing back, their shots aimed at the ground before the natives.
"We're under attack!" Cam yelled into his radio. "Do not send SG-3 through! Repeat. Do not send SG-3 through! They'll be hit the second they come through the gate."
Back at Stargate Command, Landry was watching the video feed of the natives and the arrows flying through the air. The nine men had been joined by six more. Mitchell was right. Sending SG-3 through would be suicide.
"Colonel, what's your situation?" he asked SG-1's leader.
"We're taking shelter behind the gate, sir, but we can't stay here for long. We could take the natives out, but we're reluctant to do so. They think we're Goa'uld, sir. They recognized Teal'c as a Jaffa."
"I'm open to suggestions, Colonel."
Sam ducked further down as an arrow passed right over her head. She then got on the radio. "Sir, if you could get a Goa'uld shock grenade through the gate to us, we could use it to knock out the natives. It'll be risky, but it's the only thing I can think of."
"Consider it done." Landry gave the command for someone to get one of the grenades. He then told SG-3 to prepare themselves for a rush through the gate on his order. They ascended the ramp to within a few feet of the event horizon.
It wasn't long before an airman was running into the gate room with one of the Goa'uld grenades. He hurried up the ramp and handed it to Reynolds.
"We've got the grenade and are ready to send it through," Landry told SG-1.
Sam responded. "Okay. Have the person roll it through so that it'll come out of the gate at an angle. We're hoping that it'll roll off the dais and into the grass close enough that we can grab it. Don't throw it. It may go too far."
Landry told SG-3's leader what to do. Reynolds took up a position at the left side of the gate and readied himself to send the grenade through. He looked up toward the control room and nodded.
"It's coming through now, SG-1," Landry said, then told Reynolds to send the grenade through.
Seconds later, the grenade rolled out of the open Stargate, bounced down the first two steps, then fell off the dais to land about seven feet from Daniel's position.
"Not quite as close as I was hoping," he remarked.
"I'll get it," Cam said.
"No, I'm in position. I'll get it. I'll make a dive for it, and you guys haul me back in."
"SG-1. Have you got the grenade?" asked Landry's voice over the radio.
"Working on it, sir," Cameron replied.
Daniel met Sam's eyes and saw her fear for him.
"Please be careful, Daniel," she said.
He reached out and gave her hand a squeeze, then he turned to his two male team members. "Grab my ankles and pull me back in as soon as I've got the grenade."
Cam nodded sharply. "You got it."
Daniel got up into a crouch and prepared himself. "Cover me, Sam," he said. She responded by opening fire upon the natives, her shots hitting the ground so close to the mens' feet that it forced them back. Daniel threw himself forward. His body hit the ground, his outstretched hand reaching for the grenade. His fingers curled around it. In the next instant, he was being dragged backwards across the ground as arrows flew by. He was almost behind the shelter of the dais when a sharp pain in his arm told him that he'd been hit. More arrows aimed at him struck harmlessly against the stone as he was pulled the remaining feet to safety.
Sam examined the wound on his forearm, relieved to see that it was just a shallow cut.
"All right. Now what?" Daniel asked. "Somebody's going to have to break cover and throw that thing."
"I will do it," Teal'c said.
"No way, Teal'c," Cam responded. "I am the team leader, so I'm doing it." He looked at Vala and saw the same fear in her eyes as had been in Sam's a few moments ago.
"Cameron?" she said, the fear also in her voice.
"I'll be fine, Vala," he assured her. He filled Landry in on what he was about to do.
"I'm sending SG-3 through as soon as that grenade detonates, Colonel," the general told him. "Good luck."
"Thank you, sir."
Vala stared at Cameron, fear a tight knot in her belly. She didn't want him to do this. Why wouldn't he let Teal'c do it? Why did he have to be the hero?
Cam shared a look with his other teammates. "Ready?"
Daniel, Sam and Teal'c nodded, the first two wishing him good luck. He then looked at Vala again. She wanted to say something, anything, but she couldn't get any words out. She wanted to grab his hand, but she knew that she wouldn't be able to let go. And so she just sat there staring at him as he turned away and faced the natives, who, for the moment, had stopped firing. She watched as he lifted into a crouch, the shock grenade in his hand. Her body tensed as his did, her heart beating fast and hard in her chest.
With an explosion of movement, Cam jumped to his feet, his arm already pulling back for his throw. The arm swung forward, and the grenade went sailing through the air. As soon as it left his hand, Cam dived back toward the ground. He'd almost made it when the arrow hit.
"Cameron!" Vala screamed as he fell to the ground and lay still. There were already tears falling down her face as Daniel and Teal'c pulled his body back behind the Stargate. Sam felt for a pulse in Cam's neck and was relieved to find one. She stared at the arrow protruding from his chest and the amount of blood coming from the wound, her gut clenching. She knew that it was bad. She quickly packed the wound, being careful not to jar the arrow.
The members of SG-3, who had come through as soon as Landry saw the grenade detonate in the midst of the natives, joined SG-1. Reynolds let out a curse upon seeing the arrow in the chest of his fellow SG team leader. He radioed to Landry and told the general to get a medical team to the gate room. Seconds later, the wormhole disconnected.
"What of the natives?" Teal'c asked.
"Looks like they're down for the count," Reynolds replied, "but we need to get back through that gate before more show up." He looked back down at Cam. "How bad is it?"
"Bad," Sam answered. Her gaze went to Vala, as did Daniel's. Cam's hand was clutched in both of hers, her tear-wet face pale with terror and anguish. The two scientists then looked at each other, knowing that there was now no doubt about Vala's feelings for Cam. They both prayed that she wasn't about to lose him.
As quickly as possible, Teal'c carefully gathered the unconscious pilot into his arms and lifted him up. The way Cam hung there so limp and still made Vala feel like a part of her was dying.
A member of SG-3 dialed out as two of his teammates covered him. As soon as the gate connected, everyone else came out from behind it. Teal'c was just stepping onto the dais when there was a shout in the distance. The people from the SGC turned and saw more armed natives rushing up to the unconscious ones.
"Go! Go!" Reynolds yelled. They all dashed up the steps and ran through the gate. Arrows followed them out the other side.
"Close the iris!" Sam yelled as the last person came through. Neither she nor any of her teammates paid any attention as her command was followed. All of their eyes were on the unconscious man in Teal'c's arms. A medical team had hurried into the gate room, and Teal'c gently laid Cam on the gurney. Carolyn Lam began examining him. His chest was drenched in blood, more soaking his shirt even as she watched. She feared that his heart or a major artery or vein had been hit.
"We need to get him to surgery stat!" she yelled, knowing that there was no time to wait for x-rays. They needed to stop that bleeding now.
The medical team rushed out of the gate room with Cam, the man's teammates on their heels. There was not enough room for SG-1 in the elevator, so they took the stairs, barely noticing the seven-flight climb. Cam was being rushed into surgery as they entered the infirmary. The four of them went to the place that had been designated as the waiting area. Landry joined them there and asked to be filled in. Sam told him what happened.
"All right. I'll postpone the debriefing until after Colonel Mitchell is out of surgery," he said. He looked around at all the worried faces. "Mitchell is a strong man. He's had to be to survive what he has. If anyone can get through this, he can."
After Landry had left, Daniel turned to the dark-haired woman beside him. "Vala?"
"I'm all right," she insisted, though she really didn't look like she was. "Cameron's going to be fine. He has to be."
The waiting began. Guessing that Cam's teammates wouldn't be willing to leave the infirmary to take care of it themselves, Landry had sent someone to collect their vests and other gear. Their post-mission exams were taken care of, and Daniel's wound was cleaned and bandaged.
After returning to the waiting area, he spent a lot of time watching Vala, who went from pacing, to sitting in a chair hugging herself, then back to pacing. He was worried, both for Cam and for her. If the pilot died, what would it do to her? He hoped that he wouldn't have to find out.
It was a very long time before the four people saw Carolyn come out.
"How is he?" Sam asked.
"He's alive, though we almost lost him on the table. I'm afraid, though, that he is not out of the woods yet. The arrowhead damaged the inferior vena cava, which is the vein that brings blood into the heart from the lower body. If it had struck just a little to the right, the vein would have been severed, and he'd have bled out within seconds. As it is, he lost a lot of blood. By the time we got him into surgery, he was in stage four hypovolemic shock, which means that he lost over forty percent of his blood volume."
Vala's terror had returned, clutching like a cold fist around her heart. "What can you do?"
"We repaired the damage and are replacing the blood he lost. Other than that, there's not much we can do except wait."
Sam was also scared. "How long before you know if he'll be all right?"
"The first twenty-four hours will be the most critical. If he makes it through those without any crises or complications, I'll be much more positive. The one thing we can be thankful for is that there is no sign that the severe blood loss caused brain damage, although I am concerned about possible damage to his kidneys."
"Maybe we could get hold of a healing device," Daniel suggested. "Vala has a lot of experience using them."
"It is possible that my fellow Jaffa have access to one," Teal'c said.
"And we can put in a call to the Tok'ra, too."
Carolyn nodded. "It's worth a try." She looked about the four people. "We're going to do everything in our power to keep him with us. All of you need to get cleaned up. If there are any changes in his condition, I will contact you immediately."
After showering and changing, the four members of SG-1 took care of the debriefing. They also talked to Landry about contacting the Tok'ra and Jaffa, which he agreed to do.
The moment the debriefing was over, Vala rushed out of the room, her teammates knowing that she was going back to the infirmary. An hour later, Daniel did likewise. He found the pilot in a bed in the ICU, behind a partially drawn curtain. Vala was sitting in a chair beside him. One of her hands was stroking his face. The other was holding his right hand pressed against her cheek, which was wet with tears. The look on her face tore at Daniel.s heart.
Suddenly becoming aware of his presence, Vala straightened and hastily wiped her face dry. He came up to her.
"There's nothing wrong with showing your emotions, Vala," he told her gently. He found another chair and set it beside hers.
Vala did not look at him. "I'm just very worried."
"I know." Daniel laid his hand over hers, which was now clenched into a fist on her thigh. She loosened the fist and wrapped her fingers around his. The contact succeeded in crumbling Vala's attempt to rebuild her walls, and she began to cry again.
"He means a great deal to me," she whispered, her eyes back on Cam. "If he dies. . . ."
Daniel tightened his grasp on her hand. "Mitchell is a fighter, Vala. This isn't the first time that he's been in a situation like this. Did you ever hear the story of how he became the leader of SG-1?"
Vala shook her head, at last looking at Daniel. He told her about Anubis' attack on Earth and how Mitchell saved SG-1 and the mission by shooting down the Al'Kesh that was heading right for their ship.
"His ship was already badly damaged, and he should have withdrawn from the battle, but when he saw that we were in trouble, he chose to help us instead. His ship went down, and he was severely injured in the crash, so badly that none of the doctors thought he was going to make it. Though he survived, his chances of ever walking again were next to nil. When he was in the hospital and no one was sure he was going to be all right, Jack promised him that, if he got better, he could have his choice of jobs in the program. As it turned out, when he resumed active duty, the position of SG-1's leader was available because Sam had transferred to R&D." Daniel gave Vala a look of encouragement. "He's already beaten the odds once, Vala. He can do it again."
She laid her other hand over his. "Thank you. That makes me feel better."
Daniel nodded and stood. "I'll let you be alone with him." He left the infirmary and went to Sam's lab. The astrophysicist was attempting to write her mission report but was not having much luck.
"I just got back from the ICU," he told her.
"How's Cam?"
"About the same, I think. Vala was with him. She's not doing so well."
Sam sighed. "I didn't tell you this, but Cam talked to me yesterday about his relationship with her. He was having major doubts about its future." She told Daniel what Cam revealed to her. "If she's in love with him, which she obviously is, why did she act that way? Why didn't she admit that she really cares about him?"
"Because she was afraid."
Sam looked at him. "Afraid?"
"I know how she felt, Sam. All those years that I was in love with you, I was afraid to tell you. I knew that you didn't feel the same, and I was afraid of how you'd react. Vala's gone through a lot bad stuff when it comes to relationships, not the least of which was the situation with her father. I think that, because of that, she's afraid to let anyone see into her heart."
"I guess I can understand that. It just tears me up to think that Cam might die never knowing that she feels the same way about him as he does about her."
Vala looked up at the clock. Eight p.m. It felt like it should be later. It felt like she had been sitting there for days, waiting to see if the man she cared so much about was going to live or die.
Sam and Daniel had visited a while ago and stayed for several minutes, asking if she wanted to go have dinner with them in the commissary. She wasn't hungry, so she declined the invitation. Teal'c had come around an hour earlier. He did not stay long, but his quiet words of confidence and encouragement made Vala feel better.
A small sound made Vala turn. Carolyn was standing just inside the curtain, looking at her. The doctor went over to the monitors and studied the readouts, frowning slightly.
"What's wrong?" Vala asked anxiously.
"His oxygen saturation level is down a bit."
"Is that bad?"
"It's only down a little, Vala. It's bound to fluctuate some. I'm not going to get concerned unless it goes down quite a bit further." Carolyn's eyes returned to Vala. "Have you eaten anything?"
"I'm not hungry."
"Vala, you need to eat. As far as I know, you had no lunch either."
"I just don't want to leave him alone."
Carolyn stared at her for a long, uncomfortable moment. "The two of you are in a relationship, aren't you. I began to suspect it after seeing how badly the attack on you affected Cameron, but, now, I'm sure of it."
Vala sighed. "Yes."
"For how long?"
"Almost six weeks."
"Who else knows?"
"The rest of our team. We were planning on telling General Landry soon." Vala looked at the doctor pleadingly. "Please don't tell him."
"I won't, Vala, although you should have a long time ago."
"At first, we were not sure if our relationship was going to go anywhere, and then I was afraid that General Landry would remove me from SG-1."
Carolyn looked at the other woman for a while longer. "I want you to go get some dinner."
"But—"
"No 'buts'. You won't be gone for all that long. If anything happens while you are, I'll contact you right away."
Knowing that she wasn't going to get out of it, Vala agreed. She went to the commissary and picked food that would take the least amount of time to eat, then she ate it so fast that she barely had time to taste it. Taking a cup of tea with her, she returned to the ICU and Cam's bedside.
More hours crawled by. Finally, Vala began to grow sleepy. She fought it, not wanting to go off to bed, but her eyelids kept drooping. Thinking that perhaps she could just take a little nap, she leaned forward in her chair, rested crossed arms on the mattress, and laid her head upon them. A few minutes later, she was asleep, the sound of Cam's slow breathing in her ears.
No one on SG-1 slept well that night, Daniel and Sam both remaining on base in case there was an emergency with Cam. As for Vala, she never left the infirmary at all, that is until seven a.m., when Carolyn ordered her to go change and get some breakfast.
The Jaffa had responded to the request for a healing device with the news that they did not have one immediately available but might be able to get their hands on one. No reply had come from the Tok'ra at all.
When the end of the critical first twenty-four hours arrived with an improvement in Cam's condition, Vala's fear finally eased enough that she left him for a while to go stretch her legs. Her walk ended at her quarters, where she sat on the bed. Her mind went back to the first time she and Cam made love, right there in that very spot. She recalled what she had been thinking back then, that this new relationship with him was nothing serious. So much had changed in the weeks since then.
After freshening her makeup, Vala returned to the ICU.
"You know, Cameron," she said after she'd been there a few minutes. "It is getting rather boring just sitting here, watching you sleep. The least you could do is wake up and talk with me." When he neither moved nor made a sound, Vala sighed, her attempt to brighten her own mood failing. She rested her hand on his. "You need to be all right, Cameron. I have . . . come to care about you a great deal. Daniel, Samantha and Teal'c care as well."
With another sigh, Vala closed her eyes, her head bowing. A slight movement of the hand beneath hers made her eyes fly open, her head jerking up. She stared at his face, nearly holding her breath, praying for his eyes to open. It was several seconds later when her prayer was answered. Slowly, Cam's eyes blinked open, then gazed in incomprehension at the ceiling.
"Cameron?" Vala said, her voice trembling.
Cam's gaze turned to her, his eyes a bit unfocused.
"Vala?" he whispered weakly after a few seconds.
The sound of his voice made Vala burst into tears. She grasped his hand in both of hers.
"Yes, I'm here, Cameron. You are going to be all right."
Cam's eyelids slid closed as sleep reclaimed him. Vala excitedly ran out into the main ward and told Carolyn about his brief moment of consciousness. As the doctor went to check on him, Vala called Daniel to tell him what happened. He, in turn, contacted Sam and Teal'c. The three of them reached the infirmary just as Carolyn finished the examination.
"So?" Daniel asked the doctor.
"There is a marked improvement in his vitals. He is still in serious condition, but I think he's past the danger point." She smiled. "It looks like he's going to be all right."
The four members of SG-1 all relaxed. Vala felt like crying again, but, this time, tears of joy.
Carolyn interrupted the good feelings. "I must tell all of you that his recovery will not be quick. This kind of injury takes a long time to fully recover from."
"There is a good chance that the Jaffa will get hold of a healing device," Daniel responded. "Then he won't have to deal with that."
"And we won't have to be without a member of our team," Sam added.
She and her three teammates went to see Cam, who was still asleep.
A little smile came to Sam's lips. "You know, if he isn't careful, he's going to beat Daniel's record for near death experiences."
"Oh, I don't know about that," the archeologist said. "He's been here for over two years. I'd already died once before I was even a member of the team, and, just in my first year, I died a second time and suffered a potentially fatal injury. I followed that up in the second year with a near-fatal accident and a third death, if you count cardiac arrest while in someone else's body. I won't bother going into all the deaths and near deaths that came after that."
Sam nodded. "You're right. He's not even close. Your record is safe."
"I am so pleased."
The two of them shot each other a smile.
Daniel looked at Vala. "How are you doing?"
"Much better. I am so relieved."
"Have you eaten lunch yet?"
"No."
"Me neither."
"Neither have I," Sam said.
"Nor I," said Teal'c.
Daniel jerked his head toward the exit. "Come on, then. Let's all get something to eat."
The meal, while not exactly enjoyable, was the most relaxed one any of them had had since yesterday morning. Afterwards, Vala returned to Cam's bedside, still feeling the need to be near him. She'd nearly lost him, and it had really scared her. She didn't want to think about what it would have been like if he had died.
Carolyn had brought some magazines yesterday for Vala to read, but she hadn't been in the mood until now. She was browsing through a six-month-old copy of Reader's Digest when a sound drew her attention to the bed. She watched in breathless anticipation as Cam's eyes opened. This time, they looked clear and fully aware.
"Hi," she said, sternly telling herself that she was not going to cry.
Cam's hand moved to his chest, which was swathed in bandages. "I guess I didn't quite move fast enough, huh."
"Not quite." 'Dammit! I am not going to cry. I am not going to cry!'
"How bad was it?"
"You, um, came pretty close."
Cam looked closely at Vala, who was now staring at the bedcovers. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," the woman instantly replied. It was quite clear to the pilot that she was lying.
"I don't believe you." he told her. "You're acting like you're upset about something."
"I was just a little . . . concerned about you. You were very badly injured, and Doctor Lam was not sure if you would survive."
Cam stared at Vala, having heard the slightest of tremors in her voice. She was still refusing to meet his eyes, but what he could see of her face was telling him that she was struggling not to cry.
Just then, a memory came to him of waking up and seeing Vala gazing at him with tears running down her face.
Vala had cried for him. She had feared he was going to die and cried for him, was, even now, fighting not to cry. What did that mean?
In a flash, the answer came to him, shocking the hell out of him.
Unaware of Cam's thoughts, Vala stared fiercely at the blanket, fighting with all her might not to let loose with the tears that were struggling to break free. This was just plain silly. There was no reason to cry. Cameron was going to be fine. Everything was going to be fine.
Feeling the need to get out of there before she started balling like a baby, Vala made a move to rise. She was stopped by Cameron taking her hand. His other hand reached up and took hold of her chin, tilting her face upward. Against her will, she met his eyes. He was staring at her intently, as if he was trying to peer right into her soul. And then he spoke, four little words that rang through her ears and straight into her heart.
"I love you, too."
Hearing those words, Vala was suddenly sobbing. Cam pulled her down until her head rested on his shoulder.
"I thought you were going to die," she whispered. "I thought I was going to lose you."
"Shh. It's all right. I didn't die, and I'm not gonna leave you. You won't get rid of me that easily."
Vala lifted her head and pressed tear-slicked lips against Cam's. As they drew apart, he brushed the wetness from her face. She gazed into his eyes.
"You love me?" she asked.
"Yes, much to my dismay."
A big smile lit Vala's face. "Well, of course you do. I'm irresistible."
Cam chuckled, then winced at the pain it caused. "Don't make me laugh."
"Sorry."
The pilot grew serious. "And you love me, too."
Vala immediately looked away, shaking her head. "No. I-I-I mean I do have very strong feelings for you. I have become quite fond of you. But—"
"Vala." The tone of Cameron's voice was firm, no-nonsense. "Look at me."
Reluctantly, she did as he commanded.
"Love isn't a bad thing," Cam told her quietly.
The simple statement made a wall inside Vala's heart crumble and fall. Along with it went her refusal to see what had been right before her eyes. She cupped Cameron's face in her hands and pressed another kiss to his lips.
"I do love you," she whispered.
"Well, of course you do," he shot back. "You're not the only one who's irresistible, you know."
Vala began to laugh with pure joy. She ran her gaze over his face, finally letting herself see him with the eyes of a woman in love. She really did love him, with her whole heart. And even better than that, he loved her.
"I can't wait for you to get out of here so that I can show you how much I love you," she said with a sexy smile.
"Wow. With that as an incentive, I'll be healed in no time."
"Well, that just might be the case. We put in a call for a healing device." She kissed him a third time.
Smiling, Cam said, "I hope it comes soon."
