CHAPTER FIVE
Sam couldn't believe how nervous she felt as she got off the elevator of Daniel's apartment. She was actually feeling as nervous as she did just before her first date with Jack. She wanted this date to go well. Was that because she didn't want Daniel to be disappointed or because she wanted things to work out between them? Perhaps it was a bit of both. A relationship with Daniel had the potential to be fantastic. She knew that he'd give her his whole heart, just as he had to Sha're. He'd love her without reservation. She couldn't help but wonder what kind of lover he'd be. He was a very passionate man in many ways. If he had that same passion in the bedroom, the lovemaking would probably be spectacular.
Stopping before Daniel's door, Sam paused, then knocked.
When Daniel answered the knock a few seconds later, his breath caught at the sight of Sam in a black cocktail dress. There were far sexier dresses, but just the thought that it was Sam in it and that she was wearing it for him transformed it into the sexiest thing he'd ever laid eyes upon.
"You look so beautiful, Sam," he murmured.
The blonde smiled, feeling far more pleased at the compliment than she had thought she would. "Thank you." She took in the sight of her best friend dressed in a dark grey suit that fit him to perfection. It really drove home how handsome he was. "You look great, too."
"Thanks. Come on in."
Sam stepped inside. When Daniel asked her to come to his place instead of him picking her up, she'd wondered if he had decided to cook for her, but she couldn't smell any food cooking, and the dining table was bare.
"Okay, are you going to tell me now what you're planning?" she asked.
Daniel gave her a little smile. "You'll find out in a moment." He glanced at the coat draped over her arm. "Is it cold outside?"
"A little, but it's not too bad."
"Good. Come on, then."
They left the apartment and walked to the elevator. Sam's curiosity and puzzlement went up when Daniel pressed the button for the top floor instead of the lobby. When they reached that floor, he surprised her again by taking her up one more flight. Realizing that they were going to the roof, she followed him silently. Her third surprise came when he opened the door, and she saw what was sitting on the roof. A fairly sizable greenhouse took up a good portion of it.
"Whose greenhouse is that?"
"The wife of the building's owner."
Daniel led her to the greenhouse. As they stepped inside, the first thing Sam noticed was the significant difference in temperature. And then she noticed the scent, the aroma of hundreds of flowers filling her nostrils. She looked around at the blossoms.
"This is beautiful, Daniel."
With another smile, he guided her down the row between the plants. Halfway down, there was a row going off to the left and right. He turned to the right, and that's when Sam saw the small table set with candles, china, and a gorgeous floral centerpiece that appeared to have been made from flowers grown right there in the greenhouse.
As they came to a halt before it, Sam gazed down at the table, then at Daniel. He was staring at her, and she could tell that he was worried about whether or not she liked what he'd done.
Before she could tell him what she thought, there was a knock on the door.
"That's probably the food," Daniel said. "I'll be right back."
Sam sat down, her eyes going back to the table, then to the beautiful surroundings. Never would she have guessed that Daniel would do something like this. But then, should she really be surprised? Daniel never did anything by half measures. It warmed her deep inside that he'd arranged all of this just for her.
Daniel returned carrying bags bearing the logo of one of the best restaurants in town. He set the bags down and pulled out the food containers.
"I hope you like what I ordered," he said. "I kind of know what you like and don't like from our team dinners, but we don't exactly go to fancy restaurants for those."
"I'm sure that I'll love it."
Daniel served the food, then took his seat. He was really feeling too nervous to eat. He was so afraid that Sam thought this whole thing was way over the top. Maybe he should have just made a reservation at the restaurant.
"Daniel?"
He looked up at her. "Hmm?"
"This is wonderful."
"The food?"
"No, everything. I've been on plenty of dates, but no guy I've ever dated has done something like this for me." She looked straight into his eyes. "Thank you."
All of the tension Daniel had been feeling drained out of him. "You're welcome. I'm . . . I'm really glad that you like it."
They both smiled, then began to eat. After a while, they started to talk. It was casual conversation, not much different from what they'd shared on other occasions. There was a question, though, that Sam was dying to ask, one that was a whole lot more personal.
"Can I ask you something?" she said at last.
"Of course."
"You told me that you've felt this way about me for years."
"And you want to know how long. I think I started feeling that way a long time before I became aware of it. I just couldn't see it because of my grief over Sha're. I know the exact moment when I figured it out, though. It was the night we stayed with Pallen and Evalla on P3X-289."
Sam's mouth fell open. "It was?"
"Yeah." Daniel repeated to her what he told Vala about that night, the night that changed everything for him. "I think you'll understand when I say that I wasn't very happy about the revelation. I knew that you loved Jack and that you and I could never be more than friends. It . . . hurt a lot to feel those things and know that nothing could ever come of it."
"I'm so sorry, Daniel. I wish I'd known."
The archeologist shook his head. "It would have just made things awkward between us, Sam. It was better that you didn't know."
"I can't believe that you felt that way for all these years, and I never had a clue."
"There were times when it wasn't easy to hide. One of the hardest was when you were dating Pete. And then there was when you decided to transfer to R&D so that you'd be closer to Cassie to help her cope with Janet's death."
Sam's breath drew inward sharply. "Oh my God. Daniel, did you transfer to Atlantis because I went off to Nevada?"
The archeologist looked down at the food on his plate. "That was part of it. Jack's promotion was, too. It just felt like there was no longer any reason to stay."
Sam had a thought. "Daniel, if I had asked you not to go, would you still have gone?"
"I'm not sure. I really did want to go to Atlantis, and, even if you had asked me not to, it wouldn't have changed the fact that you were in Nevada, Jack was moving to DC, and Teal'c was off helping to build the new Jaffa Nation."
"Leaving you all alone. We all abandoned you, didn't we."
Daniel shook his head. "No, Sam, you didn't abandon me. Your lives were all just . . . going off in other directions. Let's not talk about that. We should be talking about nice things."
They resumed eating. After a few bites, they started talking again, eventually getting on the subject of other dates they'd had. Daniel recounted his first date, which, surprisingly, didn't happen until he was nineteen.
"I can't believe that you never dated before then," Sam said.
"Well, I was pretty focused on my studies, especially in the beginning. I didn't socialize much in college, not at all during my freshman year."
"Still, I find it hard to believe that some co-ed didn't pounce on you."
Daniel ducked his head in embarrassment, making Sam smile.
"You didn't know me back then," he told her. "I was a geek, a real bookworm. Most college girls aren't interested in someone like that."
"They didn't know what they were missing."
That comment made Daniel's cheeks color faintly. The thought came to Sam that he really was adorable, a gorgeous, brilliant man who still had the capacity to blush when being complimented.
Daniel cleared his throat. "So, what about you?"
"What about me?"
"Your first date."
"Oh. Um, unfortunately, it turned out not to be so great. I was sixteen, and the boy tried to feel me up." Sam grinned. "I made it quite clear that I wasn't that kind of girl. There was no second date."
"That's a shame, I mean that the kid was a jerk."
Sam shrugged. "That's the way it goes sometimes. My next date was much nicer, with a boy named Greg Hampton. He and I dated for a few months, up until I left for the Academy."
As the conversation continued, moving on to first crushes, it suddenly occurred to Sam that she was enjoying this date far more than she had her first date with Jack. One of the reasons was that they were really talking, not just about news topics and casual stuff, but about personal things, stuff that they had never before shared with each other. There was also the fact that, on the first date with Jack, Sam had been trying too hard to enjoy it and not to be disappointed that things weren't as wonderful as she'd imagined they would be. This time, it was different. There were no preconceived notions, no grand expectations, so she was free to just enjoy herself.
But there was more to it than that. With Daniel, it felt natural. Perhaps it was because they were such close friends. They already knew so much about each other and were completely comfortable in each other's company. Instead of this change in their relationship feeling like a gigantic leap, it felt more like just a few steps forward from what they already had together.
Sam mentally paused upon realizing what she'd just been thinking. It was like she was already accepting that this was going to progress into something more, that she and Daniel would definitely be embarking on a romantic relationship. That surprised her. When she came here tonight, she'd known that things might not work out, but that was before Daniel went out of his way to give her a date that was the nicest one she'd ever been on. And it was the nicest one, not just because of its uniqueness. It was the nicest date she'd ever had because the man she was on it with was utterly in love with her and had done everything possible to make this dinner as special and wonderful as it could possibly be. She had to wonder how he talked his landlord into agreeing to this. Then again, this was Daniel she was talking about, the man who could perform miracles of diplomacy.
Daniel found himself studying Sam's face. She'd gone quiet, and there was a little smile on her lips. He hoped that it was because she was really enjoying herself. He desperately wanted this date to be so nice for her that she'd welcome a second one . . . and a third, and four, and. . . .
Trying not to get ahead of himself, he returned his gaze to his food and finished the last few bites. Apparently emerging from whatever thoughts had been occupying her, Sam did the same.
"That was delicious," she commented after the last bite.
"I hope you have some room for dessert."
"Dessert?" Sam looked around, not spying any other containers.
Daniel got up and disappeared around one of the tables full of flowers. When he reappeared, he was holding two slices of chocolate cake.
"Mrs. Jennings baked the cake."
"Mrs. Jennings?"
"My landlord's wife."
Sam began to grin. Ah, so maybe it wasn't a challenge to talk his landlord into allowing this after all.
"Sounds like she likes you, Daniel," she said teasingly.
Embarrassed by the comment, Daniel shrugged. "I'm about the same age as their son, and I guess I look a little like him. She, um . . . was pretty happy when I told her I had a date. She thinks I've been single for too long."
Sam started laughing. She wasn't the least bit surprised that Daniel had charmed his landlord's wife.
The cake was also delicious, and Sam told Daniel to pass her compliments on to the baker. Once the last bite was consumed, they both fell into silence. Daniel really didn't want the date to end, but, at the moment, he couldn't think of a way to extend it. He certainly couldn't invite Sam to join him back in his apartment. That would be way too bold.
Sam, too, didn't want the date to end. Unlike her first date with Jack, she really wanted this one to keep going.
"Um . . . would you like to, uh, go for a walk or something?" Daniel finally asked tentatively.
"Sure, I'd love to," Sam replied without hesitation. Her reply earned her a brilliant smile from her date.
Daniel helped Sam on with her coat, then they left the greenhouse and descended to the ground floor. They stepped outside and began a leisurely walk around the block.
"There's something I've always wondered about," Sam said after a couple of minutes.
"What's that?"
"After I found out that Sha're was given to you, you told me that you tried to return her to her father, but you then realized that it would be terribly embarrassing for her and could cause her a lot of problems. What would you have done if you hadn't fallen in love with her."
"I'm not really sure. If I'd left her there and gone back to Earth with Jack, Kawalsky and Ferretti, she would have had to live with the shame of being rejected by me. I wouldn't have wanted to do that to her. On the other hand, I couldn't have taken her with me. But then, thinking about it, even if I hadn't fallen for Sha're, I might still have chosen to stay on Abydos. I had nothing to return to Earth for."
"I'm sure that the military would have kept you on in the program. You would have been a valuable asset." Sam smiled slightly. "If you had been there, we'd have figured out way sooner that the problem was stellar drift. Who knows how that would have changed things."
"Well, for one thing, we would have made ourselves a target a lot sooner."
"Maybe, although we wouldn't have had the addresses from the map room."
"We might never have met Teal'c."
"Probably not."
They fell silent. After a few seconds, Sam hooked her arm around Daniel's. Surprised, he stared at her and received a smile. Feeling happy, he tentatively rested his hand over the one she had on his arm.
The walk around the block didn't last nearly long enough for either of them. They came to a stop before Daniel's apartment building.
"Well, I guess I should get home," Sam said regretfully.
Daniel searched Sam's eyes. "Thank you, Sam, for giving me this date. It meant a great deal to me."
"Thank you for making it such a lovely date. I really did enjoy it."
Daniel smiled softly. "Good. I'm glad."
"I get to plan the next one."
Daniel's smile widened. "The next one?"
"You bet. No way is this going to be the only one."
A happy little laugh escaped Daniel's lips. "That's really great to hear. So, any idea on when this second date is going to take place?"
"You took two days off, didn't you?"
"Yeah."
"Then we'll do it tomorrow. We could start early and maybe go do something fun together."
Daniel's smile got even bigger. "That sounds great. Come on. I'll walk you to your car."
After unlocking her car door, Sam turned back to Daniel and saw him staring at her intently. There was a look in his eyes, a look that told her he wanted to kiss her. Sam felt her pulse rate go up. Instead of kissing her, however, he took her hand and gave it a little squeeze.
"Good night, Sam. Sweet dreams."
Sam paused a second, then wished him the same thing. She got in her car and drove out of the parking lot.
On the drive home, Sam realized to her surprise that she was quite disappointed that Daniel had not kissed her. Was the reason for her disappointment merely that she was curious about what it would feel like to be kissed by him?
Having no answer to the question, the lieutenant colonel turned her thoughts to what kind of plans she was going to make for hers and Daniel's second date. Whatever they would be, she wanted them to be as great as tonight's date had been.
It was only 8:30 when Sam called Daniel the next morning.
"So, are you all ready for our second date? I'll be there in fifteen minutes." she asked.
Taken by surprise, Daniel replied, "Um, when you said early, I wasn't thinking quite this early."
Sam grinned. "I have plans."
"Plans?"
"Uh huh."
"Well, then, sure. I can't wait to find out what those plans are."
"Great! Be there in a few."
It was Daniel who was grinning when he hung up the phone. He went into the bedroom and quickly changed out of his worn jeans and T-shirt and put on a nice pair of slacks, a light pullover sweater and sport coat. He was staring at the suits in his closet, wondering if he should take one along to change into later, when the doorbell rang. When he opened the door, it was to find Sam on the other side with a big smile on her face.
"Hi," she said. "So, you ready to go?"
"Well, I guess that all depends on what today's plans are. Will I need a suit for later?"
"Nope, what you're wearing is fine."
"Okay, then I'm ready."
As Sam drove, Daniel was burning with curiosity about where they were going. When it became clear that they were heading toward Denver, that curiosity became too strong for him to remain silent any longer.
"Sam, where are we going?"
"I happen to know that there is a new exhibit at the Museum of Art that you're dying to see."
Daniel's face lit with a grin. "The Minoan exhibit!"
"Yep."
"Thanks, Sam. I've been intending to go see it for weeks, but I just never managed to get over there. It's only going to be there for another month."
"I know. I'm eager to see it, too."
They talked the whole way to Denver, Daniel asking Sam questions about the science project that she'd wanted to talk to Jack about. Though he didn't understand everything she said, he listened intently all the same, admiring, as always, her brilliant mind.
At the museum, they went straight to the Minoan exhibit. Sam instantly recognized the style, having seen it before . . . but not someplace there on Earth.
Sam turned to Daniel, who was studying a vase painted with the figure of a man jumping over a bull, a distant look on his face.
"You're thinking of Tuplo and his people," she guessed in a low voice.
"Yeah. I learned quite a bit from them after we resolved their, uh, problem. There are a lot of unanswered questions about the Minoan civilization because so little from it has survived. When I was with Tuplo, I learned things that would vastly expand our knowledge of the Minoans, if I could pass it on."
"I wish you could do that. I'd love to see your name on all the papers that you've no doubt already composed in your head."
Daniel smiled. "I do admit that I've composed a few. I even put some down on paper. But what about you? I bet you have some scientific papers that you're itching to publish."
"Oh, yes. Tons of them."
"You and I definitely have that in common, two frustrated scientists who'd love to turn our respective scientific communities upside down with all the stuff we know that they don't."
Sam laughed. "You've got that right."
They slowly strolled through the exhibit, Daniel quietly sharing his knowledge of the culture that created these pieces of art, dropping his voice to little more than a whisper whenever he imparted facts that no archeologist outside the Stargate Program knew. Sam found herself fascinated by it all, by the beauty and mystery of the long dead civilization. Though archeology and anthropology were never fields that she had a great interest in, Daniel's deep love and passion for those things were in every word he spoke and brought the culture to life for her.
After going through the Minoan exhibit, they moved on to the rest of the museum. Sam had been there before, but being in the company of Daniel, who seemed to have knowledge of every culture and time period represented, gave her a fresh perspective and made her enjoy it even more.
They ate lunch in the museum's cafeteria.
"So, is this to be our only meal on this date?" Daniel asked, his eyes twinkling. "If so, we should have brought with us some candles and a CD player with romantic music."
Sam grinned. "Nope. There will be another meal. There won't be any candles, but I'm sure that there will be music."
Daniel's gaze met hers for a long moment. "Good."
They stayed at the museum until closing time. It being too early for dinner, they went to a mall and did some "window" shopping. As they passed a jewelry store, Daniel found himself far more interested in the display than he would have been before today. He wondered what Sam would like in jewelry. He recalled the earrings and necklace that she'd worn on their first date, simple, yet pretty. Perhaps she'd like pearls.
Realizing that it was way too early in the relationship to be thinking about buying Sam jewelry, Daniel removed his gaze from the display.
Leaving the mall without having purchased anything, they got back on the road. When they stopped again, it was in the parking lot of a quaint little Italian restaurant.
"This looks nice," Daniel said. "How'd you find out about it?"
Sam hesitated before replying. "Um, Pete took me here once."
"Oh."
The awkwardness lasted only a few seconds. Getting past it, they went inside. Sam had made a reservation, so they were taken right to a table. Once their meals were ordered, Daniel began looking about, liking the decor and feel of the place, which was warm and intimate. He thought of Sam and Pete eating here.
"Have you ever talked to him?" he asked. "Pete, I mean."
"No, not since we broke up. It ended so badly that it would have been awkward if we'd ever seen each other again."
Daniel searched her eyes. "I never asked this before because I figured it was none of my business. When you started dating Pete, I wondered about. . . ."
"Jack?"
"Yeah."
Sam sighed. "Jack and I talked about this up at the cabin. Pete was a desperate attempt on my part to have a life outside the program, to have someone in that life. I'd recently done some soul searching and came to the conclusion that I needed to stop the whole nonsense about wanting a man I thought I could never have. Dating Pete was a mistake, one I came to regret."
Daniel stared down into the contents of his glass. "When you told me about him, it . . . really hurt. I'd known for months that what I felt for you would always be unrequited, but finding out that you had a man in your life with whom you were actually having a relationship was so much worse."
Sam laid her hand over his. He looked up to see her gazing at him with a tender, caring expression.
"I'm so sorry, Daniel."
"It wasn't your fault, Sam. You didn't make me fall in love with you. I did that all on my own, although I suppose it's no great surprise that I did. You are an amazing and beautiful woman."
Very pleased by the sincerely spoken compliment, Sam gave him a smile. As he gazed back at her, she could actually see the love in his eyes. It made her feel strangely warm inside. It also made her realize that she should have known from the moment Jack asked her out that something wasn't right. She never saw the love light in his eyes, not like she did when they used to share secret glances from time to time.
"Hey," Daniel said softly. "Are you okay?"
"Hmm? Oh. Yes, I'm fine. I was just thinking about my own blindness and stupidity."
"About what?"
"Jack. I just should have known way sooner than I did that things were no longer the same between us."
"Don't beat yourself up over it, Sam. I think every member of the human race has, at one time or another, failed to see the truth about something. I did, too. Like I told you before, I was so stuck in my grief over Sha're that I failed to see that I was falling in love with you."
Sam gazed at him. "You don't know when it started happening?"
When Daniel's eyes dropped back to the table, and he didn't respond, Sam wondered what was wrong.
"Daniel?"
"I never really knew before. I wondered, but I didn't think back on the years and try to pinpoint a time when it must have started. But, after you left last night, I really got to thinking about it, and. . . ."
"And what?"
"I'm ashamed to admit that I think it started happening even before Sha're died."
That really shocked Sam. Daniel had been so in love with his wife. It was hard to believe that he could have had feelings for any other woman.
"It was seeing you in that blue dress on Simarka," Daniel said. "You looked so beautiful. You took my breath away. I couldn't take my eyes off of you. Later on, I chalked it up to a natural reaction to seeing you looking so different from what I was used to, but now I know that it was more than that. Looking back on everything now that I can be honest with myself, there were other incidents as well, feelings I had that I shouldn't have if all you were to me was a friend and teammate." Daniel finally met Sam's eyes. "I want you to understand that I loved Sha're very much. If I had been able to save her, we'd have gone back to Abydos, and I'd have lived the rest of my life there with her. But, right from the start, you and I had a. . . ."
"Connection?"
"Yeah." Daniel smiled. "I bet that if I hadn't been married when we met, I'd have fallen for you right away."
Sam thought about that. If Daniel had not been married when they met and had asked her out, would she have accepted? Absolutely. She wouldn't have hesitated an instant. After all, she'd known even before she met him that she would like him, and that belief was proven to be correct in the map room on Abydos.
How very different things would have been if they had begun a relationship way back then. Would they still be together? That was something she didn't know, though she had a feeling that they would be.
They moved on to more casual conversation, which continued after their meal arrived and kept right on going after every bite had been eaten. Finally, they decided that they really did need to get going, especially since they had a long drive home.
There were long moments of companionable silence on the drive back to Colorado Springs, both of them feeling comfortable enough in each other's presence that they didn't feel the need to fill the silence.
It was quite late by the time Sam pulled up to Daniel's apartment building. She turned off the motor and smiled at him.
"Thank you, Sam," he said. "This was a wonderful day . . . and a fantastic second date."
"Yes, it was," she agreed wholeheartedly.
Daniel searched her eyes. "Well, I'd better get inside. It's late, and we both have to work tomorrow."
Yet again, Sam saw in Daniel's eyes the desire to kiss her, and, yet again, he did not follow through on that desire. Instead, he got out of the car, waved at her one last time, and walked into his apartment building. Once he'd reached the privacy of his apartment, Daniel closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath. At the end of their first date, he had very much wanted to kiss Sam. At the end of this date, that desire was almost too strong to resist. But he was afraid to take that step, afraid that she would think he was moving too fast. No, that wasn't what truly scared him. What he really feared was that she would feel nothing when he kissed her and decide that there was no point in continuing to date him.
But, sooner or later, that line would have to be crossed, and, when it was, it would be a real test of his self-control.
Thinking about what their third date might bring, Daniel headed off to his bedroom.
