Defying the Odds - Chapter Five

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Defying the Odds - Chapter Five

Postby Stormwing on Mon Aug 08, 2011 4:42 pm

This was a nice break in the emotional angst so far.
It is nice to know that Daniel really doesn't want to die anymore and that he has started to forgive himself of some of his guilt though it might ever fully go away. Typical that it took an almost face plant down the side of the hill to wake him up to that fact.
ooo I can't wait for the conversation between Daniel and Sam or not conversation ;)
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Re: Defying the Odds - Chapter Five

Postby MaureenT on Mon Aug 08, 2011 7:22 pm

Stormwing wrote:This was a nice break in the emotional angst so far.
It is nice to know that Daniel really doesn't want to die anymore and that he has started to forgive himself of some of his guilt though it might ever fully go away. Typical that it took an almost face plant down the side of the hill to wake him up to that fact.
ooo I can't wait for the conversation between Daniel and Sam or not conversation ;)

Daniel never wanted to die. He just wished that he'd died instead of Sha're, a wish that many, many people who've lost a spouse have had. If he'd wanted to die, he wouldn't have gone to Jack's cabin to sort things out and figure out how he was going to start a new life for himself. Those are not the actions of someone who wishes they were dead. I'm not sure what in the story made you think that Daniel wanted to die. Was it that very brief moment on his balcony? That was simply a transitory thought brought on by Daniel hitting rock bottom. What's important is that he quickly pulled back from the edge and took a step to help himself.

There will be a conversation between Daniel and Sam, more than one, in fact. They are both going to learn things that will blow their minds.
Dr. Markov: If you're implying that everything Russian-made is poor quality, actually the sub is Swiss.
Daniel: So they occasionally catch fire, but they keep perfect time? Sorry. I think I've been hanging around Jack O'Neill too much.

-- From the Stargate SG-1 episode "Watergate."
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Re: Defying the Odds - Chapter Five

Postby Stormwing on Mon Aug 08, 2011 9:55 pm

MaureenT wrote:Daniel never wanted to die. He just wished that he'd died instead of Sha're, a wish that many, many people who've lost a spouse have had. If he'd wanted to die, he wouldn't have gone to Jack's cabin to sort things out and figure out how he was going to start a new life for himself. Those are not the actions of someone who wishes they were dead. I'm not sure what in the story made you think that Daniel wanted to die. Was it that very brief moment on his balcony? That was simply a transitory thought brought on by Daniel hitting rock bottom. What's important is that he quickly pulled back from the edge and took a step to help himself.


Yeah I think I thought it up one way in my head but it came across differently after I wrote it down. I think I just meant in the way, where when the person is loosely in control of their mental faculties they may think that it is what they want. Where here the possibility of serious injury/Death was sudden and out of his control but instead of giving up he fought to prevent it.

The archeologist thought about what went through his mind as he fell, the intense, adrenaline-pumping fear of death. He had not wanted to die. Despite all the anguish and guilt he had been suffering and his wish that he had died instead of Sha're, the desire for life had kicked in with a vengeance.

Daniel drew in a deep breath and slowly let it out. For the first time since receiving the devastating news, he felt like he really was going to get through this. He would survive. He would move on and build a new life. He would never forgive himself for being the one to take Sha're's life, but he would learn to accept the guilt.


I think I will just leave it at that XD if I try to work out my own thought process anymore I might get lost in my own head.
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Re: Defying the Odds - Chapter Five

Postby DizzyDrea on Mon Aug 08, 2011 10:40 pm

I find it highly amusing that the first place Daniel thinks about going to be alone and think is Jack's cabin, because it's the last place Jack would think to look for him. He was being so smart. Too bad nobody told him about the fish...or lack thereof.

I'm glad that Daniel's remembered what really happened, and that he's beginning to forgive himself for what happened. It's something he'll always carry with him--like Jack does with his son's death--but he doesn't have to let it define who he is. I think when he figures that out, he'll stop running. He's just got to get to a point where he's not running away from the pain anymore, because it seems like he's been doing that all his life. At some point, he's going to have to stop running and face the pain and learn how to live with it without letting it consume him.

That should be an interesting conversation with Sam, though. Will she reveal what she feels for him? And when will he realize that he feels more than friendship for her? And if he does, will he let himself feel it, or just run away because he feels guilty? :think:

Can I ask a question? Purely for curiosity's sake, how many chapters do you have planned? I don't remember if you've said, so I'm just trying to figure out how far in we are, and how far we have yet to go. If you'd rather not spoil the surprise, I guess I'll just have to manage...

And may I say, it's been such a nice day. I had five different fics land in my inbox today, from five different authors. What an embarassment of riches! So, thanks for making my Monday!
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Re: Defying the Odds - Chapter Five

Postby MaureenT on Tue Aug 09, 2011 4:04 pm

Stormwing wrote:Yeah I think I thought it up one way in my head but it came across differently after I wrote it down. I think I just meant in the way, where when the person is loosely in control of their mental faculties they may think that it is what they want. Where here the possibility of serious injury/Death was sudden and out of his control but instead of giving up he fought to prevent it.

Actually, if you'd just left out the "anymore" in your first sentence, it would have been fine. That word implied that Daniel had wanted to die, but, now, didn't, which is not the case.

The archeologist thought about what went through his mind as he fell, the intense, adrenaline-pumping fear of death. He had not wanted to die. Despite all the anguish and guilt he had been suffering and his wish that he had died instead of Sha're, the desire for life had kicked in with a vengeance.

Daniel drew in a deep breath and slowly let it out. For the first time since receiving the devastating news, he felt like he really was going to get through this. He would survive. He would move on and build a new life. He would never forgive himself for being the one to take Sha're's life, but he would learn to accept the guilt.

Those paragraphs are not implying that, before the near-fall, Daniel had a wish for death, not even a subconscious one. What it actually was was proof to him that, despite all the things he'd been going through, he had not lost his will to live. Having that proven to him, experiencing that intense moment where he felt the fear of death, was what he needed to pull himself up out of the pit of grief and guilt and take his first emotional step toward healing. Up until then, the steps he'd taken forward were psychological. Emotionally, he hadn't really made any progress. He'd just been coping, which isn't the same as healing. Now, he's ready to start healing.
Dr. Markov: If you're implying that everything Russian-made is poor quality, actually the sub is Swiss.
Daniel: So they occasionally catch fire, but they keep perfect time? Sorry. I think I've been hanging around Jack O'Neill too much.

-- From the Stargate SG-1 episode "Watergate."
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Re: Defying the Odds - Chapter Five

Postby MaureenT on Tue Aug 09, 2011 4:53 pm

DizzyDrea wrote:I find it highly amusing that the first place Daniel thinks about going to be alone and think is Jack's cabin, because it's the last place Jack would think to look for him. He was being so smart. Too bad nobody told him about the fish...or lack thereof.

If Jack hadn't found out that Daniel bought fishing gear, he would never have considered that Daniel would go to his cabin, and with good reason. It's really not where anyone would have thought he'd go. But it wasn't the first place Daniel thought of going. He went through several options in his mind.

DizzyDrea wrote:I'm glad that Daniel's remembered what really happened, and that he's beginning to forgive himself for what happened. It's something he'll always carry with him--like Jack does with his son's death--but he doesn't have to let it define who he is. I think when he figures that out, he'll stop running. He's just got to get to a point where he's not running away from the pain anymore, because it seems like he's been doing that all his life. At some point, he's going to have to stop running and face the pain and learn how to live with it without letting it consume him.

Daniel is the kind of person who stuffs his pain down in a deep, dark hole in his psyche and puts a lid on it. Forever in a Day is proof of that. Except for the brief moments when his grief leaked through, he was clearly repressing it. His voice was monotone, his face emotionless. He was the very picture of someone who was bottling the pain up inside and not letting it out. Yes, what we saw in the episode was all just a vision, but it was a true representation of how he'd have reacted if it was real. And look at how he was when Janet died. Sam was balling her eyes out, but Daniel locked it up inside until he couldn't anymore. I'll never forget the look on his face while he was typing on the computer when Bregman walked in, no doubt writing his mission report. He looked like he was fighting with every ounce of will power he had to keep it together.

DizzyDrea wrote:That should be an interesting conversation with Sam, though. Will she reveal what she feels for him? And when will he realize that he feels more than friendship for her? And if he does, will he let himself feel it, or just run away because he feels guilty? :think:

Oh, it'll be interesting all right . . . as will a conversation they have later on. :D So what exactly does Daniel feel for Sam? Obviously, he's now feeling sexual attraction to her, but is there more? He is still very much in love with Sha're. Have no doubt of that. What Daniel does and does not feel for Sam is going to breed a lot of confusion, questions, and more than a little angst.

DizzyDrea wrote:Can I ask a question? Purely for curiosity's sake, how many chapters do you have planned? I don't remember if you've said, so I'm just trying to figure out how far in we are, and how far we have yet to go. If you'd rather not spoil the surprise, I guess I'll just have to manage...

I do not have any set number of chapters planned. Except for the really short stories, I never do, although I sometimes have a roundabout idea on how many I think it will be (which usually proves to be wrong). I don't even have that with this one. As Chaka would say, the story will be as long as it is. :D I can tell you that it is not even close to being near the end. In the original author's notes I said that, in some ways, this story will be unlike any other Daniel/Sam fic I've ever written, and I meant it. Some of the hurtles that they will have to overcome before finding their "happily ever after" are unlike what they've faced in my other stories. There is a good reason why I entitled the fanfic "Defying the Odds."

DizzyDrea wrote:And may I say, it's been such a nice day. I had five different fics land in my inbox today, from five different authors. What an embarassment of riches! So, thanks for making my Monday!

You are very welcome. :)
Dr. Markov: If you're implying that everything Russian-made is poor quality, actually the sub is Swiss.
Daniel: So they occasionally catch fire, but they keep perfect time? Sorry. I think I've been hanging around Jack O'Neill too much.

-- From the Stargate SG-1 episode "Watergate."
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