CHAPTER SEVEN

For the first time, Danny slept through the night, not a single nightmare disturbing him.  Daniel was extremely pleased, lifting his mood way up.  His teammates could tell how happy he was at breakfast and asked him for the reason.  When he told them, they were also delighted.

For the second afternoon in a row, Danny and SG-1 went up to the top of the mountain.  This time, however, Jack had brought a frisbee, and they spent an hour tossing it back and forth.  Sometimes, they had to go hunting for it when someone failed to catch it and it went sailing off into the trees.

At one point, the frisbee sailed right between Danny and Sam, and they both went after it.  They grabbed it at the same time and had a playful tug-of-war, which ended when Sam suddenly grabbed the boy and began tickling him.  His squeals and giggles were a wonderful thing to hear.  Daniel finally ran over and rescued his clone, and the two of them ganged up on Sam, now tickling her.  And then Danny decided that Daniel needed tickling, too.  They were all breathless by the time the tickling was over.

Jack looked around at his teammates, happy with what he saw.  They were all relaxed and enjoying themselves, their minds not on work or the worries of the job.  His gaze turned to the little boy who was the reason for this change in the team.  As an adult, Daniel had the ability to change people for the better, and it appeared that it was a gift the young Daniel had as well.

At that moment, Jack realized that they actually owed the Cedarnans a big thank-you.  If they had not cloned Daniel, this joy would not be in SG-1's lives.  Danny's presence had given all of them something they needed, a way to forget their worries and cares and just be a bunch of friends having a good time.

Jack's happy thoughts were shattered a moment later as an Air Force jet streaked by high above, a thunderous sonic boom filling the air.  Danny started badly.  In the next instant, his eyes turned wild, staring at nothing as he started to tremble.  By the time Daniel reached him, he was shaking violently, his breathing coming fast and hard.

"Mommy!  Daddy!" he screamed, a wail rising out of his throat like that of a tortured animal.

"Ah, damn!" Jack cursed, rushing forward.  Daniel was tightly holding the boy, who was struggling in his arms, screaming for his parents.  Then, all of a sudden, he went limp.

Daniel lifted the unconscious child into his arms and ran down to the base entrance, his teammates right behind him.  Janet hurried forward when she saw them come into the infirmary.

"What happened?" she asked.

"Flashback," Jack replied tightly, recognizing what he'd seen.  He was intimately familiar with the experience.

"Put him on a bed," the doctor instructed.

"I was hoping this wouldn't happen to him," Daniel whispered as Janet examined Danny.  "I was hoping it wouldn't be like it was for me."

"You had flashbacks?" Sam asked.

The archeologist nodded.  "For several months after it happened.  They were usually triggered by deep, loud noises, anything that bore a resemblance to the sound of the coverstone falling."

"But you got past them, Daniel," Jack said, "and so will Danny."

"I know.  I just wish that he didn't have to go through that."

Janet came up to them.  "I think he's going to be all right.  He's sleeping now.  When he wakes up, he may or may not remember the flashback.  It would be best if he wakes up in an environment that he feels safe in."

"I'll take him back to our quarters," Daniel said.

In their quarters, Daniel laid Danny on the bed, covering him up after removing his shoes.  Wanting to be right beside the boy when he awoke, Daniel took off his own shoes and settled on the bed next to the child, his back against the headboard.  The rest of SG-1 looked at them worriedly.

"Is there anything we can get for you, Daniel?" Sam inquired.

"No, I'm okay.  Thanks."

"Would you like us to stay?" Jack asked.

Daniel shook his head.  "No, that's not necessary.  I'm just going to stay here and wait for him to wake up.  You guys need to get back to work."

"Work can wait," Jack declared.

Daniel looked at Teal'c.  "Don't you have a class to teach?"

"It can be cancelled," the Jaffa replied.

"No, don't do that.  It's okay.  Really.  I'll be fine."

Reluctantly, Daniel's teammates left.  Sam went to her lab and attempted to get some work done, but her mind kept filling with the sight of Danny in the throes of the flashback.  Though she'd never had one herself, at least not one that was of her own memories, she'd had a friend in the service who suffered from them after a rough tour of duty.  But it was a hundred times worse to witness a child going through one.

Finally, Sam gave up trying to work and went back to Daniel and Danny's quarters.  Daniel was still on the bed with his clone when she walked it.

"Sam?" he inquired, surprised.

"Couldn't work," she explained simply, picking up a chair and placing it by the bed next to Daniel.  "Has he stirred at all?"

"No."  Daniel looked at the boy sadly.

Sam took his hand.  "Hey.  He'll be okay, Daniel.  He's a tough kid, just like you were."

"I made a mistake, Sam.  He seemed to be doing so well.  I got complacent, forgot that it's still going to be a long time before he really is all right."  Daniel swallowed tightly, his eyes not leaving Danny.  "It's just . . . it's just so hard to watch him go through this.  I want to take it all away, to take that memory out of his mind.  After Mom and Dad were killed, you have no idea how many times I wished that I could forget, just blank it all out of my mind.  For the longest time, that's all I remembered about my parents, how they died.  It took a very long time before I could start thinking about the other things, the good things."

Sam's grip tightened on Daniel's hand.  "I'm so sorry, Daniel.  I can't even imagine what it was like for you.  Mom's death hit me really hard, but if I had actually seen her die. . . ."  Her voice broke off.  "I don't want to think about what that would have done to me."

Sam reached up and touched Daniel's face.  Surprised, he turned to her, meeting her gaze.  His eyes were filled with tears on the verge of falling.

"It's okay, Daniel," Sam said in an unsteady voice.  "It's okay to cry."

Daniel's chest heaved, his breath catching on a quiet sob.  Sam left the chair and wrapped her arms around him as, for the first time since the day his parents died, Daniel let himself cry for them in someone's presence.  Sam held on, her own tears wetting her friend's hair.

It was a couple of minutes before Daniel regained control.  Feeling uncomfortable and a little ashamed at losing control like that, he wiped his face, not meeting Sam's eyes.

"I'm sorry," he murmured.

"Why?  Daniel, I'm your friend.  You and I have been through so much together.  You've been there for me when I cried, when I really needed a friend.  I want to be there for you when you do.  Long ago, you made me realize that I didn't have to stay detached, that I didn't have to be the strong, tough officer all the time.  You don't have to be tough and strong all the time either, Daniel, especially not with us.  We won't think any less of you if you're not."

Daniel sighed softly.  "I know, Sam.  I just. . . .  After they died, I grew up believing that I needed to be strong, independent, not showing that I needed anyone.  I couldn't need anyone, because I always knew that every family that fostered me would only be temporary.  I couldn't let myself love them, because I'd just have to say goodbye in a few months, maybe a year, if things worked out a little better.  As soon as I graduated high school at fifteen, I asked to be made an emancipated adult.  I had a full college scholarship and stayed in one of the dorms, so I didn't have to worry about many expenses, and a student loan took care of what expenses there were."

Daniel's gaze drifted off in remembrance.  "The day I became emancipated was such a relief to me.  No more bouncing from family to family, no more learning the rules of a new household, no more having to become used to a new set of strangers.  I was free to concentrate on my studies, on the things that I loved."

Hearing about Daniel's childhood made Sam feel so sad, but it also filled her with wonder.  How is it that someone who went through that kind of childhood could grow up to be so compassionate and self-sacrificing, caring more for the welfare of others than himself, wanting so much to help others that he'd go through anything to do so, even sacrificing his own life.  It was nothing short of a miracle.

"Have I ever told you, Daniel, that I am very proud of you?" Sam asked softly.

Surprised, Daniel stared at her.  "What?  I, um . . . why would you be proud?"

"Because you're who you are, somebody I am proud and honored to have as a friend and as a teammate."

Blushing, Daniel looked away.

Sam smiled.  He was just too darn cute when he got embarrassed. 

"I could sure use some coffee," Daniel commented after a moment.

"Actually, so could I.  How about if I go get us some?"

"Sure.  Thanks."

After Sam left, Daniel looked down at the child sleeping beside him.  Strangely, he felt better after having let himself cry.  He felt . . . lighter.  Daniel realized that, for all these years, the weight of grief over his parents' death had still been there in his heart, buried and almost forgotten until the Keeper on P7J-989 dug it up, then buried once again afterwards.  No one had given him the comfort he really needed, the pain never shared with anybody, and so the pain had never really gone away.  Now that he had finally done those things, some of the weight had at last been lifted.

Daniel felt a movement and turned his attention back to Danny.  The boy stirred again, his eyes slowly opening.  For a moment, he looked confused, uncertain.  Then remembrance filled his face, his eyes pooling with tears.  Daniel pulled him close.

"It's all right, Danny.  I know what you're feeling, and it's okay.  It's okay.  Just let it all out."

Danny began to cry in earnest.  "It fell," he sobbed.  "It fell."

Daniel held him a little tighter.  "I know, Danny.  It fell, and you couldn't stop it."

"I want my mom and dad," Danny cried.

"God, Danny.  I know you do.  I'd do anything in the world if I could give them to you."

As Danny wept heartbrokenly, Daniel soothed him as best as he was able.  When Sam came in and saw what was happening, she set down the cups of coffee and went to the other side of the bed.  She put her arms around Danny as well, laying her cheek upon the back of his head, whispering her own soothing words and sounds.

The three of them stayed like that for a long time, until Danny's crying quieted.  Sam sat up, her eyes remaining on the child.  A short while later, he drifted back to sleep, emotionally exhausted.

"He spoke, Sam," Daniel said.

Sam looked at him.  "What?"

"He spoke.  Just before you came in."

Sam smiled.  "He did?"

Daniel returned the smile.  "Yeah.  It's the best thing I could have hoped for."

"That's great, Daniel.  It's wonderful."

Daniel's smile softened.  "He really is going to be okay."

"Yes.  Yes, he is."

When Danny awoke, he was very subdued and not speaking, and Daniel was afraid that he had lapsed back into silence.  He put the boy on his lap.

"Danny, will you talk to me?  I know that maybe you're afraid or that you don't want to talk, but it's safe.  I promise.  I'd really like for you to talk with me."

The boy said nothing, staring down at his hands.  After a moment, Daniel gave a silent, sad sigh and brushed a hand through Danny's hair.  "It's okay, Danny.  You don't have to talk until you're ready."  He turned away and began reaching for the phone to call his teammates and let them know that Danny was awake.

"Are you going to take care of me?" came a tiny, barely audible whisper.

Feeling almost delirious with relief, Daniel had to keep his voice calm and quiet with an effort.  "Are you asking if you're going to come live with me?"

The little boy nodded.

"Yes, you are, once we're not staying here on the base anymore."

"For always?"  This question was only slightly louder than the last.

"Well, at least until you're all grown up and get a place of your own."  Daniel paused a moment.  "Will that be all right?  I do want you to come live with me, Danny.  It would be just the two of us, except when Jack, Sam, Teal'c or Janet come to visit."

Danny took a moment to respond.  When he did, it was with a nod of the head.  He then wrapped his arms around the archeologist's waist.  Daniel returned the hug.  After a few seconds, he felt wetness on his shirt.

"Why did they have to die?" Danny asked, crying.

"Oh, Danny.  It was an accident, just a terrible accident.  Sometimes, things like that just happen.  The chain holding the coverstone broke.  I don't know for sure why.  Maybe it was too weak to hold the weight.  Maybe it was damaged."

"If I could have run real fast and pulled them out before it fell, they would be all right."

Daniel closed his eyes.  For so long, he had run the events of that day through his mind over and over again, trying to figure out what he could have done to save his family.  The Keeper had wanted him to relive it repeatedly, trying endlessly to save his parents.  But the truth was that he couldn't have saved them, not unless he could have foreseen the future and kept them from going to the museum.

"Danny, it happened too quickly," he told his clone.  "Nobody could have run that fast.  And, if you had tried, you might have been killed, too.  I know you wish so much that it had never happened, but it did, and nothing can change that.  Your mom and dad loved you very much, and they'd want you to live and be happy."  Daniel tightened his hold.  "So do I."

Danny lifted his eyes to meet Daniel's.  "I don't want you to go away, too."

"I don't want to go away either, and I hope that doesn't happen for a very long time, but. . . ."  Daniel paused, not sure if he should say the next words, words that were true, but not what a grieving child would want to hear.  Yet to lie to Danny might only cause further damage if something ever happened to Daniel.  "I hope that I will be here for a long time to come, until I'm very old, but I can't promise that nothing will ever happen to me.  I wish I could."  He brushed his fingers over the boy's cheek.  "But, for as long as I am here, you will have a home with me."  He put on a smile.  "Well, at least until I'm so old and senile that you have to put me in a home for old people."

That last comment earned a barely discernable smile from Danny.

"Would you like to eat something?  It's almost dinnertime.  We can either eat in the commissary or I can ask somebody to bring something here."

Danny thought about it for a little while.  "We can go there."

"Would you like me to call Sam, Jack and Teal'c so they can join us?"

Upon getting a nod from Danny, Daniel called his teammates, who all said that they'd meet the two for dinner.

As soon as Sam saw Danny, she knelt and gave him a big hug.

"Hey, there, kiddo.  How are you doing?" Jack asked, keeping his tone light, though he had the urge to hug the boy as well.

"Okay," Danny replied, surprising both Jack and Teal'c and making Sam smile.

"It is good to hear you speak, young Daniel Jackson," the Jaffa said with a pleased expression.

"Yeah, but you know what this means," Jack responded, delighted but hiding it well.

"What's that, sir?" Sam asked.

"Well, if this Daniel Jackson," he laid a hand on Danny's shoulder, "is like that Daniel Jackson," he pointed at Daniel, "we're now going to have two people talking a mile a minute.  My head is going to explode for sure.  And I don't even want to think about what's going to happen after Danny becomes an archeologist, too.  One archeologist by the name of Daniel Jackson is already too much for me to handle."

Daniel looked down at his clone.  "When we get back to my office, I'll have to teach you how to train colonels, Danny.  That's an important thing to know."

Sam had to clamp down on a laugh.

"Funny, Daniel," Jack said sarcastically.  He looked at Danny.  "Don't you listen to him, kid.  He only thinks he's trained me, when, actually, I've been lulling him into a false sense of security, waiting for the right time to strike back."

"Ah, and when's that going to be, Jack?" Daniel asked.  "Going on six and a half years now.  Waiting until we're all retired?"

"I was thinking of when we're all in the old folks home.  You won't be able to outrun me in a wheelchair."

"You guys are funny," Danny piped up, not really smiling, but looking a little happier.

"Ah, gotta love an appreciative audience," Jack said.  "Come on.  Let's eat."

Danny wasn't in the mood to play after dinner, so Sam sat on the bed with him and read aloud a book that she got for him.  Jack was playing chess with Teal'c, while Daniel watched.  The archeologist had been the one to teach the Jaffa the game and enjoyed watching him beat Jack.

Danny fell asleep before Sam finished the book.  Daniel picked him up and held him as Sam pulled back the covers.  Together, they got Danny into his pajamas and tucked him in, then Daniel's teammates said good night.

The next morning, SG-1 was called to another briefing about Cedarna.  Like before, Teal'c watched over Danny, this time doing so in Daniel's quarters.

"Well, I've got some good news," Janet announced when the briefing began.  "Like I suspected, there is a chemical in the soil that counteracts the spermicide.  We've managed to isolate it, and I believe that we'll be able to synthesize it, though we'll have to conduct tests on the synthesized chemical to make sure it's safe.  In the meantime, there's a high enough concentration of the natural chemical in the soil that we should be able to extract enough from a relatively small amount of soil to supply the Cedarnans for several weeks at a time.  If they add it to the water they drink and use for irrigation, it will neutralize the spermicide."

"Will it also reverse the effects in their bodies?" Sam asked.

"Unfortunately, the level that's present in their bodies is so high that it would take massive doses of the neutralizer to get rid of it.  It wouldn't be safe to give them that high a dose all at once.  Small injections over the course of several years may work, but I really can't say for sure how many years it would take to completely rid their bodies of the chemical.  I'm pretty sure that the children they have now would be mostly free of it by the time they reach maturity.  As for the adults . . . those in their early twenties will likely be clean before they are past their reproductive years.  And, if this works as I believe it will, as their bodies are gradually cleansed of the chemical, sperm count should slowly rise, increasing the odds of conception.  I'd say the chances are good that, within the next twelve to fifteen years, their population will be able to start recovering from this."

"That's great news," Daniel said, relieved.  Though it would take a while, the streets of Cedarna would once again be filled with the laughter of children.  "We need to go back there and let them know."

"Doctor Fraiser, how long do you think it will be before you have enough of the neutralizer to start treating the water?" Hammond asked.

"That's hard to say.  Extracting the neutralizer isn't a quick process.  Once we get a good supply of the soil, I'll have a better idea.  If I had to guess, I'd say a week or two before we have enough for the drinking water and to begin inoculations on the entire population, longer for the irrigation water.  Of course, they'll have to build some kind of water treatment facility so that the neutralizer can be added to the water before it's piped into the fields."

"We can help them with that," Sam said.  "It wouldn't be all that much different from water treatment plants we have on Earth."

"Wouldn't it be easier just to move them all to another planet?" Jack asked.

"Probably so," Daniel replied, "but another planet wouldn't have that weapon, which has protected them from the Goa'uld all these centuries.  We'll have to ask them what they want to do.  In the end, it's their decision."

Hammond nodded.  "Very well.  We'll schedule a mission back to the planet for tomorrow morning.  If the people choose to stay, we can get started on helping them build a treatment plant and extracting the neutralizer from the soil.  Ideally, we'd want to give them the ability to do the extraction themselves."

Daniel had a thought.  "Janet, we know that this spermicide is in the water, but where is it coming from?  We figured that it wasn't from the rain or snow, so maybe the chemical is being leached from something, some kind of mineral in the higher elevations where the rivers originate."

Sam nodded.  "That's possible."

"So?" Jack questioned.

"If it isn't coming from the rain, they can set up water storage tanks that are fed by rainwater, they can set up water storage tanks that are fed by rainwater," Daniel replied.  "Then, in the drier seasons, they can use that water for their crops.  Collecting and storing rainwater is done by civilizations around the world, especially island nations where rain is the only source of domestic water."

"Great idea, Daniel," Sam responded, smiling.  "Then they wouldn't be as dependant on the treated water."

"All right, we'll schedule the mission for tomorrow at 0800 hours," Hammond said.  He looked at Jack.  "Will SG-1 be returning or would you prefer to assign another team, Colonel?"

Jack met Daniel's eyes.  "We'll go, sir.  We might as well finish what we started."

Hammond nodded and turned to Daniel.  "How is Danny doing?  I heard about the flashback he had yesterday.  It's terrible enough for something like that to happen to an adult, let alone a child."

"He's doing better, sir, though he's still a little subdued.  He's talking now, which is a big step forward.  I didn't talk for three months."

The general smiled.  "That is good news.  Please keep me informed of his progress."  His smile got slightly bigger.  "And if you need someone to watch him while you're off-world tomorrow, I'm sure I could spare a few hours."

Surprised, Daniel returned the smile.  "Thank you, sir.  I might take you up on that.  I don't know if Janet will be able to watch him."

"I might not be able to, Daniel," the doctor responded.  "We've got several patients in the infirmary right now, three of whom are serious."

SG-1 left the briefing room and went to Daniel's quarters.  There was no Kel'no'reeming going on when they got there.  Instead, even more surprisingly, Teal'c appeared to be teaching Danny something that looked very much like Tai Chi.  Daniel, Sam and Jack watched the Jaffa and the boy go through a series of graceful arm, leg and body movements, Teal'c guiding the child where necessary.

"Wow, that's beautiful," Sam said when they halted.

"Yes, it is," Daniel agreed.  He'd have to ask Teal'c more about it later.  Right now, he was more interested in Danny.  The boy appeared to be doing a lot better than he was when Daniel left this morning.  He'd woken up twice the night before because of nightmares and had been pretty withdrawn, enough that Daniel had been tempted to ask that the briefing be rescheduled.

The archeologist had to wonder if he had Teal'c to thank for the difference he was now seeing in his clone.  Among other things, Tai Chi was recognized as a way of relieving stress.  It was called a form of meditation by some people.

"How are you doing, Danny?" he asked.

"Okay.  Teal'c said that I might feel better if we did some of the Jaffa Tai Chi."

"Jaffa Tai Chi?" Sam repeated.

"That's not what it's really called, but he said that I wouldn't be able to pronounce the real word.  Jaffa Tai Chi is kinda like what the Chinese people do.  Did you know that Teal'c's people call themselves Jaffa?"

"Yes, I did."  Daniel looked at the alien.  "Thank, Teal'c."

"You are welcome, Daniel Jackson."

Throughout the remainder of the day, SG-1 did their best to brighten Danny's mood.  Though Sam and Jack both had work to do, they set aside part of their day for the boy and were finally rewarded with smiles and laughter.

Not wanting to dim Danny's mood, Daniel decided to wait until morning to tell him that they were going to be leaving on a mission.

As he tucked Danny in that night, the boy surprised him with a kiss on the cheek and a hug about the neck.  Daniel smiled down at him, tousling his hair.

"Sweet dreams, Danny," he said.

The boy kept looking at him.  "Daniel?"

"Hmm?"

"Is it okay to love you?"

The question caught Daniel off-guard, and it took him a couple of seconds to answer.

"Yes, of course it is.  Did you think it wasn't?"

"I was afraid that, if I loved you, you'd die like Mom and Dad did," Danny admitted in a tiny voice.

The comment hit Daniel like a blow to the solar plexis.  He knew that fear oh so well.  He had always been aware that it started with the death of his parents, but to hear it spoken aloud by Danny was heart-wrenching.

Daniel took both of the boy's hands in his.  "Danny, I want you to understand something.  Just because you love someone doesn't mean that they'll die.  Life doesn't work that way.  Yes, we do sometimes lose people we love, but, many times, those we love are with us for a long time, sometimes our whole lives."  He caressed the boy's cheek.  "It is safe to love people, Danny.  If you don't let yourself love, you'll always be lonely."

Danny gazed up at him for a moment longer, then threw his arms around Daniel's neck.  "I love you," he whispered.

Feeling his throat tighten, Daniel hugged him back.  "I love you, too, Danny, very much."

He tucked the child back in and pressed a gentle kiss on Danny's brow.  As he watching the little boy drift into sleep, the thought went through his mind that the Cedarnans had it right.  Children were, indeed, a great blessing.

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